THE LETTER J.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2155, 1 May 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE LETTER J.

A ritw days since a strangor from the unconverted wilds of tho Kwt, where mugwumpery was born, and tender feet attain their highest state of sensitiveness, came out to Albuquerque to risit a friend. While walking aloog Railroad uvcnuo bo Hitid to his friend— • There goes a man I met up at La . Junta,' giving the J its natural pronunciation. ' You mean La Hunta,' the friend replied. ' That in a Spanish name, and in that language J takes the sound of EL' ( Is that no P Well I must try to catch on to that.' After •trolling along a short distance further he aeked — 'Where are there Jemes Springs of which I see so muoh in the papers ?' 'You should say Haymes Springs— they are over here in the mountains about *ixtT mile*. 1 Darn the language — it breaks me aU up. That's a pretty nice house over there, that Arraijo houte, isn't it ?' and again he gave the J its proper pronunciation. ' You mean the Armiho bouse ; yes, it's a good oue, too.' ' Damisuha way of abusing the English alphabet. I reckon, then, that must be the Hafla Brother*' store down the street there?' •No, that is not a Spanish name; I think it is a French. However, it u pro* mounoed as spelled.' ' Well, how in Santa Fe, is a fellow goin' to tell what's Spanub and what ian't? Why couldn't they build their language aocordin' to the original plans ?' ' Oh, you'll soon catch on. Yon will find it safest to give the Spanish pronunciation to nearly everything here.' An hour later they sat down at the table of the San Felipe Hotel, and after scanning the bill of fare, the stranger said to the waiter— 1 You may bring me a nioe, huicy piece of roast beef, some pig's howl with some caper sauce, some fricaseed hack-rabbit;, some pork with apple helly, pome boiled potatoes with the buckets on — unskun, you know—some tarts with currant ja — I mean ourrant ham, and, ah, some — ' At this point the waiter swooned, and the guests in the room let out a roar of laughter that gave the chandelier* the chill and fever. This made the stranger mad, and he leaped to his feet like a crazy man, took off his coat and threw it on the floor, and stamped on it and yelled : • You fellers are tryin' to play me for a Kuoker, but by the Eternal, you've struoki the snug ! Whoopee ! (and he jumped up and slapped his fiittt) I'm a destroyin' cyclone from Illinoy, an' I kin lick the hull crow.l ? Spanish ? I kin sling more Spanish in a holy minute than Montezuma could in a year ! Kin I P Well, I should calculate that I kin ! Let some idiot pull off his hacket and hump onto me, an' the first time I hit 'em he'll think he has the himhams ! Spauish ? Oh, I guess not ! My name's Jeremi —I mean Heremiah Hones, from Hacksonville, Illony— and when my dander's up I'm a ravin ' hyena. You playe Ime for a sucker, but you musn't budge a man by his looks. Whoop, go sound the hnbilee. Somebody come out and face me. Let somebody come, hitnerow golloot come to the front and criticise my Spaniah liargoon!' His friends got hold of him and took him from the room, and as he went through the door he remarked ; I kin take a hoke, but Hupiter ! it makes me mad for a lot of hackasses to try to play me for a greeny !'