ABOUT THE TAPROOM.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 2000, 2 May 1885, Page 2

ABOUT THE TAPROOM.

[h\ " hoots."]

TiiiM.s aie lather dull just now, and the legul.u h ibitut's of the taproom, Imv mg not the wheieuitha! to sustain tho dignity and deme.moui of genuine loafers, the sanctum has been somewhat deserted of late, and as a few of the moie enlightened cronies vie " f 1 0111 home," and not likely to return to their poj pular habitat until after the war holiday is over, topics are scarce, arid occasional discomses dull and unpiohtable. Theories, otfeiibivo and defensive, and schemes politic and diplomatic have become altogethei exhausted, and beyond the \eiy genoial anticipation which eveiy second man entei tarns of awakening some morning the pi oud possessor of ,i nnlit.uy commis sion of some soit, there is little or nothing to chiomcle.

Having, perhaps injudiciously, touched upon the question of military commissions, I cannot lesist the temptation of dwelling to tho extent of a few lines upon this highly lmpoitant and mteiesting t ipic. 1 tli.it about eveiy second man antitiII ited a commission ; peihaps 1 may be a little out miiiv calculation, but when 1 consider the innuinei.ible einbrvonic biootustick ofhceu.d .ispn. mts with which I have come 111 contact within the last few weeks, I feel myself pel fectly justified, even at the expense of having my veiacity (my vei.icity Sir!) doubted, in standing by tliat veiv oxtraordin.uy stitcinent. Indeed it seem i to me, what with the number of young men and old fellows who have been fugliten.'d into the cavalry, and thoso who have iosi - lutely made up theii minds to either have a commission 01 let the country and its do fences go to the Russians, th it there are not a .score of men in the w hole district with which to mauguiate a militia. The Government made a me--s of the business intimating that all who had prouously held .1 commission would not be be expected to go ni with the ranks. This made many suddenly lecollect incidents in the diary of thoir existence of which even then most ultimate friends had not pieMously been aware. Some had served 111 .111 elevated (not spintivtusly) capacity in tho navy, the army, the military, 01 tho volunteers, as the case may be. They had seen s-ervico on some uiemotable cec.iMoii and could even show yon tho noble »c us of active waif are. One 1 know whose fathti was a Life (iiiaid anc another whe^e niothei when widowed h.id entered the military sphere by tunning olf with a lioise maiine. One youth's uncle was a Highlander who played the bagpipes at Bahnnial, and a particularly juvenile friend of my own acquaintance demands a commission on the strength of his eldest .sis,,ei bemyr engaged to a lifer in the Hussar*. Personally 1 h v\c .1 dual claim upon the consideiatiou of the Defence Dep.iit'iient, which I hold to be indisputable. My mother used to wash foi Major, Jackson ( you know the Major, I suppose) She was herself of an old military family, being the daughter of a polivman, and as my father, who is in the same line as myself, cleaned the Hcs.sians boots of that gallant man, Air Bi yce, befoiethe memorable advance on Paiiluika, 1 cannot see that it is possible for my claim to be ovei looked.

Apropos of the enrolling of tho militia, I understand there is likely to be .1 new contingent of bra vo defenders raised in C.unbudge. There is no doubt that, although it will be looked upon as a new dcp.utiuc, there are tiaditions to suppoit it, ami e\ perienced family men say no enemy will be ■>ble to stand befoie such a foimidable brigade. It is cwnently reported th it the sclioolgnls of Cunbiidge aie being t night the miht.uy salute, and as the tiist ('utj ( f the soldiui is obedience, it soenis that this should be most effective as a first lesson. It matters little that some of the young ladies, who have the fine sen>e of humour belonging to a p.ution of the sex, apply the foietmgtiof the hand to the side of the nose instead of saluting in the orthodox fashion ; that is a meieeffoit of onginalit\, and 111 active hostilities would lather be taken as an expression of contempt for tho enemy than f"i the superior. All had to the g.ilivy of beauty and giace, which bids fan to strike tenor to the hearts of Russian invaders of C.unbiidgo, as well as of all other loids of creation ! What a fund of sarcasm there is in that teuu ! Why, girls who can do tho military salute will soon be learning to aim the bioomstick and hie shovel with rather too much accuracy and piecision. I fear, yet hope my fenih aie unfounded, that, although the militiiiy s.iluto in..v have a spice of the "love, honmn and nb-y," husbands will Hot find milituv. habits 1.1 t':"ii wives a profitable pistime, and [ tiust th.'t 0111 schools aie not going to tr.m*f urn 0111 gnls win* 1 they, j;et on in life (not that they, ever become old) into " old snldiei-. '

