The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2057, 12 September 1885, Page 6 (Supplement)

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

Bt Mabk Twain.

(continued) I see what he was up to ; but I never said nothing, of course. When I got baok with the duke, we hid the oanoe and then they set down on a log, and the king told him everything, just like the young fellow had said it— every last word of it. And all the time he was a doing it, he tried to talk like an Englishman ; and he done it pretty well too, for a slouoh. I oan't imitate him, and so I ain't agoing to try to ; but he really done it pretty good. Then he says : "How are you on the deaf aud dumb, Bilgewater ?" The duke said, leave him alone for that ; said he had played a deaf and dumb person on the histrionio boards. So then they waited for a steamboat. About the middle of the afternoon a couple of little boats came along, but they didn't come from high enough up tho river ; but at last there waa a big one, and they hailed her. She sent out her yawl, and we went aboard, and she was from Cincinnati ; and when they found we only wanted to go four or five mile, they was booming mad, and giving us a oussing, and said they wouldn't land us. But the king was calm. He says. : " If gentlemen can afford to pay a dollar a mil? apiece, to be took on and put off in a yawl, a steamboat kin afford to carry 'em, CMl'tit?" Bo they softened down and said it was all right ; and when we got to the village, they yawled us aihore. About two dozen men flocked down, when they see tho yawl a ooming; and when he says — " Kin any of you gentlemen tell me wher Mr. Pater Wilks lives ? " they give a glanoe at one another, and nodded their headp, as muoh as to Pay, "What d' I tell you?" Then one of them eayp, kind of soft and gentle : " I'm sorry, sir, but the best we oan do is to tell you whoro he did live yesterday evening." Sudden us winking, the orney old oretur went all to Hraasb, and fell up agaimt the man, and put his chin on his shoulder and mied down his baok, and says : " Alas, alas I our poor brother— gone, and we never got to soo him ; oh, it'a too, too baid!" ...... . Then he turns around, blubbering, and makes a lot of idiotio signß to tho duke on his hands, and blamed if he didn't drop a oarpetb»g and bust out a-crying. If they vraron't the beatenest lot, them two frauds, *hat ever I struck. Well, tho men gathered around, and sympathised with them, and eaid all sorts of kind

things to them, and carried their oarpet-bvgs up the hill for them, and let them lean on them and cry, and told the king all about his brother's last moments, and the king he told it all over again on his hands to the duke, and both of them took on about that dead tanner like they'd lost the twelve disciples. Well, if ever I struok anything like it I'm a nigger. It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human raoe. The newßwas all over tho town in two minutes, and you could see the people tearing down on the run from every whioh way, some of them putting on their coats as they come. Pretty soon we was in the middle of a crowd, and the noise of the tramping was like a soldiermarch. The windows and door-yards was full ; and every minute somebody would say, over a fence : "Is it them*" And somebody trotting along with the gang would answer baok and say : " You bet it is." When we got to the house, the street in front of it was packed, and the three girls was standing in the door. Mary Jane was redheaded, but that don't make no difference, she was most awful beautiful, and her face and hor eyes was lit up like glory, Bhe was so glad her uncles was oome. The king he spread his arms, and Mary Jane she jumped for them, and the hair-lip jumped for the duke, and there they had it 1 Everybody most, leastways women, cried for joy to see them meet again at laet and have such good times. Then the king he hunohed tho duke, private — I see him do it — and then he looked around and seethe coflin, over in the corner on two chairs; so then, him and the duke, with a hand across each other's shoulder, and t'other hand to their eyes, walked slow and solemn over there, everybody dropping baok to give them room, and all the talk and noise stopping, people Baying " Sh !" and all the men taking their hats off and drooping their headß so you could hear a pin fall. And when they got there, they bent over and looked in the coflin, and took one sight, and then they burst