Varieties.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2191, 24 July 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

Varieties.

Ex-Minim'EU Fosith, who .some months ago hid hi'iioii*, fi'.u.s th.it the Asiatic cliolei.i would P<iy us :i visit this summer, iy now aaid to bcof a- (huVii'iit opinion. The bathinpf of the New Yniic Aldermen, consequent upon their aiie^t, l.s believed to have bani&hed hi* fears.. Sl.si'Kli— What dn you think of the gentleman who d.inc;u »<> many times with me .it the Old (iuaid Ball ? Brother— That (hide with «i w .til eve ? Oil, he's a regular Janu.uy thaw SNter— Whv, what do you mean bv that ? iii other— Well, he's fioftai mush, and doesn't know enough to dry up when lit." has a. chance. In K.m.sah, the other day, they hanged a man to the pommel of a saddle on a fractioiiM how and thi'U fughtcned the hone and let him tfo. The animal ran five mile*, and i ho man was probably the worst pommulled man that ever died. And he wasn't puilty of horse stealing either— he had merely murdered a woman. Talk about lightning play of facial expie^sion. You should see the change in an angry woman's face when she turns savagely aiouiid to crush the htnpid blunderer who lias awkwardly stopped upon her trail, and discovers that it i-. the wm of the wealthy potk-packcr whom hpr youngest daughter lias been trying to ensnare. HhVrt will have to more than double the .size of their eggs if they want their fruit to still be used to compare the size of hail* stones with in the West. During a recent storm in that proli'ie part of the country, "hail stones as large as pumpkins," fell. No lover at all had the maiden gay, She wore no engagement ring, But bhe bought a fiddle and learned to play. And thus had a bow on the string; While Mercury was. the god of eloquence he was also the patron of thieves. This, perhaps, accounts for the fact that so many orators steal their nioht eloquent passages. " Dosßx'r some one here know the meaning of the word 'equation ?'" a.sked a young mirtb at a party. And there was just^ one young man who said that while he didn't know exactly, he thought it might be ft contraction for " eq'ial to the occasion," aud then all kissed and went home. Empkiioh William has given $5,000 for the original manuscript of "The Watch on the Rhine." "Economy is wealth." If the person who invented this proverb will call at this office any afternoon, we will present him with a goodly supply of economy for half its face \alue iv wealth. We have more economy than we really need. A woman recently refused to send her husband her umbrella because sho said that he was always fond of a cold duck. " My question pu/.zles you ?" said a professHr to a pupil. "Not, at all," was the bright reply; "it is the answer that is a sticker." Ir would be a cold day for Ireland if she should lt«se her Ulster. "Early close" movement— the wind stirring iig leaves.