CHAPTER LIV.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2087, 21 November 1885, Page 1 (Supplement)

CHAPTER LIV.

" THAT SEALS MY FATE." " That girl ia in some kind of misohief," thought Ladr Gertrude. " That ifl » guilty faco, if ever I saw one. Surely she cannot have a lover in the hou?e ? " Lady Gertrude thought of all the eligible men. Captain Moore was the most general lover among them ; but he was so hopelessly enslaved with Lady Ethel, that he would have no thought for any one else. " She seems to be such a good girl, too— so modest, so retiring and gentle. I cannot think that she would allow any love-making nonsense ; still, Bhe had a guilty face." It was significant of the pride of the family that her brother, Lord Carsdale, never once occurred to her mind. She would just as soon have suspected him of forgery as of a flirtation with her mother's companion. So that Lady Gertrude passed on, anxions and disturbed, while Ailie went to her room, and, to her wonder, fonnd the door open again t This time she remembered to have closed it, so that some one must have turned the handle and have entered; but there was nothing disturbed — there wai no sound, no sign of anyone having been there. "It was ft servant, perhaps," she said to herself, " with a message from the countess. If anything is said about it, I can easily account for having been away from my room ;" and, in the pressure of other thoughts, she forgot that. Now she put out the lamp. She made no pretence of going to sleep ; she could not rest with that beating heart and throbbing pulse. Her face burned like fire when he had kissed her, and her hands were cold as the white hands of the dead. She eat by the window, watching the darkness, the soft, grey shadows that began to come with the morning, she soft, sweet mists, that seemed to cling lovingly to flower and tree ; to watch the gray, noiseless shadows of the night, as one by one they dissappeared and gave place to the lovely, laughing light of morning. Her life was in her hands, and not hers alone, but the life of two others ; the two paths were clear enough before her. She did not doubt for one moment the possibility of his obtaining the separation ; she had always heard that money could do anything— that, in reality, there was one law for the rich and one for the poor. She wasted no time in trying to think whether she could, in the eyes of the law, cease to be his wife ; all she thought of wag, should she give her consent ? Her first impulflo was naturally tn refuse, to cling to him, to tighten her hold of him, to refuse to be parted from him, to refuse to yield him to another. lie was her own husband, she said ; Heaven had given him to her, and if ehe yielded, he would marry this beautiful woman whom he loved, and then ho would tbink no more of her. She pictured to her. self the long, years, stretching out far and wide, all dull, dark, and dreary, while her husband was happy in another love. She bit her lips, she clenched the little white hands — it was not to be borne, not to be thought of. Then, if she refused— ah I what was the alteri native? He would not make his marriage known, nor, after all that she had heard, did she wish him to do bo ; the result would be nothing but family disunion and misery. He would go abroad ; she would, perhaps, spend years and years without ever seeing him ; and ho would grow to hate her in time because she stood between him and the one great happiness of his life. Of the right or wrong she could not judge ; she was willing to leave that in wiser hands — all that she had to conoern herself with was, should she give her consent ? Through long hours she sat there debating, unablo to make up her mind, unable to decide, weeping bitter tears of passionate despair, then praying with the simple faith of a child. Once she had honestly believed that nothing could dissolve the tie of marriage, that no earthly power could part those who, before Heaven, were joined, but wiser heads than hers bad decided " Yes " — had agreed that men could step in and, for certain reasons, dissolve this tie. Whether her marriage was one for which such dissolution were possible or not, did not matter to her ; she bad but to decide whether or no she was willing to content to it. Then, when the morning bud wa« ihining