out a crying so you could a heard them to Orleans, most ; and then they put their arms around each other's necks, and hung their chins over each other's shoulders ; and then for three minutes, or maybe lour, I never saw two men leak the way they done. And mind you, everybody was doing the same ; and the place was that damp I never see tho like of it. Then one of them got on one side of the ooflin, and t'other on t'other side, and they kneeled down and rested their foreheads on the ooflin, and let on to pray all to theirselvea. Well, when it come to that, it worked the crowd like you never see anything like it, and so everybody broke down and went to sobbing right out loud — the poor girl?, too; and every woman, nearly, went up to the girls, without saying * word, and kissed them, solemn, on the forehead, and then put their hand on their head, and looked up towards the sky, with the tears running down, and then bustod out and went off sobbing and swabbing, and give the next woman a show. I never see anything so disgusting. Well, by-and-bye the king he gets up and comes forward a little, and works himself up and slobbers out a speech, all full of tears and flapdoodle about its being a sore trial for him and his poor brother to lose the deceased, and to miss seeing deceased alive, after the long journey of four thousand mile, but it's & trial that's sweetened and sanctified to us by thi3 dear sympathy and these holy tears, and so he thanks them out of his heart and out of his brother's heart, because out of their mouths they can't, words boing too weak and cold, and all that kind of rot and slush, till it was just sickening; and then he blubbers out a pious goody-goody Amen, and turns himself loose and goes to crying fit to bust. And the minute the words was out of his mouth somebody over in the crowd struok up the doxolojer, and everybody joined in with all their might, and it just warmed you up and made you feel as good as church letting out. Musio is a good thing; and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully. Then the king begins to work his jaw again, and says how him and his nieces would be glad if a few of the main principal friends of the family would take supper here with them this evening, and help set up with the ashes of the deceased ; and says if his poor brother laying yonder could speak, he knows who he would name, for they was names that was very dear to him, and mentioned often in his letters ; and so he will name the same, to wit, as follows, viz. : — Rev. Mr. Hobson, and Deacon Lot Hovey, and Mr. Ben Rucker, and Abner Shaokleford, and Levi Bell, and Dr. Robinson, and their wives, and the widow Bartley. Rev. Hobson and Dr. Robinson was down to the end of the town, a-hunting together ; that is, I mean the doctor was shipping a sick man to t'other world, and the preacher was pinting him right. Lawyer Bell was away up to Louisville on some business. But the rest was on hand, and so they all come and shook hands with the king and thanked him and talked to him; and then they shook hands with the duke, and didn't say nothing but just kept a-smiling and bobbing their heads like a passel of sapheads whilst he made all sorts of signs with his hands and said — " Goo-goo— goo-goo-goo," all the time, like a baby that oan't talk. So the king he blatted along, and managed to inquire pretty muoh about everybody and dog in town, by his name, and mentioned all sorts of little things that happened one time or another in the town, or to George's family, or to Peter; and he always let on that Peter wrote him the things, but that was a lie, he got every blessed one of them out of that young flathead that we canoed up to the steamboat. Then Mary Jane she fetched tho letter her father left behind, and the king he read it out loud and cried over it. It give tho dwelling-house and three thousand dollars, gold, to the girls ; and it give the tanyard (which was doing a good business), along with some other houses and land (worth about seven thousand), and three thousand dollars in gold to Harvey and William, and told where the six thousand cash was hid, down oellar. So these two frauds said they'd go and fetch it up, and have everything square and above-board ; and told me to come with a oandle. We shut the cellar door behind us, and when they found the bag they spilt it out on tho floor, and it was a lovely sight, all them yaller-boys. My, the way tho king's eyes did shine. He slap 3 