MR PADDY MAGINNITY ON RAILWAY REFORM.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2223, 7 October 1886, Page 3

MR PADDY MAGINNITY ON RAILWAY REFORM.

Misthek Edither.— Sir,— Ye wore *xin me and Biddy to cum and see ye when conp's vaynient. Well ay it is pleasin' to ye, we ipi will go now. Ye see we wor only waitin 1 at for the fares to be rejooced, for when I was it attindin' the grate railway meetin' in Weino Hnton, me ould friend Sir Robert Shtout If told me he'd see they wor. Meandßiddy will he save a pinny aich way betune here and a- Hamilton and back agin. Sure that's the m price of a big box o' matches. Whin the u- grate inquiry was to be held in Wellinton or Shtout sint me and Biddy a free pass for the Id shtamer. Sure, sea he, I want yer advice on i- the matter. We wint down, and barrin a ,11 thrifel o' say sickness 'twas an illigant c thrip intirely, so it was, but me ould and r- eshtamed frind, Misther Power's lemonade it (mcd o' malt) cured \w. (Me and Biddy is ir I tavtotallers.) Whin we got down the a Primear was waitin for us, and ses he, how y did ye like the thrip in the Hannymoar ? Ses ,q I, illigant, have ye got any moro like her ? I. J Biddy began to laff, but the ould Scotchman c didn't see it for a bit, but be the time we a, got to the Nag's Head in Mannerse sthreet he seen it, and ses he "we have got s I the Stella, but she's na sac gude as the a Hannymoar, but still a wad na mind i travellin in her, for ye ken I wad hae na t I fares till pay. " Whin the auld boy thries rlto bo funny he apakes broad. " What are i ye adrinkin?" ses he. "Power's dhropi r for heart disease " ses I. " I'm dyin wid 3 I it" ees he. After takin a dhram iI I axed him how he was gettin an 3 wid Jewlius. "Foine," ses he ; "he can't v folley me about now wid the gout." y "Throth,"ses I, "he'll be worse after the , next 'lections." " What do you mane?" . says he. "Faith," sea I, "it will be 'go out' wid him then, for the counthry is i gotten tired ay him, io it is." He mcd a note ay this, and nexht day whin we wor •ittin at the table to hear Misther Vale, J the (raleway) schamer, he seen the joke and he up and tould Jewlius, who began to laff and says tome " Paddy alannah, I I'll make hay while the sun shines." J " Devil fear ye," lays I, "Wor ye ever at Monaco?" ses he. "I was," ses I. Sei he, "It's a butiful place so it is, it's like the Imerald Isle." "How's that," ses I. J Ses he, " There's so much green there, the boord ay green clothes, ye know. I've a wakeness for green," says he with a wink, J " me grandmother kern from Oireland j her I name was Jewdy, and her friends kep a pawn shop." Misther Macswoll, the head man o' the railways, was there. He's a I Scotchman, ay coorse, and a great swell hi is intirely. Ay he goes into a stashin am j.the stashin master sea "good mornin, yei honner " widout bein spoke to, Misthei Macswell will turn round to the thraffic manager— who is always wid him— and as him why he doesn't lam the servants betther manners not to shpake to him widout bein bhpoke to firhst. Whin Misther Vale sthud up Misther Macswell axed him if he was a Scotchman, and whin he said he was not, Mac turned round to Shtout and ses he "I'll have to oondina him, so I will. Ay he was a Scotchman now, or even from Dunadin there mite be sum b\use in him but comin from an Englishman and ai Ocklander to boot, faix it '11 never do, so i wont. I suppose now Misther Vale" se he "ay ye had yere own way ye'd make at altheration in the shtaff." " I would" sei Misther Vale "and I'd begin at the top o' the three." From that minit it wint agin him, for that matther their minds was mcd ur. from the shtart, for it all laked out afterwards undher the infloonens ay Power's decocshin o' malt. Mac ses to me " Paddy ahagur, sure me and Bob's frinds has plinty ay property in Dunadin and Christchurch, and as we keep incrasin the popelashin o' the big towns it'll go up in in value, and whin it raches a sartiu pint they'll sell out, and whin our pockets is well lined— at the expense o' the farmers— we'll maybe think about railway reform ; there, ses he, its' al" in a nutshell for ye." Ould Jewlius laffed Mid ses he "thats' wan o the th ricks ay th thrade;" "bad luck to ye" ses I " for a dirt' set of spalpeens." " Arrah, be dha husdh' ses he (he learned Frinch from Jewdy th< juld grandmother), " sure I'm backin thin up in this little matther and they'll baci me up in the loan; ay course'" ses he — wid a wink—" I don't get any commission foi risin it."' Wid that I up and tould thim I'c go agin thim at the nexht 'lections, and sea I, " The Parleimint house wants the same clanin' out that a sartin sacred house got about eighteen hundhred years since, whin the money changers was druv out wid a scourge ay small cords. Do ye mind the remark that was mcd at the time, Je\vliu.N?"sea I, "ay ye don't ye should, for sure they wor yerancesthors." That mcd the ould boy wince, and they thried to make fnnds wid me be offerin me a quarther cashk o' Misther Power's beaut, but grate as this temptashin was I turned me back an thim ankftm home again. From that minit me free pass an the thrains was tuk from me. I'm sorry about the quarther cashk ;in the meantime ye mite get some and have it ready agin I come down to see ye. No more at present from yer thirsthy friend. Paddt Maginnitt. October 4th, 188 G.

"I say, Jim, dey tell me dare is a man down East dat is so industrious dat he works twenty.fi ve hours in a day." "How is dat, Cuffy ? Dere are only twenty-four hours in a day." "Why, he gets up an hour before daylight, you stupid nigger."