full ami warm in thn Mvio Jravcn*?, eho ro«-c from her j.ef.t ; her faci wtq pale, aud she shuddered l.ko one i>ei;:c<l with cold. She went to bcr little writing Übl n , and taking a piece of paper, she wrote rapidly for soraa minutoo. " That ia my answer," she said to herself ; "that reals my fate." Sbe looked at it for some minutes in silencp, then kissed it, plaoed it in an envelope ready to Rive to Lord Carsdale. It wpi over then and done; there waa no further indecision, no further struggle. She lav do?n and fell into the deep sleep of exhaustion ; fthe slept until Lady Waldrovo's maid rapped at the door and said the counteßS was waiting for hei . Alice roused herself ; she hastened to change. her pvening-drca, and removo, as far as she could, all trace of fatigue ; and then she went to Lady Waldrove's room. The old routine of duties awaited her ; Bhe had to read page after page of fashionable correspondence, to mark what letters required answering, and those that were not worthy of it. Sbe went through her work mechanically, not with her usual cheerful brightness. Once LvJy Waldrove notioed her white face and heavy eyes, and asked if she were •well. Alice said she was well, but tired; and the countess thought, in her own mind, that salaried dependents had no right to be tired. Alice waa thinking how she could see Lord Carsdale to give him the note ; as a rale, ehe met him three or four times every day. She seldom saw him at lunoheon, always at dinner, and she had not forseeu the least difficulty in giving him the note. " There will be no need for keeping him twenty-four hours in suspense," she said to herself ; "I will giro him my answer as aoon ss I see him." During the morning sho was free at intervala, and oonld hare seen him bad he been in the home. She went to the library, the dining, room, the morning-room, the picture gallery ; but there was no trace of him. Then she beard by accident that he had gone out with the earl, and was not expected to return before dinnor time. " I ahall see him at dinner," she thought ; but several fresh visitors made their appearance, and she hardly caught one glimpse of him. She tried to get Eenr him as tno loDg procession of gueets passed to tho dining-room, but it wa^ impossible. During dinner he eat by Lidy Ethel; but Ailie saw that ho was pale and absent-minded— that he said little, but looked very sad. " If the worst comes to the worst," ehe thought, " I can but follow him to the grounds when he goes out this evening ;" but again, as fortune would most cruelly have it, there oame on a terrible storm of thunder aud rain, so that no one could go out of doors. Still Ailic was not disturbed. Living in the same house, it was absurd to believe that aho would have any real difficulty in giving him a note —quite absurd. The evening was passing; the party assembled in the large drawing room was a very brilliant one ; there was music, cards, eongH — and more than onco Ailio aaw her husband's eyes fixed on her with an inquiring glance, as though ho would fain ask what was the anwer. Sbe tried time after time to get near him— to find flotue little excuse for fipeaking to him ; but it was all in rain, she could not. Tears of disappointment filled her eyes. On other | evenings tho countcaa had always sent her i bore and there with messages to Lord Carsi dale and to tho different guests, but to-night j Lady Waldrove had nothing to cay ; she was not in the very best of humors. Lady Ethel had that day received an invitation from the Duohess of Harrington, and thought of accepting it. Lady Waldrpve waa much annoyed. Why could not her son make up his mind, and ask the beautiful heiress to be his wife ? " Children are a terrible anxiety," said tho worldly mother to herself; "» terrible i anxiety." So she eat silent and thoughtful among her I gueßts, sending no messages, listening to nothing except her own hurried, anxious thoughts; while the white beautiful face by her side grew every day more haggard. Time was passing so quickly, and as yet Bhe had no ohance of giving him the note. He camo up to his mother, by whose side she was sitting, and spoke to her; but the countess answered him half angrily ; she was so bitterly disappointed ; she had hoped bo eagerly that her son would marry the beautiful Lady Ethel. For the firat time in her life, she watt inclined to be angry with him. As he was speaking, Ailie saw that his eyes were fixed on her—that they almost asked the question, " Had she her answer ? " Then there came one moment, one half moment, while the countess waa speaking to some one else, during which Ailie heard him nay: "Do not forget ; let mo have your answer to-night." She could not tell him it was there ready for him ; she could not say, " I have been oarrying this note about all day, and ean find no chance of giving it to you ; " and all that he read in her eyes was a dim, dull, anxious look that told him nothing. It seemed to Ailie that her very faculty of invention was paralyzed that evening. She bad read stories wherein notes, such as eho had written, were passed even in the most delicate and dangerous situations. What was to prevent her from doing something of the kind? Supposing that she dropped it on the floor and raised it, pretending to think it his — and then, suppose the countess should intercept it, and, thinking it was her eon's, read it 7 Suppose she took a book and put it between the leaves, and then passed the book to him ? She might do that ; but then, in a brilliantly-lighted drawing-room like that, it was not so easy as it scorned. She, Lady Waldrove's companion, was not supposed to be on such intimate terms with Lord Carsdale as to speak to him when she would. She roused herself suddenly to a sense of what was going on near her. " My dear Miss Dorwent," the countess was saying, in the most exasperated tone, " would you be kind enough to tell me what you mean by that fixed stare at nothing ? I have told you five times that lam tired. I want you to find the third volume of the ' Mill on the Floss, 1 and bring it to my room," And Ailie, as she followed the countess, wondered bow Bho could manage to give her husband a message that night.