SYDNEY SKETCHES.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1964, 7 February 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

SYDNEY SKETCHES.

By Harold "W. H, Stephen.

MX TBIP HOME. Amongst the various ailments which afflict me from time to time, not the least obnoxious is nostalgia. There are nights when I lie awake for hours tossing, tumbling, " busting" mosquitoes, and vainly wooing the sleep which will not come, simply because I have been idiotic enough to begin my preparations for slumber by speculating upon how I would enjoy myself if kind Fate admitted of my revisiting the old world. Oh, would not I enjoy myself 1 Not doing the trip in a swell fashion, be it understood, but contenting myself with modest quarters, in queer out-of-the-way old inns, and " humping my swag " all over Europe. Some eighty or ninety years ago — at this distance of time it is useless to try to be particular as to a decade or so — some eighty or ninety years ago, then, I made a foot tour through Bohemia, Silesia, and Saxony, reminiscences of which affect me at the present hour. We were a happy party of boys out for a holiday, with knapsacks strapped on back, alpen-stocks in hand, light hearts, sufficiently well-stocked purses, and appetites of Gargantuan dimensions. We wandered through such quaint old places, every one of which had its niche in history, and had its hero and its legend. We aaw just what the aristocratio traveller, doing Europe with a courier and a guide-book, never sees, and we lived for a few short weeks in a veritable dream. And then, how we did eat and drink 1 We wanted no stimulating sauces to stir our appetites into activity— black rye-bread, sourkrout, cold boiled veal, raw herring, and suohlike dainties, dear to the Teuton stomach, were good enough for us, and we feasted royally on food which would considerably as-

