The Lime-Kiln Club.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1982, 21 March 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

The Lime-Kiln Club.

" If de Hon. Lycurgus Standoff am in de hall to-night he will please step dis way," observed Brother Gardner as the meeting opened with the thermometer marking 103 degrees above zero. The brother referred to laid down the half of a six-cent muskmelcn and advanced to the platform with a look of mingled surprise ar.cl anxiety on his face. " Brudder Standoff," said the President in s voice full of kindness, " you am an ambishus man. You banker to be Rreat an' famus. You want to climb up. You pppnd hours prepaiin' speeches fin' addresses, en' odder hours in dehberin' 'em befo' emaginary audiences. You eot on de fence an' read of Cassius. You lay on de gr?.ss an' read of Brutus. While awake you hanker to be a member of de Lsgislachur, an' in your sleep yo dream of risin' to a pint of order in dc nex' Congress. Lycurgus ! " " Yea, sah ! " "I goes in to incuraige ambishun in tha cull'd race, but I mus' at the same time warn you not to lose your common sense. Brutus was a smart man, but he wasn't two months behind on de rent of his cabin. Sisero could hold an audience spellbound, but his wife didn't hay to go bar' fut fur de want of a dollar pr'r of shoes. Maro Antony could fill a hall on twenty minits' notice, but his chil'en didn't look like seben scare-crows posted on de fence. Socsates saw men bow to his wiidom, but he hud a wood-pile at de back door an' tacers in do cellar fur winter. Lycurgus ' " " Yes, sah ! " "Doan* let go of de rabbit in your hand in order to foller up a 'possum track thtea daj a old. Instead of trying to be great, seek to be good. Instead of aching fur de plaudits of a multitude, it am fur better to hey de confidence of one single man whose indorsement on de back of a note will git you de cash at a bank. Men who bow befo' a great man talk behin' hiß back. Fame m&y tickle your vanity, but fame makes enemies an' brin<;3 abusp. Lycurgus l" " Yes, sah !" •' Ambishun am a creek rufehin' hew a hilly kentry. Mingled wid common sense it turns de wheels of milla an' factories an' becomes a benefit to thousands. Left to its own wild will it damages an' devastates an' becomes a curse. You may nebber Fee your name on de bills a3 a candidate for de Legielachur ; but you kin pay de butcher an' grocer. You may nebber git to Washington, but you km pay your rout so promptly dat de landlord will want to put French plate glass in de winders. Ds world may nebber thrill ober your perorashuns, but you kin feel a deep satisfacksbuD in payin' cash down for sixbuehels of turnips. Lycurgus l" " Yes, sah !" " Go back an 1 sot down 1 and ponder obei these things. Doan* lobe your ambishun, but harness it up in sich a way dat it can't run away wid de vehicle an' bust things.— Detiott Free Press.