THE TERRIBLE CHILD.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2084, 14 November 1885, Page 4

THE TERRIBLE CHILD.

Scent'-A Rnlu.ij Cairi.ige. rorvin.iß. s -The Moth i ; t. c Child. Tho Child : Wh.it - nuking tins noise.' The Mother : The cun.igo-., dc.v. Child: Wliy ' Mother lieu nine they're ino\ ing. Child: How? Mother : It's tin* c cim» di.iwing them. Child : Wh.it engine ' Mother Tl>f on- m fi<mt of tln> ti mi CliiM : Why's it in front of the train ? Mother: To di.iw the tram. Child : \V h it tr.un. Mother Theoni' we're in. Child: Why does tho online di.iw the train. Mother : Fs"can*e the driver makes it. Child- Whit driver? Mothei . The one on the locomotive. Chile. Wh.it loomotive.' Mother: The one in front of the train! I've just tnld yon. Child : Told me what? Mother . Hold ymr tongue ! You worry me' Child : Why do I vvoriy you ? Mothei B jcanso you ask too many ques tion*. Child . Wh.it questions ? Mother Oh, good Heavens' No wonder go many men won t in my ' __

What L'rk\ h\rhi> tiik Miuiuuih — " Then you love me truly r" mnaikeda fireman to his girl the other night " Ye«, ye?, my darling; truly, most truly." " And in spit*- of my poverty '!' " What matters mere wraith, uh< n com pared with the bliss of ymir noble lov e? ' "Thinks, thinks, my be loved, >on have rendered me unspeakably happy " "I would rather be your wite and live in a cottage, than dwell in the pil.ico of a punce !" " Bless you, bless jou, my own _| )ut " "Hut what?' "lint I hay ou t the cottage ! I've only a bunker in the engine house." The Latlst Swimm.k.-— A singular case of imposition lias come undir the notice of the Lichfield policeman Within the last few daja an linhman has been obtaining money from various clergymen and others in the district, by representing that his child had died, and that ho was too poor to buy i coffin. In some casts .1 giavc was, actuilly dug in the clmicliyard. Atone village not only was the grave dug, but the. church bell tolled, the clergyman being also in waiting to pcrfonn the buu.il service. No funeral party, however, put m an appearance, and nothing has since been heaid of the man. Tiih Ska Skkfi-at. — The captain of the QueWc ship Emblem, Ciptain Robert*, from liangoon, which arrived at Queentown on Sunday moiiung, states that on Aug. o, at 10 o'clock in the moiniiv.', and when in lat. 29 35 N. and long 31 JO W., the mate drew hib attention to a sea-ser-pent winch was lying on the surface of the water, about Oft. from tne ship's aide. It meastucd not less than oo't. in length, and about 7ft. in circumference. It was of a light pink colour, and duiing the tune (15 minutes) that the crew saw it, its head, which was as big as that of a ralf, was slightly laised out of the tea. Sever tl times it; mouth opened, disclos ing fangs about 4in, in length. When first set » by tnc »ntc it was lying quite motionless, but the water from the bow of the ship startled it. The captain said thit in th.ipe it resembled the snake. The weather was good, with a slight wind blowing, the Emblem scarcely making four knots. Rkmds v, ok an Ancient LvxnMvnic — One of the most curious survivals of ancient privilege disappears with this week. The cows, which have delightt d ao many generations of childien, at the end of the Mall in St. Janus * I'aik hate been peremptoi lly ordered to be l einov cd Most of the nnlk«ellcis closed then stalls on Tuesday, but two ladies, Mis Kitchen and Mib3 Buiry, wnc obstinate, ami avowed their determination to ret mi their holdings until dispossessed by actual forco. In former limes tho cows were permitted to graze in the Uiccn I.irk, and at no time has any rent be&n pud fni the right of keeping cows at this spot. It would be interesting to know how the privilege originally arobC, but it is beyond a doubt that it has existed for 130 years in the family of one old lady. No actual pica of obstruction can be urged for the sudden withdiawal ol the permission, the cnfoicement of which must entail a considerable pecuniary loss on the owners of the cows, and will debar many children »ntl other visitors to the park from enjoying their customary glass of milk, here ostentatiously designate d as "fiom the cow," in ironical distinction to the usual source of London supply. Railw vy Rates — The Mount Ida (Central Otago) paper gi\es the following instance of the excessive charges made by the Railway Department for convey ance of goods :—": — " Lately, a bag containing a hundred weight of rape seed was rccened m Naseby from Dunedin. On •caching its destination, the firm to whom it was consigned had to pay 0s (id railage to Palinciston, and la waggon carriage thence to Nasehy — in all, 10s Od, or at the rate exactly of £10 10s per ton ! This i«i picpoatcious, and certanly supplies a very forcible argument why our lailways shouldn't pay, even if they did. We always thought that waggon carriage wan exorbitant enough in all conscience, but we now learn that the freight-chargca im poied(\nthe true sense of the word) by the railway authoiities aie fully 100 per cent, holier, because the rates given above c ir« for distances covering 40 miles of rail and 60 miles of road respectively. Merchandise can be landed in Dunedin from London — fully 16,000 miles away for from 30s to 50s per ton, the average per iteampr being 4-js , but heio, on our old-fashioned managed railway s, wo are charged carriage at the rate of £0 lOi per ton for carrying goods a distance of 40 miles." That "silence ia golden" does not seem to come within the ken of some of the younger of the English jockeys. The following amusing skctcli by "Rapier," in the Sporting and Dramatic Nevis, is a ca«e in point-— "No trifling part of a jockey'a education is a knowledge of how to hold bis tongue. One young man has reccntlj^liad a warning, but it came too late. J-f .id lie possessed this most deniable accomplishment I should have been richer myself, and some of my tiienils would hmebeneliredhysevei al thousand pounds Thus it happened. Aichcr was the othir duy riding n colt thnt appeared to b<- invincible. He cantered to the post, nnd was joined there by a lad ((*. Eauett), a miecps-iful jockey in his way, who promptly struck iipcon venation byobserv injr, Tin going to beat you to-day!" 'Arc you?' Archer carelessly asked, 'Yes, I am !' the other replied, ' You think I'm not. All right. You II s?e !' The lad in truth was 'as near as a toucher ' doing what he said he should do, nnd we, who were in that dcsiiabie thing what th»y till ' the know,' thought for o few comfortable seconds that our money was in our pockets. But Archer won. 'He'd have done me to a certainty if lie hadn't talked about his marc !' Aichcr said aftei wards. 'I should have laughed at the idea of his being dangerous if he hadn't .said what he did, and should have taken no notice of his getting aliertd — felt sine he would come back or I would catch him w lien I started; but after what Ik said I thought I had better keep .in eye on him. He astonished me, I can tell you, and lie would have won the race if he hadn't cjiven me warning.' " Those who backed the second at from 12 to 1 to 20 to 1 are naturally delighted with the jockey. They propose, indeed to present him with <i testimonial. A muzzle is the most favoured suggestion. Yes I It is certainly true. Ask any of your friends who have purchased there. Garlitk and Cranwell havo numerous unasked for and very favourable commendations from country customers «n their excellent packing of l'urm ture, Crocker}', and Glass, &c. Ladies an} gentlemen about to furnish should remember that Gariick and C ran well's is thk Cheap Furnishing Warehouses of Auckland. Furniture to suit all Ha<!M>« : also Garp<"M, 1 lor Cloths and all House N«c<«*an<_i If your new home n nearly finished, or you arc Kaing to get mariiod, visit Girlick anrl Cranwell, Queen-street and f ornc-streot, Auckland Intending purchasers can havo a catalogue