Some New Geography.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1985, 28 March 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

Some New Geography.

Of what is the surface of the earth composed ? Of corner lots, mighty poor road"', railroad tracks, ba«e ball grounds, cricket fields, and skating rinks. What portion of the globe ia water ? About three-fourths. Somctimea they have a little gin and nothing to ic. What is a town ? A town is a considerable collection of houses and inhabitant 5 !, with four or five men who " run the party," and lend money at fifteen per cent, interest. What is a city ? A city is an incorporated town, with a mayor, who believes the whole world shakes when he happens to fall flat en a crosswalk. What is commerce ? Borrowing five dollars for a day or two, and dodging the lender for a year or two. Name the different races ? Horse race, boat race, bicy^e race, and racing around to find a man to iadorae your note. Into how many classes is mankind divided ? Six: being enlightened, civilised, half civilised, savage, too utter, not worth a cent, and Indian agents. Wlnt nations are called enlightened ? Those who have the most wars and the worst laws, and produce the worst criminals. How many motions has the earth ? That's according to how you mix your drinks and which way you go home. What is the earth's axis ? Tne lines passing between New York and San Francisco. What causes day and night ? Day is caused by night getting tired oat. Night is caused by eyerybody taking the street cars and going home to supper ? What is a map? A map is a drawing to show the jury where Smith stood when Jones gave him a lift under the eye. What is a mariner's compass ? A jug holding four gallons. — San Francisco Neics Letter.