Fun.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2036, 25 July 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

Fun.

Old Liner — "We had a capital puppor. Tommy, but I wasn't hungry and told (he waiter to bring me the nmvngs." Tommy— " But that isn't the way to pronounce ui-e-r-i-n-g-u-e-a." Old Liner— " Pabably not, bat it's the way to get "em."— Ex. The dress coat U generally wnrn by tho groom at tho city weduinp j " but for nn < lopoment," saya the Boston Transcript, " there's nothing like the cMu<vfty." Oa euoh oocatiom the bride should be, and frequently i*. provided with a pull-bnck.— Nurrnlown Herald. Wr notice that the Tribune speaks of th^so destroyers of property as •« Dynamiteurs." This is a better word than the others we are aocustomed to use. Dynamiter ia too American, The profession of the dynamiteur is one which the beau viorulc delight in following, and tin eleg-mco of this new term fills an aching void in our language. Wo congratulate that able editenr, Mtateur Wbitleur lieid, upon the dieoovory of thia loug and eagerly l'oked-feur weurd.— Life. Hk oalledfor gin, and in a ci'lin, unsmbarrasaed rort of way, filled his glas3 to the brim. "See here # ray friend," rxpobtulated tho bartender, " That is gin you nro pouring out, not water." The cuttomcr eyed him n-bukr.fully over the top of tho glass, aa ho slowly drained the contents. " Mister," he said, in a hurt tone of voioe, " do I look like a man who would drink that much water ? '—Neio York Tirnet, Why are birds melancholy in Ihe morning ? Because their litila bills are mil over dew. — Audubon. " Paper bricks" ara ipoken of in America ; we have thousands of 'era here— subscribers to. this journal who pay in advanoe, and they all do it. As a protection against cold, a newspaper worn across the chest is recommended. Thosa who have had a newspaper warming can testi. fy to its thoroughness. An lowa editor has branded his eontompor. ary as a "mangy dog-a disgrace to his own fleas." m " Pa," asked young Johnnie Jarphly, •« what is a defaulter ?" "Ho is a man who losefl money that doea not belong to him. my son " replied Mr. Jarphly. " Andwhatisafmanoipr?" •'One who hangs to it."— Pituburg Chronicle. A citizen, who had been ploying poker the mght before, dropped a blue ohip into the contribution-box by a mistake. After iervioa hewenttothadeaoon who had passed the plate and told him of tho mistake. " So 1"11 iusfc give you a dollar in its plaoe," he said, •' an<i we 11 keep tho mattor quiet." " No you don't" replied the deaoon, ignoring the money offered; " that's a blue chip— it's worth five dollars."— New York Sun.

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