ABOUT THE TAP-ROOM. (By "Boots.")

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1985, 28 March 1885, Page 2

ABOUT THE TAP-ROOM. (By "Boots.")

Wei.t. regulated nevvspipeis ought not to be aver.so to leceiv m n ' outside tontubutions from ill-regulated minds — for it is only people with ill-iegulated minds who, noisy, restless, dissatisfied moituls, seek to expieiit their opinions, to promulgate their vievvn upon every conceivable subject or public topic. The less knowledge a person pos sesses- the more conhdencc and self-assur-ance he is endowed with. Nobody knows more than the man who knows least, and vico versa. At least this is my opinion of outside or occasional pre«s contributes, and .is I belong to the omniscient olass of mortality referred to, with the editoi's permission I would ask to be catalogued in the list of his troubling contributes by the name and address set out abo\e. "Boots" in by no means a pioini-ing literary cognomen, for nothing \ery choice can be expected fioni a member of so menial and degraded :» profession, with the "Tap-room" as a sanctum. Though the composition may not be choice in tespect to grammatical construction or otthogiaphical beauty, .still it may be reliable p.nd ex pi eswne, for obsciue minds .vie very often peculiaily observant, and thoir unqualified observations are pretty reliable oeeaMonally. It is needless that I should introduce myself at any further length, so with the editor's permission (and an assurance of a small cheque at the end of tho month) I will proceed. I quite agree with you that tho proposal to start a volunteer nfle corps in Hamilton —in all our principle centres in fact— is an aduiuablu one. Of late yeais, at least since the advent of John Bryce, the volunteer movement in the colony has gone, to u-e an e\piessive term, up a tree. At one tune we boasted of an excellent body of volunteers, including cavalry, infantiy, and naval eoips. The service was thoroughly efficient, and members took a lively interest in their calling. Our public parades and reviews wero a subject of eulogistic comment, and n thorough patriotic spirit was manifested. But now the Volunteer system exists in disjointed fragments only. Corps have been disbanded, the spirit of emulation has dud out, ard reviews have become obsolete. But the Soudan business, tho resuscitation of the Kaskowiski freak, the possibility of an invasion from the Mahdi, the Shah or 'tother follow, the Czar, has made amateui soldiering one of the leading and pleifeante^t manias of the day. All of a sudden everybody, from Tim Bennett to tho Governor, w\nts to fight somebody about something, or to prevent somebody else fmm doing likewise. And what with the Soudan expedition, the dreaded Sclavonic onslaught, and the " possibility" of a Maori war, we have thrown to the winds the subordinate considerations of eoniinoiee and settlement, and every man is now looking to his battleaxe. Speaking of anfle coips for Hamilton, while I believe it to be dusiiable, and think it will bo successful, I cannot, cvin at the risk of being thought unkind, help 1 elating my experiences of the former nHo eompanv at that place. I lemember bi-uig ptesenc at its dlsbandment, and the sight was one never to be forgotten. Tho noble defender of the borough numbered about twelve and a half, all told (I mention the half becau-e, physically, the corps was regulated on the scale of about tluee soldiers to a nun). Captain Daw son was in ch.uge, and Colonel Lyon was perfoiniing that opeiation known in military circled as reviewing. The gallant body wero ordered into line. No two were dies-ed alike. The nether garments of the dauntless multitude presented a peifect rainb >\v of colours, from a clinical black to a blight vermilli m. Sotne were terribly baggy about tho knees, whilo otheis fitted after the fashion of stable bojs, or gentlemen of the hoisey persuasion. The coats or tunics consisted of every conceivable pattern, from the oithodo\ military garment to a page's jacket. Some, sported bayonets, and th »o who did wore them at tho right side, or the left side, or behind, Some had guns and cariied them under their aims betuoun their legs, or over their shouldeis, anyhow and every how, whichever way was most convenient. And what a ray of intelliuence pcivaded the countenances of that promiscuous thiong ! How inspning their many.eyres! How they lightwheeled, and left-whoeled, and didn't wheel at all ! How they fell in and foil out, c icked, preseuted, and