TE AWAMUTU GOSSIP.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2046, 18 August 1885, Page 3

TE AWAMUTU GOSSIP.

Lo( \r topic- "f gos»ip, although numerous are not Jill of them of sufficient importance to claim the attention of the general i pa dor. Thctefoip, I confine myself to such of thorn as m.iy ho said to lose their mere local identity l>y becoming the more general topic of the district. What flourishes most at present in Te Awamutu are " cold«." Eveiybody's got a cold, and, strange as it may appear, the possession of the rheumy tieasure is made known to all, n respective of autocratic tendencies, as regards "lespect of persons." Sensitive symn.xtliy iscoidially leciprocated - -by a sneo/e or " Dear mo !"' Tlie foimer, though rude, is the true symnathy of human nature, the latter that of polite conventionalism, and the last must be the beat, for the quaint, kind old manners of a former age are scouted now aa unscientific. Of com se theie are degiees of colds. There can lie no affinity between the gentle, tuneful, behind-hand coughing coo of feminine cherry lips 'and the hoarse, expectorating cough of haii -covered masculine labials, which screen not the treasure they po,*ess, but liberally apportion it gratuitously. .Sometimes a person coughs until he can cough no longer, and then is carefnilv planted, ticketed with this "down east "' epitaph : It was a cough That carried .him off ; It was a coffin They carried him off in. That's all about colds. Homo persons here who ought to know better have peculiar ideas concerning" the pronouns "inpum et f .uum." They believe as much in r. peisonnl possession of "tuum" as they religiously and unchallengedly do in "ineum, ' and though fully alive to their interest in " nieuin," they often forget in thnir nlwnt-mindedness to lender unto " tuum the due that i> it*. The old-time, load-encioaching hedges nrc being hewn down and cast into the hie, and this place, though losing much of its romantic verdancy, is assuming a "goahead barbed wire appeal ance " of practical advance. The pioposcd Mangapiko iron lattice bridge was too luxuriantly fanciful for the distiict, so epicurian desne liad to satisfy itself with a good stiong wooden one, which, so the contractor infouned me, will bo ready foi tiafiic in about a fortnight. The local railway woiks are piogiessing gently. The gentleness of their progiess is dee to the broken state of the weather, which puts .1 damper on cveiything, even on tumpeis and makes people crabbed. The conti actor foi the I'orotorau tunnel, Mr .T. J. OBrien, was up heie the other day to, I undei -stand, ai range about subcontracts re road.s, brick making, carting, kc. The way the wool is packed down on horses and back-loading taken up country in other parts of New Zealand, impresses me with the idea, that is, if the material to bo carried, and which can only be packed, can be divided into pack -loads, that the conveyance of material to the site of the tunnel is not such a huge matter of doubtful thoughtassoniepeopleseemtomake it. Only two things are necessary for the successful accomplishment of the "delivery of material " job, and they are, " cash" and " brains "—cash, becauso cash is always required : biains, to lightly and economically apply the cash to the successful issue of the end in view. The chairman of tho town board linn telegraphed to Mr X Lake, M.H.R. uiging that a sum should be put on the estimates to open roads in the King Country to facilitate traffic caused by the making of railway-". A lectnie on "Success," in aid of the \[anse Fund, is to be given here on the 27th mst. Nothing succeeds like success ; therefore, a lecture on '' Success" mus-t be successful. If the deduction should in the mutable course of everyday life not orne out Q E. 1)., I know a fVllow who would, if allowed, give a "chirrup" on " Failure," with a tine local, practical illustration. Anyhow, my friend", I strongly recommend you all to attend the lecture, for its high standaid of excellency is guaranteed by the name of the rev. gentleman who gives it. I have di awn attention to it in my way; if my way is not your way, surely no harm can be done, for you can »till exercise your pleasure by "ganging yourain." On Tliiusday next, the 20th inst., the Sibley complimentary entertainment takes place It is to bo hoped tho weather will be hue. Heartily wishing success to the affair, I sup:>licatingly petition the "clerk of the weathei " in my sweetest " howl ": — Admiial, please, Command each breeze T" kiss auay All te n ful trace From Nature's face, And make her gay. If she must weep, Please let her greet Some other day. The programme of performance will be somewhat as follows : — A "bouquet of Hongs ' by luly and gentlemen amateurs, with a beautiful centre flower of " martial recitation." A "screaming farce," which tho medical faculty frown upon for its serious interference with the salo of pills, and potions. Its ingredients ar« mirth and fun, which produce laughter, and laughter is fattening, and to fatten is to thrive, and those who thrive need no medicine, therefore I say unto all, " Come and thrive." Then a " ball " to be ever after known as Ta Awamntu'H grandest affair. And then refreshments will be provided by the matronly ladies of the land a* they have never been provided before ; for I can assure you the exceedingly kind and prompt manner in which solicitations to assist have been answred warrant my saying that I firmly believe Mr Sibley to be at present the most popular man in the district, and in the event of anothei election, he ha* only to trot us a, candidate to win in a canter. Hamilton, Cambiidce, Ohaupo, Paternngi, Alexandra, Kihikihi, Rangiaohia, and Te Awamutu, vie with each other in sending forth their " talent and beauty " to do him honour. The cavalry band yvill muster in full forco to support the bandmaster. Tho cavalry are sure to support the band they are so proud of. The band has, times out of number, delighted the peopl* of Upper Waikato, and they are sure to acknowledge that repeated delight by supporting a coinphmcntaiy benefit given to a man who so thoroughly deserves it. It is anticipated that very few tickets mil be returned as unsold. The new buildings are nearly finished, and will soon be in a st ite to write about. Wet and slush abound everywhere and chilliness prevails. Biu\.

lh(* demand for the gre?t Amenran remedy Hop Hitter*, in (Ins part of the world has become so great that the Hop Hitters Co , whose headquarters arc at Rochester, New York, U.S A , have been compelled to open a laboratory in Melbourne. It is in charge of Mr M. H. Van Itargh, a gentleman of several years experience with this Company and the trade rray be assured of receiving good* equal to the parent home, and the most courteous treatment. The H H. Co. ha\c establishment* at London, Pans, Antwrrp, HHtfiun), Hredj, Holland and loronto, and their American Hitters are probably the best known medicine in the world.