Humour.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2087, 21 November 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

Humour.

I',, i : " Irrd II r-j waz a (;reaate mon, thkiV Mu:,: Waxhp.noow?' P. : ' U wft/." jr . ' Wuli, wuU, wall! An' t»l-j»l did he do ). ncjsr ? ' P ; "Phawt <Hrl ho doo?' M : " Yu ; p'.mct did he d<v, ? ' ¥ : " l'<ia vt ill dn't h° doo 1" M : " Wul\ ph*wt did he clco?" I.: "H . moelmverid the telyachope." ?J. : ' II > did?' P. : "Ifedii!" U. : " V/ull, wall, wuU I An phiwt c'id ha doo wid it ? ' P. : "Phawt rliJ he doo mid it?" Y. '. " Yiy ; pliawt did be (ho wid it?" P.: "WuU he dmthivrrcd that the nearer ye }j>t to der sun the oouldcr itez." M.:" He did? 1 , P. : "Ue did I" P.: He did 1 II : " Wuil, wuli, wull I And how did ho doo it?" P. : " How did ho doo ie ?" M. : " Via: hou did ho doo it ?" P. . " Wall, ain't there anow up on top ay thftt mountain, there ? ' M. : " There v, neow," P. : "An tlu'tb'a none hero?" M. : " Tnerp'a uone." P. : "An ain't that nearer tho feU" than this?" M. : >• It i^, neow." P.: " Wull, then!" M : " .Shure, wull, wull, wull !" P. : " N2ow, wa/n't he a greaato mon ?" M. : '. 110 w<i7;, indacle !" P : "Wartn'fche?" M. : "H" w-i/,, But, oi say, P it !" P. : " WuU ? ' M. : ••You bettor betaking >er ou'd noso away from that enndic ther*;, or, by the duchovory jiv L-ird Rosfl, yell frcezu it aff !" P : "Oi will?" "M : "Yowill." P.: ' Wull, wull, wulll '— lh' ll'j'i

A MiMSTnn ol tbr Gopppl who oncd pnrneycd on horseback through Virginia in the ante-bellucn daya telU thia etorj : Ovei taking an old negro on tl)proa<l, anl feeling in the mood for a cb/it with the oli man, he plowed his horgo to keop pace wna him, when the following dialogue ensued : " Dd you live about here? " " Yes" nvi?sa. T bolonj? to Colonel II • tie lib 'bout two miles from yer." "Iti 3 a beautiful country. Are the people abont hwe religtoua? " 41 Yrq, niassa; dey is a powerful Ei'sht o{ 'ligiona 'bout yer. Due is Bupttesef', Mefodeßses. Pre!byteriums, and poruo Q'7»kcr°." " Well, what religion did you ouoose?" "Oh laws, massa, I Ain't no 'hgico at all — I'SB jent ola Tucopel."

JrssiED. 1 M-, and Samuel Kjmp, both about forty yoar3 old, had had many a quarril and not a few combats. Finely JX>em««. who was the more pronounced and ardent character of the two, made a vot that he would never again speak to his adversary. " Gentlemen," ho would B&y, " he is nothing but a do;?, and not worth a gentleman's speaking to. I would no more speak to him than I would to a flog." Kemp, goed natured, heard of the remark, but smiled, and 8&H nothing in response. Not lon,-; after vsrarda IX cms, having attended a camp-meeting whero there wa=i a great revival of religion, became powerfully exercised in his mind, and after some violent experience was thought to have obtained religion. Deems believed co himself, a d having j .lined tne church, aft. r the meeting was over rode along home. Never had he been in so sweet a frame. Oa tho way, in the mi'lat of pious and happy medications, he suddenly met bis Ute adversary. He checked hia horsa, looked blandly upon Kemp, and then gaid : " Jvamp, we've bud many a quarrel and scuffle. I have said to myself often, K«rop, that I honestly did believe that you were the triflin'est, lowflungest hound that I ever see, and that my intentions wao nevor to epc&U to you aguin. But, Kemp, I've been to Big Spring C»uipmeetin', whore they had a powerful rewiwal — powerful, Kernp — and I've got religion, a thing I were afraid I never would pit, be-in' henclered by jea sich aa you. And, K<>mi>, I now feela diffeipnt. I feeld l.k<3 I c mid ep°ak to anything. I feel, Kmip, Ike I could even speak to & dog. Good-bj-o, Kemp." Then Mr. Daenn rode calm'v r.n.