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CUPPINGS.

Cucumbers ought to bo called ' mis fit vegetables.' Fencing is the new crazo among ladios. Well, if they will occupy the fence occasionally it will give the gate a rent, aud the whole business will wear out together. GmnfAN poolugists. estimate that the Dead So.i will be a muss of solid suit 1,000 years hence. This is one of tlioae estimates th.it may taken cum gran" aali.s. The insiidens' ball m London was very successful. E.toli maiden paid £o any received theieby the privilege of inviting five geitltmcn. The wallflowers were exclusively of tlwfmale sex. Notium; like stenogiaphy has been invented for taking statesmen dow n. When the speaker contradicts himself, the short hand reporter shows him up, That is why careful liars rovUe their speeches b' fore they go to the printer. Value ok Gem TiiELb. — Ten years ago nobody could spend a summer nigiit at the Fontane, on the bank of the Tiber, three miles below the city of Koine, without imminent danger of being attacked by the wor&t form of Roman malarious fever, and consequently the few labourers went to the place in the morning and left before sunset. Now 330 persons stay there constantly, and all are m good health. The impiovemeut in the sanitary condition of the place is mainly, if not exclusively, due to the growth of a grove of 123,000 eucalyptus trees. Advices from the Red Sea continue to describe the discomforts experienced at Suakim as very serious. The English soldiers, it is said, are a " pitiful sight," not one man being in a fairly healthy condition, while even the Indian troops are grumbling bitterly, and almost mutinous. The heat is tremendous, the frequent sandstorms most distressing, aud deaths numerous. But if Suakim be bad, Massowah, which the Italians have occupied, is worse. A private letter says :— " We called in at Massowah, and had to anchor for the night, and a more frightful, horrible night I never spent. Not a breath of air, and the thermometer 122 degrees Fahr. This is no exaggeration ; we were panting above the deck . the heat seemed to choke you ; sleep was out of the question. Some negroes seemed to feel the heat more than Europeans, and were groaning fearfully, and pouring buckets of water over their heads, which, however, was of \ cry little use, as the water was between 93 aud 100 degrees Fahr. Five Italian officers have committed suicide, and no wonder. Adeu, after Suakim and Massowah, is a perfect paradise."— British Medical Journal. A Catholic Candidate among Presbyterians. — The Campbells, who for generations past have enjoyed a monopoly of the representation of the County of Argyll in Parliament, are not to be allowed to wield that power any longer, Advanced Liberalism having now taken firm hold of the mind 3 of the people in that part of the Highlands. The influence of the Argyll family is no longer what it was, and knowing this, Lord Colin Campbell, the present member, is not a candidate for that county, which he has represented since last general election. Mr D. H. Macfarlane, M.P. for Carlow, Ireland, has been invited to contest Argyllshire at the ensuing election, and the success with which he has already met clearly indicates that he will win the day. He has addressed the electors in nearly 40 places, and the unqualified enthusiasm with which he has been received everywhere is proof positive of the marvellous change in the direction of advancement that has taken place in politics in the land of the Gael. Mr Macfarlane, although born and brought up in the Green Isle, is a descendant of the Stewarts of Appin, on his mother's side, aud a Roman Catholic. Surprise has been expressed iii many quarters that Presbyterian Argyllshire should select a person of that creed to represent them in the highest Council of the nation, but the views of Mr Macfarlane are more in accord with those of the electors than are the views of any other candidate that has yet sought their suffrages. Even the Free and Established clergy of the county heartily support him. —Exchange. Three young men, settiug out on a journey to a distant part of the country, and without a sou in their pockets to defray their expenses, determined, after holding council together, to assume the character of strolling actors, and on arriving at their first halting-place solicited and obtaiued permission from the local authorities to announce the performance of a piece never before represented, and entitled "The Penniless Travellers." There being no theatre in the village, they decided on erecting a temporary stage in a large barn, the hire of which was to be paid out of the receipts ; and as soon as their pi eparations were completed, and two itinerant musicians engaged by way of orchestra, sent an individual with a drum to summon the inhabitants, most of whom, attracted by the novelty, readily handed over their three sous each to one of the confederates posted at the entrance to the barn. When all were assembled, anJ remained patiently awaiting the commencement, the trio quietly decamped with their booty after locking the door and carrying the key away with them, exulting in the success of their stratagem. About a mile from the village they met a peasant on his way thither, and besought him as a favour to take back the key aud unlock the door of the barn they had forgotten to leave open ; adding that in it there were a number of calves half staned with hunger, not having eaten anything all day. The peasant willingly consented, but on his arrival was somewhat surprised to hear sounds proceeding fiorn the interior of the barn more resembling human voices than the bleating of the animals he expected to find there. However, he lost no time in unlocking the door, and could not restrain his meriment when he beheld some four score individuals rushing out one after another, evidently in a state of extraordinary exasperation. This unwonted spectacleso amused him that he literally roared with laughter ; seeing which, the entire multitude, naturally taking him for an accomplice of the three adventurers, fell upon him, and belaboured him soundly. A few weeks later, a company of real Thespians, happened to pas? through tho village, and being in sore want of funds, proposed, as their ill-luck would have it, to give the inhabitants a taste of their quality ; whereupon the latter, imagining themselves likely to be duped a second time, so rudely maltreated them that they had great difficulty in escaping with their lives. —Temple Bar.

Remember This. If you are sick Hop Bitters will surely aid Nature in making you well when all else fails. If you are costive 01 dyspeptic, or are suffering from any other of the numerous diseases of the stomach or bowels, it is your own fault if you remain ill, for Hop Bitters is a sovereign remedy in all such complaints. If you aie wasting away with any form of Kidney disease, stop tempting Death this moment, and turn for a cure to Hop Bitters. If you are Nervous use of Hop Bitters. If yon are a frequenter, or a resident of a miasmatic district, barricade your system against the scourge of all countries — malarial, epidemic, bilious, and intermittent fevers — by the use of American Go's Hop Bitters. If you have rough, pimply, or sallow skin, bad breath, pains and aches, and feel miserable generally, Hop Bitters will give you fair skin, rich blood, and sweetest breath, and health. That poor, bedridden, invalid wife, sister, mother, or daughter, cau be made the picture of health, by American Co's Hop Bitters, costing but a trifle. Will you let them suffer ? In short, they cure all Diseases of the stomach, Bowels, Blood, Liver, Nerves, Kidneys, Bright's Disease. £500 will be paid for a case they will not cure or help. Druggists and chemists keep. Nono genuine without a bunch of green Hops on white label and Dr Soule's name blown in bottle. Shun all others a8 vile, poisonous stuff.

Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/WT18860102.2.24

Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka

Waikato Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2104, 2 January 1886, Page 4

Word count
Tapeke kupu
1,347

CUPPINGS. Waikato Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2104, 2 January 1886, Page 4

CUPPINGS. Waikato Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2104, 2 January 1886, Page 4

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