Josh Billings' Philosophy. unknown.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 2000, 2 May 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

Josh Billings' Philosophy. unknown.

Ov-k/mons are rare, and those who kno when and how to seize thorn are r<m r. Thpre iz gravity in wisdum, but no partickular wiedura in gravity. When a man haz got the troth, and nothing but the truth to tell, he kant help but be eloquent. All compromises aie'risky. They generally hay more cunning than truth in them. After a man has told tho truth, on every snbjekt, the quicker he sits down, and keeps still the better. A proper curiosity is commendible, but when a man squeezes a hornet, to find out which end ov him hi/, stingger iz in, he will learn more than he wished he had. Az skarce az truth iz, the supply haz allways been in excess ov the demand. Death az often comes to late, az too soon, for the children ov man. From the time ov the flood, until the coming ov Gabriel, mankind have been, and will be, unprepared for their destiny. No really learned man haz ever been more than half satisfied with what he knew. Money in right hands, iz the brains of bizzness. The weakest ov all men in the world iz the one who never haz been tempted, and thinka he can't be. The two great mistakes in life, that most ov us make, iz betting on ourselfrf, and betting against the other phellow. Too much powder and too little sfiot iz a bad average. The discharge iz apt to kik as over, and the shot skatter so much, that they hit nothing. Notoriety iz one ov the cheapest artikles in market ; all a man haz got to do iz to steal a horse, git ketched at it, go to State prizon, and be notorious for tho next three years. Words are often seen hunting for an idea but an idea iz never Been hunting for worda Matter iz eternal, manner iz short lived : we admire a monkey intensely, but onely while we are looking at him. Tho man who iz allways anxious to help sumboddy gits snubbed the oftenest, but he can stand it better than enny one I kno ov. Whenever a woman grasps for more power, she iz allmost sure to looze the grip on what she allreddy ha/ got. If a man will watch hiz weak points, his strong ones will take care ov themselfs. You can't pattent suckcess. If yu ketch a good fat frog out ov a mud hole to-day, yu don't want to go to that same hole toruorow after another one. It 13 variety that preserves the species ; if man had but one thing to look at, and one kind ov phood to eat, the race would hay bekum extinkt ages ago. The mania for books iz on the inkrease ; learning iz fast driving experience to the wall.