Tv 1 mbl k men, 01 at least that class o humanity who asp'ie to public life, eonsis tencv is .1 vn tue. T> be consistent in tin disch.ogo ol one's public duties, and 11 actions pel taming to public life, nitelli genco, a certain amount of intellectual vriasj and hinmess of will is indispensable. With out the-e fail ui c is inevitable, and the 111,11 who s,>oks to get on without them hae Ivtter not make the attempt. To be a sue u'ssful, or indeed even a passable public man, tlie aspirant must keep pace with tin age, his ideas must be those of the piesent not of the past ; when he sets anything thai is good he should recognise its merit; he should not look upon it as an innovation, but should, niitoad, nail himself of whatevci advantage it attoids But theie are soim of 0111 public men v.ho aio «o sublimely 1111 pervious to anything 111 the way of reason, who have, in fact, such au unholy abhoi icnco to move out of the groove of then fathers, that their official existence is a de cided veto, an encumbrance upon every tiling 111 the way of progress about them. And still we find that in many of out ynnna communities such men as those hold responsible offices, and w ith all that empty vanity winch ch.uacterises them and eveiythiny they do, niovo about in their lespectivi spheres as dignitaiies of a state beyond the leach and ken of ordinal y moitals. That tho most supeiior, or at least the most suitable men arc not always elected to these positions, few will seek tci dispute. Tho two gicat qualifications foi public office now a days are simply brnsand gold. Talent, knowledge, or general competency aie mere subordinate considerations ; so long as a man has imy n mount of sterling elfionteiy and a good banking account, let his fund of knowledge bo what it may, he requires little else. Of cour&e the ignoiant or unenlightoiied mind is very often more otiginal and more circumspect than the enlightened ; bat at best it is only atiivi.il exception to a very goneial rule. The intelligent in in is never pompous ; the ignorant man is invariably so. The intelligent man always lespects the opinions of otheis, the ignorant man knowi no opinion but liis own. He is h'n own ciiterion of all that is good and worthy of emulation ; he cannot undeistind why other people should think diffeiently, but they do, neveitheloss, and it annoys him. It pn//.leß him why other people should be obliMoub to his tfieat merit ; and this is the souice of a gieatdeal of bm tiouble atiddiftcomhtuie. As a member or chairman of a public body he always likes you to look upon himself as two dintinctand sepaiate individuals—tho official man and the piivato man. If you ask his opinion 011 a subject, he will tell you that, " In my ofKcial capacity (the "official " heavily emphasised) I desue that nn-nnd-so should be the case: but pi irately I am of au altogether di leient opinion. Yes, his "official" cip icity makes a deal of difference. But I am waudeiing.

I w.is saying something about the virtuous tendency of consistency in public men, when 1 was earned off by some truant idea about the characteiistic ignorance of ceitun dignit.uies. Of course what I said on that Hcoie had no local application. How could it? Our Waikato public men .ue the very embodiment of all the virtues th.it flesh is heir to. To impute iffnoranct to any one of them would be of itself a mine. To question their intelligence, or to doubt rhrir capacity for office would be laying one's self open to a chaige of heiesy, of the woist kind. Selfishness is altogether foieigu to then composition. The public meeting at Cambridge 011 Tuesday last is au undoubted testimony of this. Witness the noble stand talitn by Mr Fisher, which I see has elicited teats of sympathy and appi oval ft 0111 To Awanmtu and elsowhcie. Witnessagain tho noble sen timent-i expressed by the chairman of tho Cambridge Town l'niaid on tho same occasion, "Out intoiests" said Mr Hough ton " arc identical with those of tht farmeis, wo itmko our living out of tho funnel h, and in coming to a settlemont 111 thin matter wo must bo ttuided by the interests of the countiy settleis." Happy thought, Air Houghtoii. Biavo, well done. But what about that little confession of yours on the samo platfoim not long since, when the same question was once bofoio agitating tho public mind. You then told your heirers how in leaguing with tho hotelkc por« to get the truin to arrive Uto t')o hntrlkeopors had sold you for your pains.