the duke on the shoulder, and says : " Oh, this ain't bully, nor noth'n I Oh, no, I reokon not 1 Why, Biljy, it beats the Nonesuoh, don't it?" The duke allowed it didl They pawed the yaller-boys, and sifted them through their fingers and let them jingle down on the floor ; and the king says : "It ain't no use talkin' ; bein' brothers to a rioh dead man, and representatives of f urrin hejrs that's got left, iB the line for you and me, Bilge. Thish-yer oomes of trust'n to Providenoe. It's the best way, in the long run. I've tried 'em all, and ther' ain't no better way." Most everybody would a been satisfied with the pile, and took it on trust ; but no, they must oount it. So they oounts it, and it oomes out four hundred and fifteen dollars short. Says the king : " Dem him, I wonder what he done with that four hundred and fifteen dollars ?" They worried over that a while, and ransaoked all around for it. Then the duke sayi : "Well, he was a pretty sick man, and likely he made mistake— l reokon that's the way of it. The bast ways to let it go, and keep still about it. We oan spare it." " Oh, shucks, we oan spare it. I don't it'yer noth'n 'bout that — its the count I'm thinkin' about. We want to be awful square and open and above-board, here, you know. We want to lug this h-yer money upstairs and oount it before everybody — then ther' ain't noth'n suspicious. But when the dead man says ther's six thous'n dollars, you know, we don't want to " 11 Hold on," says the duko. " Less make

up the deflisit "—and ho begun to haul out yaller-boys out of his pocket. "It's a most amazV good idea, duke— you have got a rattlin' clever head on you," saya the king. "Blest if the old Noneeuch ain't a heppin' us out agin" — and he begun to haul out yaller-jackets and stack them up. It most busted thorn, but they made up tho six thousand clean and clear. " Say," says the duke, " I got another idea. La't go upstairs and count this money, and then take and give it to the girl*." " Good land, duke, lemme hug you 1 It's the most dazzling idea 'as ever a man struck. You have oert'nly got tho most aqtonishiu' head I ever see. Oh, this ia the boss do.lgc, ther' ain't no mistake 'bout it. Let 'em fetch along their suapioious now, if they want to — this'll lay 'em out." When we got up stairs, everybody gathered around the table, and the king he counted it and stacked it up, three hundred dollais in a pile— twenty elegant little piles. Everybody looked hungry at it, and licked their obops. Then they raked it into a bag again, and I peo the king begin to swell himself up for another speech. He says : " Friends all, my poor brother that lays yonder has done peneroua by them that's hii behind in the vale of sorrers. He has done generous by thpso yer poor little lambs that he loved and sheltered, and that's left fatherless and motherless. Y<a, and we that knowed him, knows that he would a done more generous by 'otn if he hada't ben afoard o' wouncliu' his dear William and ma. Now, wouldn't hal Ther' ain't no question 'bout it, in my mind. Well, then— what kind o' brothers would it be, that'd stand in his way at eech a time? And what kind o' unclea would it be that'd rob— yes, rob— aeon poor sweet lambs as these 'afc ho loved so, at sech a time? If I know William— and I think I do _he— well, I'll jest a«k him." He turn* around and begins to make a lot of signs to the duke with bis hands ; and the duke ho looks at him stupid and leather-headed a while, then all of a sudden he scons to or.toh his meaning, and jumps for the king, googooing with all his might for joy, and hugs him about fifteen times before he lets up. Then the king says, " I knowed it ; I reckon that '11 convince anybody the way he feels about it. Here, Mary Jane, Susan, Joanner, take the money— take it all. It's the gift of him that lays yonder, cold but joyful." Mary Jane she went for him, Sanaa and the hare-lip went for the duke, and then suoh another hugging and kissing I never see yet. And everybody orowded up with the tears in Ibeir eyes, and most shook the hands off of them frauds, saying all the time : 41 You dear, good souls I—how1 — how lovely 1 — how could you 1" Well, then, protty soon all hands got to talking about tho diseased again, and how good he was, and what a loss he was, and all that ; and before long a big iron jawed man worked himself in there from outside, and stood a listening and looking, and not saying anything ; and nobody saying anything to