Amusing.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2146, 10 April 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

Amusing.

It Hoems as if the »tfunie>. »Jt-v<T would otid. Tho most rfconf of tfic'Hi all is for * young lady to obtain a <Dm rob, trild it, '"decomW'tl with pink nbl o:i«, and place it mi her pa's plate a ( the dinner t-bl<>. Thu J? eUfiPitfed.toJw.* an ttjithUic manner of saying " yon Kjitp pot to shell out." Si'.NLI'JHT liiih b»»*n put to odd use at Brmsrln. Palling on ft Miiall shaft the rays jcsobc an upward draught of air which nt>lH a fun in motion, und that in turn Htjnt". fhar»bin »ry that windiau alarm dock, which w.tkcit a man who tells purple to adTerti-c " What a beautiful marine !" ex- > laimed ii lady at the pictme gallery, "ik'g your pardon, mum, ' caul a labour* iu>r wan employed about tho piemi<es, anxious to sot tho lady n^ht ; ' box your pardon, mum ; but he's .1 pprlaoeman. X * tho blue > loth wh it dcs.ived yez." A Fkknch Hcifiitist s.iys that innecti Hre uiiablt; to distinguish one thing 1 from uncther by it% outwaul sh.ipo This maj ho truo, but no oue ever knew a fly to .ili^rht on tlio light-red bilh.ird bill under a luistak'-'u idea that it vv.is a b.ild head. A WKiThfjv Addition irirl h'ts dimniflsed li-T euitoi .it tho request of hor fithor, who >>ffeivd h<»r a perfootly lovely sealskin '.icque for -jo dom^. She likt-.s her aacquo oolter than he likos hi-» sifk. " Avu now, my deir brethren, what <<h ill I s.ty more ? ' thundered the long* A'iMded initJi"tcr. "Auienr' 1 c.imo in •<ep»il(!hr>tl tonoi from the ab.*enttnindod deacon in the baulc of the church. "What are the lust teeth that come? asked a teacher of her clan in physiology. ll lvalue teeth, muni," replied a boy who bad jtfft woke op on the back seat. A new fashionable fiance in called the " button dance." Y?<, we've seen it. Tb» wife neglecta to do the buttons, and th« husband dews the dancing. The tramponitiou of quotation markfl in a reuent music catiloguo caused th» following nstouuding 1 announcement : ".She huaved a sigh iv E flat for 26 cents *' When a countryman was asked what was the wninfc of a dress, he reckoned it was the part that dragged on the part* ment. "Stag Oy.vteb" suppers are in vogue hereabouts. A stag oyster is, of courue, of course, a gentleman bivalve. Major Poole says that " BeD ; with a colon After it, means ' the son of ; " Ben : Gun ; therefore, means " a son of a gun." A New York woman is said to aleep in a chamber which cost, iv decoration alone, $20,000. When she eats a pickle, some ice-cream and a slice of fruit oak« before retiring, her dreams ar« no more pleasant and costly than those of the tramp who sleeps in a hogshead. That was a quaint conceit of the boy who, when he unlocked the horns of two fighting goats and separated them, Mid he had nnbuttin'ed " them. The " Aytagagdlivtit Nalinginnarmik TySaruminaaassumik " is the euphonious title of a journal started in Greenland. Newsboys refuse to cry it on the streeU for less than $10 a day and a pair of steel-plated jaws. Now comes the naturalists with the •tory that the busy bee works but three hours a day — not quite so long as a horte* car drher. Philosopher : Why do you lie around doing nothing? Why don't you go to work P Tramo : lam idle for the sake of economy. philosopher : How do you make that out? Tramp; Well, if I work I tret thirsty , if I get thirsty, I mu-t diink ; but I have no money to get a drink with.% A Nfc\v Western raasrazino is called The Hog. Jt ropre-ents the culture of ifcnowo ago — th it is, the rf:uis.,i£(> — and though plentifully intcrlirdcd with unpromising things, we c.n only \in\m th.it tho pub-li-bers may Marc th"ir bacon. Beecheh uttered a whole-souled truth when he a-iid there are tnn^s when a man must swear or burst. Suoh a movement is that when a man find* that his new laundress has stirched hw flannel shirt. " Givit us the, b.illot-box," i« the cry of but very few of the fair sex, while the re*t of our feminine pTiul-itiun i-« content with being allowed to frequently stuff the bmdbox.