THE LAWYER'S STRATAGEM

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 2014, 4 June 1885, Page 4

THE LAWYER'S STRATAGEM

" Yon shan't ha\c my daughter ?" said old Feliv Foster, bringing his fist down on the table with a ciash. " There's nc use talking young man. You ahant ha\e her ! ' " At least you'll toll mo why," insisted Rabbit Bloom, the young l.iw}er's clerk, who had just made application for the hand of the old gentleman's only daughter. " What do you know against ire &ir ?"' " For the matter of that, nothing in particular," replied old Felix Foster. " But I'm a solid man myself. I have made money, and I want to lay that money in a waim nest. Now, if I give my gu 1 to a poor follow like you, w hen she comes in for what I'll lea\e hei you'll spend it, instead of doubling it. Besides, you're too young— not six-and- twenty. And theie's my old friend, Frisby, fiveand fifty, owns his block of houses and a hundred-acre farm, factory, and forty workmen's cottages. You ought to have sense enough to see that he is tho man for Agatha, not you, " " But if Agatha likes me host," pleaded young Bloom. " Stuff and nonsense ! She'll like who I tell her to," replied Mr Foster, whose grammar was not his strong point. " Aud as I've an appointment at two, I'll say goodbye to you, joung man." At this hint Mr Bloom bowed himself out of the great contractor's oflico. He intended to have Agatha Foster. He did not cite for her foitune, but he knew she hated the suitor whom hor father favoured. " Elope with me, Agatha," he pleaded — not on his knees, because that stylo of wooing is quite out of fashion, bnt under the side window of her father's house before that gentleman came in to tea. "Elope with trie. We arej both of age. Let us defy everybody." " I suppose pa would come round fn time," said Agatha ; " but I can't go without my things. I have a very nice waulrobe and lots of jewellryand things : and I want to be married decently, and have an expressman take away my clothes ; bnt how can I do it, when all day long, from the time pa goes ont, old John Davids, his watchman, aits on the fiont btoop, pledged to lock me up in my own room if I set foot outside the door, and to let no one in ? There all day, and on the hall all night, immovably on guard." "Is he?" said the lawyer's clerk, sarcastically, as at a signal from his lady love lie kis«ed his h.uul and ran away. " Mind \ou, Davids," said Felix Foster, as he buttoned his overcoat hi the hull — "mind you ; don't desert your post. No going out, and no coining in. That girl of mine has no mothri, and I've got to hv both parents to her. Don't let so much as a letter be carried in at the door." " No, your honour ; not whilst I'm alive," said Davids. But, alas ! \\ ho can calculate upon circumstaneis. The late Widow Bedott was right about that. Solemn James Davids, sitting all day in the hall chaii with a club in 1 i; hand, the object of the detestation of all the female servants, opened the door on a crack to all applicants, slipping letteis into his own pockets, and keeping the hou c c free from intruders, thought himself invulneiable ; but his weak spot had been discoveicd b\ his enemy It wasa bid boy. At five o'clock a l ing came to tho door, which answering, he found no one there. Another and another followed. "It's a boy as runs and hides himself," Davids, peering up and down the stiect, "The next ring I'll catch him, and he waited with his back against the door, and his club grasped m both hands. The ring came ; out bolted l).x\ ids ; down the street ; peered into areas ; peeped round the corner ; found no boy, and was about to leturn to the house, when a man caut'ht his coat collar. " Help ?" roared a voice. " Help ! Thieves ! Police !" 14 Let me be," shouted Davids. " What do you catch hold of me for ?" " You've got my pocket book," cried the young man. "If you haven't you've thrown it away. I missed it as you ran past me. Olhcer "— this to a policeman who had speeddy anned — " I want this man ai rested. I'\e lost my pocket book.' 1 And so, amid his protestations, prayers and cries, that respectable old person James Davids was pushed, pulled and diagsjed to the neatest station house, followed by a ciowd of ragamuffins, aud there locked up for the night. And that young man who had lost his pocket book, and who was to appear against him the next morning, looked suspiciously like the \ oung Kiwj er's clerk, Rabbit Bloom, who of course knew that one against w hom a charge was, made must be arrested, even if he was able to prove himself entirely innocent next day. And who came to the door in a coupe half an hour after but this same young Bloom ; and who got into it but Agatha Foster ; and where did they drive but to the ministci's, wheie they were manifd, And Betsy Jane, and Saiah, and Ellen Maria all helped to oarrj dow n the trunks, bags and parcels with which the express waggon, that came \eiy soon after the coupo, was heavily lnidcd, fo that when, at seven o'clock, old Mr Foster rung at his own bell, Betsy Jane opened the door, meek faced and tidy, while nil the other servants listened at the foot of the kitchen staiis. " \\ here s Davids ?" asked Mr Foster. " Please, sir, a policemen anested him awhile ago for picking a gentleman's pocket," said Betsy, " Davids pick a pocket ! Nonsense ! He never did it !" roaied Mr Foster. " No, sir. I suppose not, please, sir," [ said Bet*.)'. "And where's Miss Agatha ?" asked Mr Foster. " frone to fetcli a ride, sir.'" "What?" "Oone a riding, sii." "Where? Who with?" " Please, sir, I don't know where. With a real nice young gentlcmaiy with black moustaches, sii," replied Betsy, demurely. For an hour or two the neighbours all wondered what luul happened in at Foster's, and cook said she wondered the l oof did not fall in, for she never lieaid such language. Ami the return of Davids, with his account of false arrest and linpiisonment, did not mend matters. But Agatha was right after all. In a few months the old gentleman felt that he could not do without his girJ, and finally wiote her a letter which le-estab-lished the happiness of the family. Today tho young lawyet'a htratngem and his method of getting old Davids out of the way is considered an excellent joko by Ins worthy father-in law.

Trn: Key. Dr. Henson h noted for hia icady wit, and we are not surprised that his sorioua .sayings should sometimes be mistaken for jokes. Hut it seems hit peculiar penmanship, like his solemnities, cxpobei him to misapprehension. The last illustration of tlu3 is furnished by the Standard. He has been detained out of the city and telegraphed : "Trains delayed. Head Colossians ii. 5." This the telegraph operator rendeied : "Trams delayed. Kead Collisions. Two fires." A Beautiful Painting. Mr G. 0. Giccn, of Woodbury, New Jtieey, U.S.A., is presenting to dtuggi^ta and others in this country some vety tina pietmes in oil of his magnificent house and gioundb and laboratory at that place. MrGieenis the proprietor of Bosclioe's German Syrup and Green's August Flow oi, two veiy valuable medicines, winch arc meeting with gicat fa\our, the first as a remedy for Pulmonary complaints, and the latter for Dyspepsia and disorders of the Liver. These pieparations have attained an immense sale solely on their supeiior merits and are sold by all duiggists thioughont the woild. The pi ice is the same for each, .'{■» (Jd per bottle, or sample bottles for Gd. The sample bottles enable ouftertra to prore their valne at A trifling cost,