CLIPPINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 2007, 19 May 1885, Page 4

CLIPPINGS.

HJJ"]/' » fi7uj<\ t <]/ . i,u. - :. Tin: early-rising j catches the kindlings. Rattu^wUm to, know what iBa " full dross"' rehearsal iiy the ballet ? Tiik mosquito as a public singer draws \wll, but never gives satisfaction. ' It is said that wheu i man lies, the de\d laughs. How the old fellow's sides mint ache. Tut: New York "Sun" estimates the number of unemployed in New Yoik city at 100,000, " Wuvr is the boundary that separates ,i smile from a tear?" "Give it up.' " The uose." A BdddiiinT temple has been opened in Paiis, .md the officiating cleigym.ui is a puesf fiom Coylon. TllhY say you can't freeze a cat. But then you cau try the other extreme, and make it hot for him. A NmmsKA nun refused to marry a girl because she powdered He could't let himself down to her pale. Anaxivs has a very bad reputation, but it can bo said to his credit tint he never wrote a circus circular. " Does year Uape notluu' but dry good* here?" "No, ma-am." "Thin wheio will I be afther goin' for a watered silk ?" Tiik sluggard is invited to goto the ant, but in nine case 3 out of ten lie goes to the "uncle." Have you e\er been there ! A Dknv i,n p ipei asks if handsome men are conceited. Some aie and some are not ; we arc not, but homely men are, without exception. Ax An/ona undertaker, the Tribune says, advertises —"All remains entiusted to me will bo treated in the highest style of art " .ii*. Husband : "Mary, has the dog been at this meat?" Wife : "No, dear ; I carved when you were away yesteulay." A Wyoming man, named James Agon, was recently married. A few weeks later ho petitioned the court to add a "y to his lust name.— Graphic. I UNDKRSTA.ND that a policeman was in jilted at the fire." " How did that happen? What was he there for? I believe ho was trying to arrest the flames." •!..*■ Tiik.be is a little item in the foreign telegiams, says the " Pall Mall Budget, recently, which the Macaulay of the next generation will work up into his description of the all-pervading power and influence of the Church of Rome. The Church is taking active measures, it seems, for co-opi-iating with the Italian Government on the Red Sea. Not onh have the congregation of the Propaganda and the dilleient oiders sent out missionaries, but the Italian Geneial has been supplied l iv one of the ordeis with a mop of Abyssinia and a part of the Red Sea coast, on which the distances are marked, and the roads, by-ways, wooded lands, desei ts, and places where w ater is to be found, carefully indicated This map was made from measurements and ob servatioris taken on the spot for the use of the order, which has a number of affiliated members, natives of the Soudan, resident there, and consequently well Acquainted with the language, manners, and customs of the country. Tina cooperation between the spiritual and temporal Governments is the more remarkaMe when one remembers that the former pretends to be a prisoner in the power of the latter. Through the body's prison bars Dante's soul possessed the sun and stars ; the pope from his prison in the Vatican takes measurements and observations of every quarter of the globe. It is a very old taunt that theie is no one like your full blown Republican for a lose of titles. Even Americans are no exception. They are indeed superior enough to titles of nobility, but then they make up for it by excessive partiality for titles of learning. It seems from a list compiled by a writer in the "North American Review" that theie are ten different "doctors'" degrees, six " Mas^ tors'." and twenty-two "B>"hclors"' The letter "M A." do not ar*ue very high attainments in England, but in Arne rica they mean still loss, since they may stand cither for "Master of Aits" or "Master of Accounts," just as "P.A" may mean either " Bachelor of Agricnlture" or Bachelor of Arts." Even the venerable letters " D.D." may be a little misleading in the States, where gentlemen have passed for eminent divines on the strength of being " Doctorsof Dentistry." As for the title "professor," we know something of what that may mean in Eugland, for has not Mr Matthew Arnold told us how in the old days when he held the chair of poetry at Oxford he was "always shy of assuming the honourable style of professor, because he shared it with so many distinguUhed men — Professor Pepper, for instance, Professor Anderson. Professor Frikel, and others —who adorned it, he felt, much more than he did." ? A Clfkgyman' ov New Zealand. — The London correspondent of the Lyttelton Times states that the- Rev. W. A G. Macpherson, writing from Duntroon, Oamaru, to the Northern Chronicle, published at Inverness, says:— "The Euiopcans, as a rule, are very degraded •xnd godless. They seem to undergo a change for the worse when they cross the mystic 'line' Why it is so, I do not know, but certainly it is only too true \ great many of them develop into infidc Is, and cense to believe in anything beyond this present life " And again :—: — " The. most generic type of religiosity in this land is a sort of dogmatic pharisaicistn that develops after the fashion of the sanctimonous whining ilk. Substract that