CHAPTER XLV.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2078, 31 October 1885, Page 1 (Supplement)

CHAPTER XLV.

mE husband's promise. Looting down, Lord Carsdale, saw a pftle, bctutiful face, wilh a wistful look in the sweet eyes. He saw littlo whito hinds clasped in almost feverent entreaty. " Lord Carsdale," said a gentle voice, " I want to speak to you." Then he recognised hia wife Ailie ; and though his first quick impulse was one of impatience, in a moment he had taken of! his bat, dismounted, and stood bare-headed by her side. " Yon want to apeak to me, he repeated. "You almost startled me, Ailie, standing there in the duik of tho evening. Tell me, what do you wish to say?" Ho fastened tho reins of tho horse round ft tall tree. " I will leave Blaok Charlio to enjoy some of this fine grass," he said. " And now, Ailie, to business. You want me — what is it ?" He walked on in lilerjce for some minutes by her aide ; then she raised her face to his. " I want to tell you," ehe said, " that you muflt Fpeak a kind word to me. I cannot bear thin any longer ; I shall go mad unless you speak kindly to me. There is always a cloud on your face when yon look at me. Have you not one word for me ?" He looked at her in astonishment ; ha did even understand the terrible storm of love and despair going on in her heart. " I do not know what you mean, Ailie," he replied. " I have not been unkind to you ; I do not know that I have ever looked or felt impatient at all. Of course, it is an unpleaiant state of things, but I have not complained." " Oooe before," she said, " I asked yoa for bread and yon gave me a stone ; now I hart watched you— how kindly yon smile and look at others ; how kind you are to every onehow gentle ; yet you treat me as though I were the most indifferent stranger." "My dear Ailie, that is hardly my fault : you have placed yourself in a situation that has no parallel. To betray my secret now, after guarding it so long, would be simply to ruin myself and to break the hearts of those dearest to mo. I cannot do it ; and, Ailie, in keeping that secret, I am doing yoa no wrong." " No wrorjg 1" sho repeated, mournfully. " Perhaps not, M raeo view auoh thinfi ; a woman would tell yoa bettor. No wrong 1 yet my heart aches always with pain that I cannot describe , that I could not tell. I only know that I hunger and thirst for one kind word from you, and you never give it to me." " But, Ailie, I mutt be prndent ; I have done all that I can do ; I tee, now that I am older, our marriage was a terrible mistake, as all marriages without love are; but I have done ray be it under the circumstances. It is you, Ailie, who by coming here, have ao complicated matters. You might have been happy enough as Mrs. Nelson ; you conld have lived in all comfort and respectability." She looked up at him with a sudden fixe of passion gleaming in her face. " Do yon know that I conld quote Tenyson'a words to you ?" she said. " Comfort, scorned of devils," only that I fear they would shock you. Ido not want comfort, or money or anything else, but— a little love from yon." 11 Love from me 1" he repeated. u Ye», love from you, Lord Carsdale. I would rather puffer any pain, any privation ; I would rather be miserable, and have at times one kind word from you, than be the happiest, the most brilliant of women, without these kind words." " But, Ailie, there never was any question ef love," he said. "I love yon; and, Lord Carsdale, there should be a question of love. Do yon think I am a marble statue ? Do you think that I have a heart of stone ? Is it ice that fills my veins ? Am I human, that you think I oan ccc you, live near you, love you, and not long for one word of love in return ?" "I have not thought about it," he laid. "As I tell you, it has never seemed to me a matter of love." She laid her hand on hit. " Do try to care a little for me," she said. 11 1 am your wife — I bear your name — I leva you— give me a thought sometimes." She bent down and kissed the hand she held oat in hex own. Ho started at the touch of those warm, tremblinc lips. i "I am only young," she said, " and I can- [ not help loving you. Ido not think that in all the world there is any ono like you — I have seen no one." He smiled at the unconscious flattery of her words. | " I cannot help loving you," she repeated. j " When you enter a room, I always say to myself there ii no one here liko him — and yet — he is mme — I am his wife — though he talks and laughs with ethers, I am his wife." " Poor child t" he said, gently. •' And then— you will laugh at me perhaps, but I cannot help it— then the careless words people say stab me to the heart." " What words are those, Ailie ?" he asked. Even in the faint light of the stars he saw the hot flush that covered her face. She paused for a few moments, during wbioh ho •wept away with his hand some fallon leaves from the green bank and mad« a seat for her. •' You will be tired," be said, gently. " Sit down an tell me what words stab you to the heart, Ailie." There waa comething of constraint in the quiet tone of his voioe ; evidently be had an idea of what it was. " Lady Ethel is very beautiful," said Ailie. '' She is so lovely and so graceful that I cannot wonder *t any one loving her — and people •ay— Lady Waldrove says, that the dearest wish of her heart is te see you marry Lady Ethel.' " I cannot help what people oay," ho replied, coldly. Dear Heaven! what anguish her simple words caused him — that was the only desire of his heart, too, but it could never be gratified. " Then," continued Ailie, " whenpoople see you together they look at each other and smile." "I cannot help that," he said agiin. " No, perhaps not, exactly. But, Lord Carsdale — oh, do believe me — I am not jealous. The moon might just as well be j^aloua of tho sun as lof Lady Ethel. Who am I, that I should be jealous of her ? But it pains me, it hurts me, for I begin to feel quite sure that you will never learn to care for mo while ehe is near." He raado no answer — it wan io» terribly true. Ho could find no reply for her. He pulled the Bweet-emdling giaea up by the roots and flung it away, he played with the f&llen le,ave3, ho looked up at the shining etara, but bo could find no anbwer for her. •• There are times," continued Ailie, " when ■be looks so beautiful tnatl do not wonder at anything — times when you look at her, and I see all your houl shining in your eyes. I wonder if you would have married her bad you never met with me ?"