as-\ ou-were'd ! How tho floor shook at their regularity of their evolutims! And thm how the gall mt colonel adduced thiin, and what wouls of encouragement <"i I eulogy hd hulled at them. He told thoni what a noble lot thov weie, how the eyes of the country weio turned towaids them ; he c mil lamented them on then military appjaiances and soldier-like bearing, and in •i tremulous voico announced that it was hn painful duty to inform them that an ungiateful (xovemment had thought fit to disband them, and dispense with their valuable services. Notwithstanding the gloomy forebodings of many, tho Waikato excursion to Auckland was an rnprccedented success. When Mr Samuel Vade promulgated his theory here some few months ago everybody thoroughly agieed with him that his principle of cheap faie< was the only thing wanting in our domestic economy to complete our happiness. But how quickly some people have gone back to the enemy. I was listening to the conlab of a few storekeepers and publicans (my boss among the number) the othtv evening, tl.e topic being the cheap railway faies in general, and the recent excursion in particular. Said Mr Storekeeper to Mr Boniface, "What can the K.nlvvay Department be thinking of? Why, it has made up its mind to mm the country, to stifle our business by diverting all tho tiade to Auckland ? These excursions take all tho icady ca-h out of the place, and many of my customers who have been pleading poverty for mouths past have been to Auckland and hi ought back about two or three months' supplies." "(^uite so, ' said Mr Boniface ; " these people are spending our money, not their own. They are taking all the available cash away and spending it in the Auckland hoteK The«e exclusions must be put an end to. The people must not be eiiuouiaged to leave the district. Wo must bestir ourselves in the mattei." Choi its of voice", "Yes," "Let us petition," " We must see the mauagui, ' " Oui member must bo interviewed," and with this deteiiimiatiou and gioans foi Yailo and Hudson the party separated. Theie is '•oniething decidedly nch about these liberal sentiment". Of couise those who uttered them spoke fiom their own point of view, and no doubt they aie quite 1 ight. It is, certainly, lather an ungrateful thing for a man to run up a big score with a storekeeper, and when he gets hold of the vvheievvithal to clear off his liability to go off to Auckland and invest it in the ready money concerns there. But that is the storekeeper's look out ; a nmttnr solely between him and his customer. Why should the general public suffer, why should we be denied a privilege simply because a few grumbling storekeepers and grabbing pub licans find that it does not pay them ! We are surely not all indebted to the gratitude of a few of our local traders ? This is Protection with a vengeance. Our railways are to bo used as a heavy protective duty to enforce us to buy of our local strekeepcrs. Who ever heard of anything half so piepostorous ? It demonstrates clcaily what nn exorbitant price we have to pay for goods in Waikato when our local tradesmen are unable to compete with those of Auckland. I noticed that a laigo number of those people who speak strongly after the above fanhion took advantage of the cheup tiip thoinsolves, as it enabled them to do their buying more cheaply than hitherto. I wonder will tho unfortunate customers get the benefit of the difference ? A good story has been going tho rounds about a prominent storekeeper, one of his debtors, and the Kemejiyi conceit. Mr Debtor thoughtfully provided himself and family with reserved seats, that ho might hear to tho best advantago the soul-stirnng strains of the Hungarian fiddler, while his uufoitunato creditor and his family had to content themselves with what little «f the happiness could reach them among the gods. Tho next moinmg Mr Creditor, believing that Mr Debtor wan in funds, called upon him and asked him to reduce that little affair. Receiving the usual answer, he asked him how he could afford to sport leseived seats at the concert for a family of about half-a-dozen, to which Mr Debtor calmly replied, " Well, you see, my friend, that was a littlo diplomacy on my part. I knew I could not afford to go to the reserved seats, but the very fact of my being seen there by all tho other storekeepers present so enhanced my credit in their eyes, that tho Missus this morning has just been and made a fresh start upon each of them. Your claim is therefore more secure than ever.