TE AWAMUTU GOSSIP.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2038, 30 July 1885, Page 3

TE AWAMUTU GOSSIP.

Tk Awamltu may be likened unto Mark Twain's jumping fiog. It, like the jfrosr, possesses all thnso promising appeal ances which world inspire a man to gleefully back its jumping capabilities to the extent of his "bottom dollar." His venture would be safe, even unto a moral, if party feeling, jealousy, pique, inconsistency and all those other impel icction^, which by the fact of their presence delineate moie glaringly the fa!«en("<hofthesecminsrpoifi clum they strain, and gio.m and bund ti> support, wereieinoved They nic to To Awamutu wh.it the load was to the " shotted " frog— a, dead weight th.it only lacks the corporation in its spasmodic attempts to rise with it. The frog was iehc\ed of its burden by being held up by one of its liind legs and its belly-full of shot allowed to dubble out of its mouth. When set upon the floor again the way that iebo\od frog jumped was sui prising to behold. But how to relie\o Te Awamutu puz/les me. She is making mighty efforts to jump forward, but eaciP effoit, although an appaient success, upon consideration becomes a letiogiading movoment. It is no use tak'iig her up by her hind leg and ichcvmg lier in tho same manner as tho frog was relie\ed, for she tightens her lips, clenches her teeth and becomes red m tho stubbornness of her ,selfunpoitance. Although Te Awamutu is beautiful and proud, her pride lacks nobleness and is merely a lustre of self coineit. Being herself only human, she yet assumes attributes mo«t divine, ignoring altogether the possibility that it is in her humanity to err. She carries on her bieat tho caution board " Beware," but often in her folly flops into tho dangerous place she wains against herself. She is jealous of a shadow, for often the object of her jealousy is as mystical as a cliaractoi of the (Jrecian mythology. She neaily chokes heiself with gnats, but with boa-consti ictor like apititudc swallows diomedaiies with a smile. She affects open " bide " to vvithdi aw attention fiom other "side" not so open. Her perfection is maimed by imperfection ; her goodness by ostentation ; her beauty by affectation ; her kindness by pationago; her courteousness by mdilference; her candour by doubt ; her praise by jealously ; and although there is much to applaud in her public chaiacter, there is also much to deploie in it. Of course, I wish it to be undcifctood, in the above allegory a have likened Te Awamutu to a public and not to a private frop, for I only recognise public matters as bolonging to the piovince of my gossip. Fiee Tiade v. Protection is stuff and nonsense. Free trading and protection to debtoi .s would meet with public appioval. The diy facts concerning Ameiican millions oveipowera man. It is like killing him vv ith a bar of gold, and it hurts just tho same as one of iron. Let the disciples of fiee trade or protection localise their argument, and take up a branch of it th.it suits the AVaikato, and we will gladly listen to them, but we are getting old and sleepy, and object to travel all over the woild, follow ing the lead of their aigunients, whuh only make us dissatisfied with thn piesent state of things without bettering them. I vote for fiee tiade, <i cluu hold and no favour. Local iudustiics must fight then way. If they aie sickly, they die; if protected, like piotected schoolboy, they lose self-ieliance, and look foi piotection to tho end. I hope no w liter whose " f.id " I have hustled will lise up in his might and ciush me. If he attempts I claim protection, which, if tiue to his piinciples, he is bound to allow. Theie, I'm done, as the beefhteak said to the cook. The hi ewer and hotelkeepers have been engaged in a battle, which, to me, might have been better settled by the consumption of some of the liquid otrject of leeumination, that is to say, " beeis all round." The present local mania is fruit tree planting. A sale took place heie on Saturday, when eveiy tiee was sold. The Siblev enteitainnient piomises to bo a gi eat Micce-*-!, foi none lefuse to support it, no ! not one. Bin.V.