" It is quite useless to speculate on such a subject," be replied. " I did meet yon, and married you." " Do (ell me, Lord Carßdale/'ahe said. "II yoa do not love me, surely yon trust me. Do tell me— would it have been so ?" " Why do you persist in asking me? It can do you no good to know," he said. " That ia almost answer sufiioient," she said, sadly. " You would have married her, Lord Carsdale, had you never seen me." " Yes, I should have done so, Ailio," he replied ; and the words oost him an effort. " Still, do not make any mistake. If my soul, as you cay, shines in my eyes when I look at her, I am sorry for it, and will keep better guard over myself. I am a man of honor. I do not make love to her, Ailie, nor do I deceive her in any way. I have tho highest eateem for hpr." Ailie raised her face to the shining stars. •' Do you know," she said, " what I wish ? I wish that I oould dio out here, by your side, and free you, that you might be happy." " Nay, I do not wish that, Ailie. I would not purchase my happiness at the price of your life. Why should I ? But there is one way open for us ; Ido not propose it serioußly— I have not thought of it ; but there ia ono way open for us, if ever we hay« recourse to do anything of the kind. I should neither propose nor advocate it ; still, there lies ono path before us— a proper legal separation." The words pierced her heart ; the beautiful face, with its tragical expression of lovo, grew white as death and cold ai stone. The night wind swept around them, the itars shone brightly over their head*, the peace of Heaven brooded over the fair castle, but in the loving heart of that gentle girl a gword had been plunged. Even the silence touched him at last. " I do not, of eonwe, mean that such a thing will ever be ; indeed, Ido not know that iit can be. I merely say it to show you that there is an easier alternative than death, if we are driven to strong measures." ■ She bowed her head again, and again she touched his hand with her lip 5 . 11 You are my husband," she said, "my lord and master— the arbiter' of my fat*. I would die to serve you ; death would oome from your hands sweeter than life from another ; but that whioh you hint— it would be worse than death. While I live bo other TromiS's heart shall be your home. Oh, my love, be pitiful to me 1 Such wordi kill mt!" ▲11 her self- command, her pride, her selfcontrol failed. She wept bitter, passionate tear*. " My love," «he eobbod, " be kinder to me ; lot me die, but do no; offer m« life without yon. I cannot help it ihst i lova you. lam your wife, and it seems right that I should loTi you, no matter why yon married me, or how. See, lam not exaoting. Ido not ask much. Only a kind word sometimes to keep me from starvation and despair. You will n«t r»fu«e »c that I Do not look unkindly at me. D» not grow impatient. And oh, my lovo 1 my lore I do not look kindly in another woman's faoe when lam near. I can bear anything bat that." The passion of her words touohed him a little. Sh* had exhausted heiself by the power of passion and unrest ; now she leaned back against she old gnarled trunk of the tree and closed her eyes. He looked at the beautiful face, to fair, io purs. He laid to himiclf that she wai more beautiful even than Lady Ethel, but in such a different way. And then there came to him a half kind of wUh that he had learned to love h^r— that ha had never teen the lovely, brilliant woman that had take possession of his whole heart, even against hi* will. He would almost have been pleated to have taken the slight figure in his arm*—tohave laid : " Look np, my gentle, loving wife ; I will learn to oare for you." He knew the words would be false so he did not utter them. Still he was a gentleman ; b« could not see a woman suffer without trying to oonsoU her. " lilie," he Baid, " I will be mor« careful, I will never willingly give you fain. I have never been unkind to yoa, but for the future I will be more kind. Do you hear me, Ailio ?"