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Waikato Times, Volume XXVIII, Issue 2304, 16 April 1887, Page 3

Nevada pays her male school teachers an average salary of 140 dole, per month ; her females, 96 dols. "Laughter in Court."—-"Mr Pickwick envied the facility with which Mr Peter Magnus's friends were amused." — Dickens. Scene : Any court. Time : Any trial. Q.C.: "Wlint sort of a night was it?" Witness: "It was dark." (Laughter.) Judge: "My learned friend hardly expected the night to he light, I should think." (Laughter.) Junior: "Perhaps, ni'lud, the learned counsel was thinking of a night light." (Roars of laughter.) Q.C.: " Well, we'll take it that it was a dark night. You went out for a stroll?" Witness: "No, I went for a walk." Judge: "At any rate the witness was walking about." Witness: "No, my lord, I wasn't walking a 'bout.' I was walking fast." (Great laughter ) Q.C.: " You were walk ing fast. Now did you see anything?" Witness: "I saw the prisoner." Q.C. : " Well, tell us what he was doing." Witness : "He was doing nothing." (Laughter.) Judge: "How did he d" it?" (Renewed laughter.) Witness: "Very busily, my lord." (Laughter.) Junior: "Like a briefless barrister, m'lud." (Roars of laughter.) Q.C.: " Did he continue to do nothing long?" Witness: "No; he soon seemed to get tired of it." Q.C. : "What did he do then ?" Witness : "He went into a publichouse." Q.C. : "Whatfor?" Judge : " What does my learned friend go into a publichouse for ?" (Great laughter.) Q.C. : "Will you answer my question?" Witness: "He went in" for some rum shrub." Q.C. (proud of his acquaintance with slang, and with a knowing look towards the junior bar): "It was a very 'rum plant' the prisoner was engaged on." (Shrieks of laughter, during which the court rose, being too convulsed to transact any further business.)— Punch. Yes ! it is certainly true. Ask any of your friends who have purchased there. Garlick and Cranwell have numerous unasked for and very favourable commendations from country customers on their excellent packing of Furniure, Crockery, and Glass, &c. Ladies and gentlemen about to furnish should remember that Garlick and Cranwell's is the Cheap Furnishing Wtaarehouse of Auckland. Furniture to suit all classes ; also Carpets, Floor Cloths and all House Necessaries. If youi new house is nearly finished, or, you are going to get married, visit Garlick and Cranwell, Queen-street and Lome-street Auckland. Intending' pur chasers can have a sent free