Legitimate Drama.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2093, 5 December 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

Legitimate Drama.

Yonkehs Gazette. " How, now, Henrico ! What meani that rugged soar athwart thy cheek ?" " Tis nothing, girl, except that yeatere'en I gat me o'er that trysting wall and did* with yon accursed olothes line intermingle." " Ah, shrewd and ounning cavalier I Thod dost avert the truth — this tale of thine ii bat a shift to down ins circumspection." "Besbrew thee, maid but tbon'rt a defer one 1 I'll not deceive thee I Tail scar bef eft me in a brawl with that same recreant, Vingar» do I" " Vingardo !" " Aye, Vingardo 1" " Ho that doth peanuts scatter i' the organ loft and bawla his tones from parts abdominal ?" " The same, Andromeda." "He taint thee with the pollution of hit touch I He brand mine own Henrico with his plebian pinion 7 0, that the godi had ors fc » " Abate thee, wenoh I Turn off the faucet of thy grief till I have told thee of oat joust, for sweet indeed, the tale will fit tby mood." "Give it me, then, Ilonrioo I I gasp for part where thou dost tell me of- toe gore whprcin thoa wallowed this oostermonger." " Give o'er then, whilo I do croon it thee ! But yestere'en, ere yet the duak had sopped the last Bweot draught of sunlight, I did encounter this Vingardo, and in woody pass o'erheard him say that i' the matin service jester • morn my own Andromeda, bad flatted in the Sanctus l" 11 Me flat I 0 ven'mons tongue 1 0 link of hell's distortions ! Where then was that avenging " " Gag thee, thou prattler. An' thou oraveit gore, keep thine ears alert and 'twill be thine to batten on. Attend me now 1 When thai he did acouee thee and thy larnyx, a* quiok as 'twere the eoho of his speech, he gat the lie, an' c'en as quick hii knuokles did I find familiar grown with this my disc 'Twm then. Andromeda, that like the doughty knight, Sir Juan Sullivani, be that of Boston culture is the fruit, I massed me portions mugoular, and as a ram doth hurl him at an urchin's afterwards, so did I acquaint me with his frontispiece." " The gods be praised for this sweet bolus, Henrico 1 And how looked the knave when thou didst ocase thy calisthenics ?" " Aq 'twere a far-gone tomato had uiurped his lineaments, and o'er their parts strange sediments bestrewn. Had tbou unwittingly looked thereat, thou would'st have thought theo 'twere the very place whereon lomi modern railroad oasuality had just befell."

NotntNa Bothers « modest bat hungry old hen bo much as when she has made ■> hearty breakfast off an old shoe-lace and finds tba unfortunate shoe still at the end of it. — Fall River Advance.

Fnorssson Sullivan's interesting statement that he was never drank in his life was probably based on the liberal definition that " a man il not drank so long as he can lie on the ground without holding on." — Providence Journal*

" What pains a father more than the cry of his infant ohild ?" asks some one. We don't know, unless it,ia tho cry of his infant tvrini. — Boston Pott.

It Bceroa that Mrs, Sullivan mauled Professor John L. Sullivan, of Boston. Then let as tear the gaudy chaplet from his brow. You tear it. — Chicago Current.

A Bicycle Ballad, Gayly the bioyoler Glides o'er the tar, Like n demigod olden Aitrido of a star; His girl at the oasement eita Watching his pranks, While Sally, the cook, cries " My, Look at them shanks." — Washington Hatciu t.

Avoid a drunken man ; he may get you into a quarrel. Avoid the same man when he is sober ; he]may get yon drank.

Ax Irishman oaught a bee after it bad stung him, and, examining it carefully, be said : "Ye dirthy littla bl»gg»rth 1 Ye's been •ittin' round till ye's worn the sato out of yer breeched, an' bed.id Ch've found yer knoife ■chtioken through the hole in yer hip-pook«t, ye little haythen !"