Tin 1 &toi \ \\ .is ,\ \ fi > ((ii'ii! inic if tin 1 tuiip, but need not 1)0 ii pcated I iwlti--lin. •>-, Ml 1 H'>U[,'liton, like Ii inesty, 1> tlic best j)nhc\, .uid voui L.iudoui <l<>i_s }'ni (adit

With Miy little exception, the no a proposal of the i ulvav dep n tun nt, vs Inch pn'i Cunbiidge, Tf Aii.imiitu and Mori hi-v lie people two ti.uus a d.l 3' has been m m>d with umveisal f.iM'iu. The J'i.ilco County Council is the tfie.it e\ception. In leading the repoit <>f the pmceudmgs <>f th.it Ividy something stiuek. mo as 1 itli.'i . mom. ilous ([ think that 1* about the I >t — tteim Icm use). I Hiippose Mr W. L C. Williams, who h chiiuman of th.it body, is the same Mi W, L. C. Williams who got 11]) .it t lie public meeting on the time table question on Tuesday evening and gave his he.utv and unconditional suppoil to tho new proposal. If ho, ltis lather suipriMiig that he. should have changed his mind so Minn, as nccoiding to the report of the pioceedings of the conned the le-olntion (Mildewing the new piopm.d was "mi un mouxly"' adopted. K.'tl.oi un iLcount<tb!t conduct for a public man of youi rink .md c.dibie, Mr William-'. Mistake sonieu hen siuely .'

I happened to stroll into tho Cambudge Ii iptistTabeinaclo tho otlior Snnd ly afteinoon. Sen ice vvas going on at the tune, and tin 1 , pulpit, 01 theplatfoim, 01 10-tium or whitevei it la tunned (I am i.tthet baok111 ccclciiustic.il teiinin >logj) vv.is occupied by ii tine looking yung lady pieacher. On enqiiny I a-.ceit.unul slie was a Mis-, Arnold, a ladj mission u y fiom IVngd, who w.ll raking in the doll.iis and mustenng new foices for a lein-wed onslaught on home feiualo se t <u hi leticd niggus in the, Indian teiiit-ny. The inteuoi of the building was g 't up aftei the fashion of .1 bi7.iar (I am not diMespootful ; ineiely giaphic), Indian {T.u inents and sundiy other aiticles being ananged in atti active older. The lee tuiciess's object was to induce tho Baptists of this charitable and Clnisthn community to send a missionary —a lady missionary — the whole way to Bengal to couveit this pecnli.u and peisistent sett of feminine heietics. What a joke it all is, to be sine ' .f list mi igine the good Cluistiaiis of New %'al mil doing am thing so preposteinus What tiaiiscendent wisdom ! Wll.it about oi.i su.ige neigiiboiu ■> over the bold 'i ' Now, if Miss Arnold wanted us to send a mi-.Mmi.iry home to convert tho juvenile heathens of the London inetiopolw wo might have fallen in with her ideas straight way ; but no, Miss Arnold, you really must not be facetious, lam a Chiistiau myself (at leaht I try to bj one), and the female heii'tics of Bengal will not get any of my dollars, I assure yon.

From all accounts the " budcago" schism at S. Andiew's, Cambridge, is not all over \et. Though the \estiy decided against the innovation, the paisnn did not give effect to the decision. He was in favour <>f the so called innovation, and so let it 10inaiu where it was. And doubtless theie it would hue remained had not som ; tiioughful culprit .slipped into the church and walked it oh* unknown to anyone. The offending symbol was aftei wards discoveied in thii ve.->ti\i, but no one had evei moved it, and so the matter is enveloped in mystery. Well, the congregation aie not satisfied on the matter ; thoy want to have a finger in the pie, and so a meeting is called for some evening soon to have the question argued on its merits. Truly we live in an advancing age !

What do you think of I'iofessoi Rice? (^uite a common question now -a-da3 s. \\ ell, space will not allow 1110 to entu up m 1 ling discouise as to the met its of his veiy clever pui foi uiaticu. But, personsiUj , I think him a wonder, and a \oiy genuine wonder too. There is one thing which, to my mind, goes a long way to establish hi-> genuineness. It wus a letnaikable fact that when the Piofeisot took the hand of an intelligent, cle-ai -bnunod man, he 111vaiiably succeeded in his feat, but when, on the other hand, begot hold of a numskull who had no conception of the business—and he got hold of a few of them— his tests weie slow and ficquently failures. If. the PlOfeshor did not succeed it was not ins fault ; it was the fault of his subject.

