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Waikato Times, Volume XXVIII, Issue 2283, 26 February 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

( A FR'KXCK JUOOK's CALL TO Okheu.— Scene : A French court of assizes. Judge "Prisoner, you have beaten this poor man so cruelly that he is dead." Prisoner, vehemently: "He attacked me first, liesides, lie was a rascal, and gave us much trouble on the farm. It is not my fault if he was an idiot." Judge, with severity: "You should remember that idiots are men like you and me !" "Something you wanted, madam?" he queried as sl?e was going out of the store. " Why, I came in for a pair of shoes, and I ve waited twenty minutes and no one has come near me. I've got tired." " Wait just one minute," he whispered. "I've spent twenty-five minutes with this lady with the big faet, but it won't take five minutes to fit your little No. 2's with something nice." Although she wore s's she smiled and sat down to wait. _ Sai.ly. —When an old fanner's daughter first left her good old country home, with its quiet simple ways, for a year in a fashionable boarding-school, she signed her name "Sarah Jane Smith," and took no offence at being called " Sally." Three months later her letter came home signed "Sadie J. Smith." Six months elapsed, and she had become "S. Janie Smithe." Time rolled along, bringing its wonderful change.?, and when the June days came she blossomed forth as "S. Jeannio Smythe." Then licr father hitched his old blind horse to the vegetable cart, and said, " I'm goin' to bring that there Sai hnino an'let 'er know that she can't bring ojeum on the good old name o Smith by ringin' in any more 'y'an''o' changes on i,t. Thorp can't nobody .say a word o harm agin my branch o' the Smith family. I m f)r.ou,d o' it, an' glad I'm ono of em. I.reckon 4 month o'hard work in tater-tinio '11' lot Stiry Jane know that J-a-n-o don'tspellno 'Jeannio."'