toniph the palates of most of my readers. As for Bleep, we took it when and where we could get it ; sometimes in German beds, Fmothered over by a huge feather bed in lieu of pheets and blankets ; sometimes on fresh-cut straw ; sometimes on floors covered with heather ; Bometimea (as a noonday "iesta) on a mountain side, 'mid fragrant flowers and luHcious berries. Then the drink— ye gods ! shall I ever forg°t the huge s^hoppen foaming over with «nch la^er-beer as cannot be procured for love nor money in Australia ; or, mayhap, the stronger Bavarian, which smacked of tar to such an extent that no untrained palate could suffer it Many a drink of milk, too, did we enioy in the mountain I*,1 *, and the little flanks we carried with us were rarely without a filling of kuramel. lam becoming too thhsry to pursue this line of reflection any longer. Bohemia was my especial delight, which probably accounts for the fact that I have taken up my quarters en permanence in the faiiy lealm. I would like very much to take the reader for a trip over the old ground, but it is quite probable that I should only weary, for net everything that interests me would interest another. I will, therefore, content myself by raying that I had, on that ever-to-be-remembered trip, such a good time as I may never hope to "cc again. But I want to try, anyway, and, as aforesaid, I spend much time in cogitating on ways and mpans, and laying out plans for my route when the event does come off. And right here let me make an appeal to the reader. I calculato that these lines will come under the review of (though they may not be read bj ) some two or three hundred thousand individuals. If each intelligent, good-hparteJ reader who has waded thus far through my maundering will forward the sum of one shilling to me, under cover to the editor, I feel euro a sufficient amount will be raised to enable me to realise my dream. Thrn will I bless the generous donors in the Juden Gasse of Prague, on a moonlight night in the Coliseum at Home, on the Acropolis in Athens, Unter den Linden in Berlin, in the Dresden National Gallery, in Westminster Abbey, in the Champs Elysees at Paris, at the Lakes of Killarney, under the Falls of Niagara, in Washington Capitol, and anywhere else that fancy may lead me, or funds admit of my visiting. Think, gentle reader, of what joy it is in your power to bring to a tortured spirit, and ante-up without delay. Postage stamps will be received in payment. I promise y«u that, in return, I will write you such wise and witty letters from all sorts of places, that Mark Twain's " Innocents Abroad " will not be even so much as a circumstance alongside them. And that brings me to another of my longings : I want to see and talk to a good many people, in many different lands. I should like to hold a little conversation with Bismarck, for instance, and ask what in thunder he thinks will happen to the world when he and Kaiser Wilhelm are cremated. I should like to tell Tennyson a piece of my mind with reference to that barony business, and request him to rest quiet on his laurels, and not worry his admirers by the publication of such balderdash as " Hands all Bound." I want to talk to that old lion, Victor Hugo : I have ideas which 1 wish to disousß with several dozen English authors, artists, politicians and musicians ; and, above all, I want to shake hands with Mark Twain, and thank him for the many happy hours I have spent in his company All these things I want to do, and it remains for you, reader, to help mo to do them. Reflect; what good I might accomplish in such a tour. The very destinieß of Europe might be altered by a few wise words from me, whose lips, as you arc well aware, distil wisdom as naturally as the pump supplies milk. And what glory would not reflect upon you in such a case. " There," you oould say, " I knew ho could knock them if he got a chance, and it wns my bob did it !" I say no more — modesty forbids me from even indicating what other great things I could accomplish if the opportunity were afforded me. I have made up my mind. When Ido go (which I presume will be about Xmas time, as it will tako some months to collect in the subscriptions, &o.) t I shall go by the Pacific route. In the fiist place, lam bound to " do" Amprioa thoroughly. I don't propose to hump my swag through the States from end to end, for that continent is too vast, and places of interest are too far apart, to reach them by foot. No ; in the New World I fhall do the magnifico, and travel per Pullman palace-oar through the country. I have inspected the steamers of the Paoifio Mail Co., and am Fatisfied — they are good enough for me. And when I say " they are good enough for me," that means a great deal. It covers the whole ground, in point of fact. You must remember, lam not now posing before you in the character of the penniless free lance. No, my pockets are full of coin (thanks to your bounty), and I am, for the nonce, a magnifico. I am in the humor now to turn up my nose even at a supper off canvas back duck at Delmonico's. / don't put up with any boiled veal or sourkront when I put on this style, and it must be really a first-class article which meets with my approval. Understand, then, that I approve of the Pacifio mail steamers. I would say they are " floating palaces," only I have a dim idea that I have heard that remark before. Any way, they are fitted up with a magnificence which should satisfy anybody but a Russian prince or a Vanderbilt, and their ouisine and liquors are undeniable— very undeniable, I may say — especially the latter. On enquiring of the local agents, Messrs. Gilchrist, Watt and Co., I find that the thiough passage, from Sydney to Liverpool, costs about ill"). This includes first-class carriage by railway through America, but does not provide for sleeping accommodation, or feeding on the trains. As I mean to sleep well, and feed better than well, I suppose I may put down another £8 or £10 for this item. I learn that I may stop by the way, when and where, and for almost as long as I please, and still go on at the expense of the Company ; and, indeed everything, by this route, seems specially suited for my convenience on the trip I propose to make this summer. I am not exactly clear &s to my traok through America — there are so many places I mmt visit, and so many means of getting to them, that one is apt to get confused. I shall certainly stay a day or two at Salt Lake city, having some business to transact in referenoo to polygamy ; then I am bound to spend some time in Chicago ; it would be simply a crime to leave Niagara out of my programme ; Washington will demand a short visit ; Boston will take longer, and New York oannot be done under a week or two. Then I have to shoot an elk, anyhow, and I suppose I shall have to go to Oregon or Canada in search of one. I must not also omit to prospect a bit in Nevada; I oan't see why I should not discover a silver mine as well as any other man. Altogether, my traok across America will be rather of a criss-cross pattern ; but, for all that, the bulk of the travelling will be got through at the cost of the Pacific Mail Company; I find, also, that for a very slight additional cost, I can travel through the Southern States, via New Orleans to New York, and that trip also must be made. Now I have told you how I propose to begin my trip, and you can imagine what a good time you are going to have reading my letters from all the above-mentioned places. You can call me your Special Correspondent, if you please, or your Travelling Reporter, or even your Special Commissioner. lam not proud, any way, and any title will do me ai long as I am suitably remunerated. N.B.— Put your hand in your pocket before you lay down this paper.

No one can lay himself under obligation to do a wrong thing. Pericles, when one of his friends asked his services in an unjust cause, excused himself saying, " I am a friend only as far as the altar." — Fuller.