A TYPOGRAPHICAL TALE.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 2019, 16 June 1885, Page 4

A TYPOGRAPHICAL TALE.

Junt three roars ago th > Boston Globr ntaited on his tiarels ati Arab donke\ dm it, who has Muc'e met w ith a Heries of suipiising adventuien, some of which have been topographically described l>y thr ({lobe's contemporaries in various parts of tin' country. As will ln> seen hv the following, the Arab lias Htnppcd travelling : — An Ai.ilt e\ine to the liver tide With a donkey boa ring an obelisk ; Hut h>' would not try to foid tho tide, For ho had too go >d an *. —Boston Globe, ISHI. So lv> cunped by th<» ri\er ceaM-d £And lemained till the fcide had ceased to swell, For hi- knew, should the donkey from life subside, He ne\ei should find its . —Salem Sunbeam. When morning dawned and the tide was out, Tho pair ciossed o\or 'neath Allah's piotection, And tho Aiab was happ>, we ha\o no doubt, For he had tho best donkey in all that §. — Snniemllo Journal. That donkey was scon by some Yankee man, Who raided his \oice and loud did holler, " How much you'll take for that ere beast In gold or sil\ it or paper S?" — Detroit Free Press. The Arab knew, when the man said " ere," He belonged to the dickering Yankoo nation: And beheung Yankees never nwapped fair, He paid no heed to the ?. — Globe. But soon he spied a Texas chap Who wore long hair and had a nwagger : " Look here, pard, I want that beast,' And m the Arab he stuck his +. — New Bedford Newn. As fortune would hm c it the + glanced Or it might ha\e made tho Arab croak, And, seizing the obelisk, the latter chanced To make on the To\an a fatal . —Brooklyn Chronicle. So tho n-i was .saved, and the obelisk too, And homeward the Arab made Ins way. To Allah Ins thanks he v.we anew, Th.it .v . had come to the hapless fray. — Detroit Free Press, June, 1882. Soon they leached their journey's end, The mule was frisky under the lash, And while the girls looked brightly on The mule and master cut a . — Philadelphia Evening News. Vnd v hen the man got off the mule, He looked so charming and so giand, Each girl a leap year pn\ ilege took, And begged him to accept her Xdr. — Monthly Union. He thought he'd like to mairy them all, And Minled on them with an artless giace, The-\ made a nish for the haughty nnn, And he caught them all in an M . —Boston Star. The caliph said he loved too well, And embraced so much he de>er\ed tho iod, So befoie the shades of evening fell. The Arab and ass were safe '"^*""T—Boston (ilobe, 18S1. And now the stoiy has crossed the sea, Let some gie.it mind construct the sequel: Foi Miie we aie, as Miie em be, That twill be lmd to hud its

Is the Ainiy and Navy Stores Chcular there is a charming advci tisement. "Tw o ladies, one of whom lias had great success in the artificial hatching and rearing of chickens, wish to meet with a retired ollicei to join them cither as a boaider or in the management of the poultry. . . . Lai go tennis and other lawns, good cooking, &c." The Lost Provinces. — Although 1"> years have elapsed since Alsace and Lorraine passed from under the Ficnoh flag to that of Germany, both the pro\ inecs appear to be as irreconcileable as ever w ith the rule of their new masters. And the feeling is said to be much stronger in Alsace, wheic most of the people nave German names and faces and speak Gel man, than in Lorraine, whcie French names and tongues are the rule. Year after year both pio\inccs send Protestant, i.e., piotesting, representatives to the Reichbtag, and the alienation of the people from their rulers is in no wise lessened l>y lapse of tune. Unfortunately for Germany, neither the military nor the civil oiheials do anything to conciliate the population, and their conduct is described as harsh and stern to the last degree. The result is, we arc told, that "there are everywhere cold faces, formal yeas and nay:, and closed doors for the officials and the immigrant Germans." Dl-ThKIOKATIOX OF HI'MAV Eyi-MGHT. — An American newspaper, animadverting upon the fact established by medical science, that the human \ ision, in Western Europe at any rate, has steadily deteriorated during tin* last ~>o jcars, and that tins decay of eyesight is pi ogres sive, argues, half in jest and half in earnest, that civilised man will be totally blind at the end of another century. " This will, of course, mean his extinction," obseivcs the writer, " for the uncivilised races, led by dozens of Mahdis of ditFeient viriclics, will ovir run Europe and America, and will find no difficulty in driv ing the blind man into the sea. It would not, perhaps, make much difference if English statesmen and English generals should be physically as well .is mentally blind, but an army of blind soldiers would be completely helpless, and could offer no re^istannce to horde!) of keen-sighted Aiabs or Chinamen." On April Oth, Mi Y. Bradlaugh, M.P., was present at a meeting, held under the auspices of the Peck ham Radical Club, and delivered an addi ess on the subject of "Army Mismanagement in Egypt" Mr L. Ghose presided. Mr C. Uradlaugh, M P., who was received with »p plauso, m the course of his address, said he supposed the most of his hearcis took some soi t of intere-t in the army, and the estimates appertaining to it. Several of them, however, might not be aware that, not including India, our nimy, on a peace footing, co^t some £17, 110,320 per annum. He would not at present discuss the question as to whether wai ought, or ought not, to have been made, or to have taken place. At best, war was an evil. He proposed to deal with the question in this manner : If theie must be war, we ought to consider the health, comfort, and happiness of those who light for us— our soldiers — and take caie that our soldicis shall receive what the nation pays tow aids their comfort and well being. The lion, member then proceeded at gteat length to piove his allegations that our tioops weie not pio pcrly provided for, and was throughout i applauded.

The Bad and Worthless arc never iiintutn? or count n fatal. This is especially true of a f.unily medicine, and it is positive proof that the remedy imi/trft'/ is of the highest \alue. As soon as it had boon tested and proved by the whole woild that Hop Bitters was the pmest, best and the most ralu.ihlc family medicine on earth, many imitations sprung up and began to steal the notices in winch the picas and the people of thu country had expressed the inciits of 11. 8., and in every way trying to induce buffering invalids to use their stuft in»tead, expecting to make money on the credit and good name of H. B. Many others starttd nostrums put up in similar style to H. 8., with vat lously devised names in which the word " Hop" or " Hops" were used in a way to induce people to believe they were the same as Hop Bitters. All such pretended remedies or cures, no matter what their style or name is and especially those with the woid " Hop" or " Hops" 111 their name 01 in any wny con neetcd with them or their name, are imitations or counterfeits. Beware of them. r l ouch none of them. Use no thirnj bnt genuine American Hop Bitten, with a cluster of preen Hops on the white Libel, and Dr Sonle's name blown in the glass. Trust nothing else. Druggists and Chemists are warned against dealing in imitations or counterfeits,