factor from the spheres of religion md moial". and you behold the giunt face of unmitieated selfishness." Making allowance for the writer's being intoxicated with the exuberance of hia ow n veibosity (adds the correspondent), tins is rather rough on colonists, among whom the Roy. Mr Macpherson stands in honourable contrast for his self-sacrifice, for he says : — " My work out here is truly a labour of love. I have taken no salary or emoluments of any kind, and I B,'ive my time and labour for nothing ' It is needless to say (continues the writer) that after this tirade against the colonists Mr Macpherson sends round the hat for "planting the cross of the Great Redeemer in this God forsaken land ;" though it is difficult to see what the money is required for seeing that the reverend gentleman lives without salary or emoluments of any kind. " I will thank you, therefore," he says to tl>e editor, "to open a subscription fund in the columns of the Chronicle." American Co's Hop Bitters are the Purest and Best Bitters Ever Made. They arc compounded fiom Hops, Malt, Buchu, Mandrake, and Dandelion, the oldest, best, and the most valuable medicines m the world and contain all the best and most curative properties of all other remedies, being the greatest B'ood Purifier, Livtr Regulator, and Life and Health Restoring Agent on earth No disease or ill health can possible long exist where they arc used, so varied and perfect are their operations. Theygixe now life and vigor to the aged and infirm. To all whose employments cause irregulaiity of the bowels or uiinary oigans, or who require an Appetizer, Tonic and mild Stimulant AmeiicanCo'a Hop Bitters are invaluable beiti" highly curative, tonic and stimulating, without intoxicating. No matter what your feelings or symptoms are, what the disease or ailment is use Hop Bitters. Don't wait until you are sick, but if you only feel bad or miserable, use Hop Bitteis at once. It may save your life. Hundreds have been saved by so doing. £.100 will be paid for a case they will not cure oi help. Do not suffer or let your friends suffer, but useanduige them to use Ameiican Hop Bitters. Remember, American Hop Bitters is no vile, drugged, druukeu nostrum, but the Putcst and Bet Medicine ever made. Try the Bitters to-day. Get at Chemists or Druggists. Beware of imitations, •enuine has Dr Soulc's name blown in bottle, J

. Proctor, the astronomer, is the author of a new work on whist, just published m England. (■Jicoi'hK, who has htely joined the militia, practising in his shop. "Right left, light, left. Four paces to the rear; inarch !" — falls clown trap door into the cellar. Giocet's wife, anxiously: "Oh, .Inn, are you hurt?' 1 Grocer, savagely, hut with dignity: "Go away, nonmn ; w hat do jou know about war?" Wiur to him was love or hope? What to him was joy or care? He "stepped on a pint; of mottled soap the had left on the topmost stair, and Ins feet flew out like wild fieice wings, and he stiuck each stair with a sound like a diuin, and the gnl below with the scrubbing things laughed like a fiead to see him uome. Col. VALbTiNh Baker — Many friends of a distingwsned officer who has on many battlefields given proof both of his science and bia'veiy, will regret to learn that Colonel Valentine Baker, who about a month ago lost his daughter fiom the i uiults ot typhoid fever, after long and weaiy watching, has now suffered a fuithei calamity in the death of his wife fiom the same terrible disease. Mri Baker liad been to him a mott devoted companion, and nobly stood by her husband in his time of greatest distress and obloquy. Colonel Baker, who is (pit te overcome by his affliction, is now on his road to England, bringing home Ins reumnmg child, who ia only sixteen. She also has had the fever, but has so far rccoveied AMedicvi, Sttdknt aobd Seventyfour — A Berlin correspondent writes to a contempoiary :—": — " It is not often that one hears of a student of the age of seventy-four taking a degree at a university. The ' bemoostes Haupt ' n sometimes to be seen at German universities, but he is generally a man who has spent his best years in idleness. The Nestor of the Beili n students to whom I now refer has been studying at Berlin since 1881, and has just taken a degree as Doctor of Medicine. The Professors addressed him as ' Worthy Colleague,' the students as ' L'ap.iUin ' In 1833 he was matriculated at Berlin, and studied theology till 1837, and spent his time from then till 1881 as a missionary in South Afiica. It hail been his wish all his life to study medicine, but pecuniary difficulties stood in his way. Now that he has passed his examination, having worked with all the fo.il of a young student, he is going to return to Africa where he will practice medicine." The Lvtk Mai>vmr Saivto.v Dolby. — Poor Madame Samton-Dolby : few people will be ns long and <is binccrely mourned a-5 she will be by everyone who has ever had the honour and pleasure of knowi'ig hei ; her charming smile, and delightful conversation, and excellent advice being lemembered by all who ever came in con tact with her. It seems only yesteiday she was laughing about the way m which her maiden name was retained long after Mie was