fun.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 2000, 2 May 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

fun.

" Hfre's an advertisement showing the latest thing in blankets," said the wife, as she consulted the paper. " Now, if I had to write a funny column, I would put in it, ' The latest thing in blankets is a lazy husband." " And a contemporary would retort," the husband answered, " that sach remarks are made only by a disreputable sheet." — Ex.

"Tonvcco smoking," said a traveller, "ig so> common in Holland that it is almost impwsible to distinguish one person from another in a room full of smokers." " But supposing you want to speak to some one present, how are you to find him out ? " " Ah ! in such cases a waiter is sent around with a pair of bellows, with which he blows away the smoke from the face of every person until the right one is found." — Hutvennen.

" So old Scrapetill is dead at last," observed David, from the interior of his evening paper ; " oceans of money, loo." " What did he do with it?" queried Dora. "Ob, left it here and there," said David; "that scapegrace son gets a quarter of a million. If he doesn't paint the town red now, then I'm a Canadian." " I Bhould think," mused Dora, softly, as she helped herself to another needleful of silk ; " I Bhould think that a quart of vermillion might paint a town very red indeed." And David was so astonished that he put his paper in the fire and laid a fresh stick of wood in the very centre of the plashcolored table. — IlocUand Courier.

" I usld to be fond of poker," he said, and tho expression of his face beoame retrospective ; " but, pence I got four aces downed ort in Missoury, I hey sorter gin up playin* thj game." " Your opponent had a straight flash, did he?" " No ; he hed'five jack«." " That's impossible." " Stranger, hey you ever played poker in Missoury? '" " No, sir." 11 Well, if you ever do set down in a game out thar, and a red-eyed man whose clothes smell of cattle, whittles a corner off the table, and allows that he hez five jacks, just bunch your kiards in the pack, and say, 'That's good.' "—Nap York Sun.