him either, beoause the king was talking and they was all busy listening. The king was saying— in the middle of something he'd started in on — " — they bein' partickler friends o' the diseased. That's why they're invited here this evenin'; but to-morrow we want all to cotuo — everybody ; for he respected everybody, ho liked everybody, and so it's fittea that his funeral orgies sh'd be public." And so he went a-mooning on and on, liking to hear himself talk, and every little while he fetohed in his funeral orgies again, till the duke he couldn't stand it no more; so he writes on a little sorap of paper, " obtequies, you old fool," and folds it up and goes to goo-gooing and reaching it over people's heads to him. The king ho reads it, and puts it in his pooket, and says : " Poor William, afflicted as ho is, hia lieart's aluz right. Asks me to iuvite everybody to come to the funeral — wants me to make 'em all welcome. But he needn't a worried — it was just what I was at." Then he weave 3 alone; again, perfectly calm, and goes to dropping in his fuueral orgies again every now and then, juat like he done before. And when he dona it the third time, he says : " I say orgies, not beoause it's the common term, beoause it ain't —obsequies bein' the common term— but becauee orgies is the right term. Obsequies ain't used in England no more, now, it's gone out. Wa Bay orgies now in England. Orgies is better, because it means the thing you're after, more exact. It's a word that'd made up out'n the Greek orgo, outside, open, abroad ; and the Hebrew jeeium, to plant, cover up ; hence inter. So, you see, funeral orgies is an open er publio funeral." He was the worst I ever struck. Well, the iron jawed man he laughed right iv hid face. Everybody was shocked. Everybody says, " Why doctor ! " and Abnor Shackleford says: "Why, Robinson, hain't you heard the news ? This is Harvey Wilks." The king he smiled eager, and shoved out his flapper, and says : "Is it my poor brother's dear good friend and physician ? I " "Keep your hands off of mol" says the doctor. " You talk like an Englishman — don't you ? It's the worse imitation I ever heard. You Peter Wilka' brother. You're a fraud, that's what you are !" Well, how they all took on ! They crowded around the doctor, and tried to quiet him down, and tried to explain to him, and tell him how Harvey'd showed in forty ways that he was Harvey, and knowed everybody by name, and the names of the very dogs, and begged and begged him not to hurt Harvoy'a feelings and the poor girls' feelings, and all that ; but it warn't no use, he stormed right along, and said any man that pretended to be an Englishman and couldn't imitate tho lingo no better than what he did, was a fraud and a liar. The poor girls was hanging to the king and crying ; and all of a sudden the doctor ups and turns on them. He says : " I was your father's friend, and I'm your friend ; and I warn you a* a friend, and an honest one.that wants to proteot you and keep you out of harm and trouble, to turn your backs on that scoundrel, and have nothing to do with him, the ignorant tramp, with his idiotio Greek and Hebrew as he calls it. He is the thinnest kind of an impostor— has come here with a lot of empty names and faots which he has picked up aomewheres, and you take them for prcofs, and are helped to fool yourselves by these foolish friends here, who ought to know better. Mary Jane Wilks, yon know me for your friend, and for your unselfish friend, too. Now listen to me ; turn this pitiful rascal out — I beg you to do it. Will you?" Mary Jane straightened herself up, and my, but she was handsome 1 She eajs : " Here is my answer." She hove up the bag of money and put it in the king's handc, and says, " Thake this six thousand dollars, and invest for me and my sisters any way you want to and don't give us no receipt for it." Then Bhe put her arm around the kiug on one side, and Susan and the harelip done tho same on the other. Everybody olapped their hands and Btompod on the floor like a perfect storm, while the king held up his head and smiled proud. The doctor Bays : " All right, I wash my hands of the mattrr. But I warn you all that a time's coming when you're going to feel sick whenever you think of this day "—and away he went. " All right, doctor," says the king, kinder mooking him, '• we'll try and get 'em to send for you " — which made them all laugh, and they said it was a prime good bit. (To be continued.)