1 went to henr tho Key, H. R. Dewsbm y on "Clnules Dickons "' tho othei night, and of course had a ti eat. Theie weie a lot of people there as well as ir.e, who, I huppose, also had a tie.it and enjoyed it equally as much as I did. 1 like anything good, and like most other people past the tnciidian of life, i don't like to be distmbed in my enjo> incut of it. That a poison cm have undistmbed enjoyment in the C.unbi idge l'ubhu Hall is a statement coutr.uy to tact. To asseit that a pernon can sit thiough a pcifoim.mce or enteitainmeiit m that hall w ilhout *woumg at frequent 111liivaU is not at all in aconlaiiLe with Until. Heie ate my iioUm on Wednesday's Icctuie : — Chan man sopeningaddiL' s. Knde.ivoiirs in ;i weak voice, with an cvi dent tendency to choking, to toll the audi ence or himself— for the audience cm t heai — that the luctntei i> ug« id in.iv, vv)io-,l ability 111 this ptiticular line they aie all hilly awaie of, and having cuiighod st-veial times and indulged 111 .1 bnilimt peioiation about being " atfoidod much ploanuic in 111tiociilcing to y vi this evening (a cough) the lectuier, letnts with a piicipitou.s dii>j>behind a small tible, and tues to look nupiessive. Amidst deith-bke stillness, the luctmei dives into the lecesse-. of hn subject. I'jveiy tiling is going smoothly. A haiii'ijeiing noise c iiiiuiences at the dooi. JOveiybidy looks louud. A small man with a luge wife and about six chitdien enter. They all wear boots and wish the audience to know it. No backseat for them ; a fiont neat or nothing. Tho big 1) which, during this uiteiiuption has been hoveimg lound the lips of the audience, hns disappeared, and once inoie the nanative h being unfolded, when— but it's only abiby with a sifetj pm aduft somevvheie, and mothci takes it out. Anothei loud clinking of bolts and b.us is he.ad ; ineiyhudy looks louud, muttei ing some inaudible impiecation ; the doois are flung open, and in wait/, a few nnli.iery adveitisemeuts with all the finery of an osti ich watohouse. Of ouisc, it'.s nothing to them that tho lecturer is talking, they must get seats, and front scat-, too, and so after a lot of squoo/ang and walking about they get accomodated. No soonei had tho lectnii'i's visage assumed its natural blaiiduuss than two young ladies all of a .sudden remember they have a letter to post, and off they go. Again the clanking noise, and in sweeps a majestic female >vith a small boy armed with a new pair of boots, and while tho foi nier is occupied in wend- I ing her way to the top of the 100 m, tho small boy is discussing the situation with a sum 11 dog under a back seat. I have omitted a few of the choicest fragments, but in this way, the average entertainment in Waikato is enjoyed. I shall save my readers a reference to tho \ cry able manner in which a coitain prominent gentleman, upon whom devolved tho duty of proposing a vote of thanks, acquitted himself ot that impoitaut office. I am thinking of giving lessons o n these little foims of proccduie, and no doubt I will have him as a pupil At least 1 hope t>o, foi his own sake.

Tiih moi ca«e of cremation ia especially maikul in Italy. Altogether there have been 4(53 cases since 1876, by far the mrjonty — 3(i"2— taking place nt Milan. Fbanck makes ycurly 20,000,000 pairs of gloves, and exports 18,000,000. In ten yeura ending 1880 Great Britain imported 1."), 000,000 pairs per annum, valued at £1,500,000 sterling. Remarkable lisoArE at a Fire. — Rufcherglen Bridge mills, a cotton-thread manufactory situated at Glasgow, has been burnt to the gtound. The fire broke out shortly after 3 'oclock, and the workpeople, about 200 in nuuib°r, were all in the works at the time. The (lames spread with great rapidity, and though there weie ample means of e\it, a prune ensued among the workers. A number of the women made their escape by the windows on the fouith and fifth storiep, reaching the ground by means of ladders, ■which weie readily available. Several of the giils slipped and foil to the gioiuidin the excitement of the moment, but none weie seriously injured. While the (ire was at its height an intense sensation was caused among tie onlo( kera by one of the workmen cmeiging from a skylight on the loof of one of the sections of the mill. The building was enveloped in flames, and there was no means of escape through the interior. With the utmost coolness the man nuilcd a piece of leather belting to the inside of tlia window, ana, throwing the end over the roof, began to descend. The flames were belching from the window ; the leather belting snapped, and the man fell from a height of four storeys. He fell, however, into a tank of water and eioapod unhurt.