Bill Nye and Phrenology. THE EYE.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1994, 18 April 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

Bill Nye and Phrenology. THE EYE.

An erroneous phrenologist onco told me that I would shine as a revivalist, and said that 1 ought to marry a tall blonde, with a nervous, sanguinary temperament. Then he said : " One dollar please," and I said: " All right, gentle scientist with a tawny mane, I will give you the dollar and marry the tall blonde with a bank account and bilious temperament when you give me a chart showing me how to dispose of a brown-eyed brunette with a thoughtful cast of countenance, who married me in an unguarded moment two years ago." He looked at me in a reproachful kind of way, struok at me with a chair in an absentminded manner and stole an ay.

Lord CHESTEnrir.Ln having, on a certain oocattion, respectfully remonstrated against an appointment which George 11. wished him to make, the king, enraged, exclaimed : " Veil, appoint te teffil if you like." "As your majesty please," replied Chesterfield ; " and shall the instrument be filled up in the usual way : 1 To our right, trusty, well-beloved cousin and counsellor? '"

" Well, Colonel 8.," said a friend of education in Kentucky to a member of the legislature, " I suppose we can have your support this winter? " " What fur ? " "In our educational interests, of course. We are agitating the question, you know, all over tho state." " Doggon your educational interests. I don't want no more of it in my tea." "My dear colonel, you surprise me 1 What make 3 you talk that way ? Are you not in favor of education ? " " No, eiree, I hain't." " Why not?" "Well, because I hain't. You see, before I was eddioated all I had to do was to make a cross-mark fur my name, but now I've got to wrassel with a pen pint half-an-hour, and run my tongue out like a shoe of liver, jest because I am eddicated and can sign my name. Go and try some of them ignorant members. lam too well eddicated myself to be fooled any furdor." — Merchant Traveler.