married, and her smile was pleasant as she said, " I really must insist on being called Madame Sainton !" One day, at the Handel Festival, ot all places in the wot Id, a whole tube of girls rushed up to her and called out, "Oh ' Miss Dolby, dear ;oh ! tell us how jour darling baby is." Now this darling baby of hers is a \ery rising artist, and will not unlikely take an excellent place on the Academy walls at no distant date ; in f act, he showed distinct talent as a child, and it was owing to some of his early drawings being shown to Mr Frith, R. A.., that his piesent career was detei mined on, for Mr Frith saw evidences then of the taste and skill that are rapidly bringing Air Charles Sainton to the front. "NAMINO" OF A MEMBER IV THF. Holsk OF Commons. — There was a great scene, on Tuesday night, Feb. 24 (says the Spectator) when Mr Gladstone moved that the adjourned debate on the vole of censure should take precedence of private membeis' motions Mr Redmond noisily prote&ted that he had <t motion concerning the tyrannical dismissal of DistrictIn u pector Murphy, of the Irish Constabulary, by the Government of Lord Spencer, from motives of revenge, and was three times called to order foi speaking, not on the question of the precedence to be accorded to the Voto of Censure, but on the details of the matter w hich he wished to biing forward. The Prime Minister oflered to provide a pioper occasion for the discussion before long, and pointed out that the Irish Secretary was absent ; but Mr Sexton said he attached no importance to the absence of the Irish Secretary. Mr 0 Brien said the oSer of the Prime Minister was illusory ; Mr \V. Kedmnud, who was stepped by the Speaker for referring to Dublin Castle, told the Speaker lie was glad to hear that the question of Dublin Castle was irrelevant ; and after this kind of wrangle had gone on for some time, the Speaker declared that it was the evident sense of the House that the motion should be now put, whereupon Mr OBrien noisily exclaimed " Will you remember this in Ireland." The Speaker whereupon named Mr OBrien, and Mr Gladstone moved that Mi OBrien be suspended fiom the aeivice of the House; whcieupon Mr O'Buen sailed out, "It is the only honour I have any ambition for." When Mr OBrien had been suspended by a vote of '244 to '2o, the Speaker directed him to withdraw, Mr OBrien complying, with the remark. "I will leave the House, Sir, with far more pleasiue than I ever enteied it." GkRMW CoiO\IsATI«N IV EvsTKRN Africa. — The tenitory situated to the west of Zanzibar, comprising 2r>oo square miles, which has been acquiied by die Fast African expedition of the Geiman Colonisation Society, has been placed by Impel ial letters, dated Feb. '27, under the protection ahd sovereignty of tliu Empeior. The exercise of jurisdiction in that region has been entrusted to an oibcial of the Society, who will be subject to the control of the Imperial ConsulGeneral at Zanzibar. A German Kast Africau Society has been foimed for the administration and working of the colony. The Imperial charter, telegraphs the Berlin correspondent of the Times, will be anything but pleasant reading to the Aft ican Lakes Company, of Glasgow, which aims at exploiting the regions between the east coast of Africa and the Tanganyika, and which sent a representative to Builin during the sittings of the iate Conference to pull the strings of its interests as beat lie might. " I have reason to believe that the African Lakes Company had been endeavouring to induce the British Government to extend its protection to it in the regions in which it baa already invested ao much capital, but, asfar.it least as the teiritoi les referred to in the above charter aie concerned, it must now reconcile itself to the doom of • too late' which has been pronounced on so many acts of the British Government. It seems that the territorial acquisitions referred to in tho above chaiter were made by several agents of the Colonisation Society, who left Berlin under assumed names last autumn, and took steamer at Trieste on Oct. 1 for Aden, whence, on the 22nd of that month, they passed over to Zanzibar, on board of the steamer Bagdad, of the Biitish India Line. From the Somali coast the members of the expedition struck away into the interior, following the Wany River till they reached the intended destination. These regions are described as healthy, but aeveral of the party at least succumbed to the climate. It will thus be seen that the Germans are prosecuting their colonial schemes with characteristic energy." Yes ! It is certainly true. Ask any of your friends who have purchased there. Garlick and Crtnwell h ive numerous un.iiked for and very favourable commendations from country customers on their excellent packing of Furniture, Crockery, and Glass, &c. Ladies any gentlemen about to furnish should remember that Garlick and Cranwell's is tub Cheap Furnishing- Warehouse of Auck1 md. Furniture to suit all classes ; also Carpets, Floor Cloths and all House Necessaries. If jour new house is nearly finished, or. you are tfoinfr to get marrird, visit Garlick and Cranwell, Queen-street and Lorne-itrcct, Auckland. Intending purchaser* can have a ratilof u» md free.