CLIPPINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIII, Issue 1934, 27 November 1884, Page 4

CLIPPINGS.

A man was selling a hotse, and the would-be purchaser, inquired as to his leaping powers, asked, " will ho take timber?" "He'll jump over your head," was the answer ; "I don't know what you call that." A mvx always finds out there is a hole in the bottom of his stocking. He makes the discovery when he takes his boots off at night, and puts his foot down on a hot ! stone to warm. He raiely forgets to speak light out about it. Patient — "Sir, you put me in a set of false tueth." Dentist—" I remember." Patient— "You promised they would be just like natural teeth." Dentist— "No doubt." Patient—" But your false teeth give me a deal of pain." Dentist — " An exact imitation of nature !" Every man takes care that his neighbour shall not cheat him. But, if a day comes when he begins to care that he does not cheat his neighbour, then all goes well. He has changed his marketcart into a chariot of the sun. The latest addition to American amusements is a show of Chinese lepers. The showman of these poor wretches claims that lie is showing them in the interests of American society. He declares that there arc 1,000 lepers in San Francisco, that the disease is spreading, and that, theiefore Chinese immigration should be stopped forthwith. He keeps his lepers in an iron cage. 8 Mk White,' said a Harrisburg lawyer to a witness in the box, 'at the time these papers were executed you were speculating, were you not ?' ' Yes, Sir. 1 1 You were in oil?' ' I was.' • And what are you in now ?' ' Bankruptcy,' was the solemn reply. A hawk Eii is meeting with amazing success in some of the suburbs. The way he lassoes his victims is like this : —When the front door is answered by the lady of the house, no matter if she , does look old enough to have voted several times, he politely inquires, "Is your mother at home?" This little piece of strategy always insures him a sale, and the older the customer the laiger the sale. " Wh \t was all the scuffling about down-staiis ?" asked Mrs Hilboots, as her lord and master strode into the room. " Nothing, except that masher asking for Sarah Ann " " What did I he say ?" " Oh, lie begun by saying he was speaking from the bottom of his heart, and so on." " And what answei did >ou gnc?" "I grew spasmodic, too," answered Hilboots, gently tapping his little angelic number twelve shoe ; " and gave him an answer from the bottom of my tole." Thk London coi respondent of the Duncdm Star writes -.—The survivors of the unfoitunate yacht Mignonette are. thehuoes — or pei haps one ought to say " the notoiieties" — of the hour. For the past ten days the papers have teemed with levolting details of their ghastlj cannibalism, and long letters from sympathises protesting against their prosecution. A subscription was raised i » Anglo-colonial circles to send the men out of the countty as soon as the law allows. .Sir Saul Samuel is interesting himself in the case, and I believe Mr Want, of Sydney, (the purchaser of the Mignonette), is also to be appealed to. Theie can bo no doubt it will Ie a kind thing to give Dudley and his men an oppoi tunity of re-commencing life wheie they arc unknown ; but I have grave doubts u hether all of them will care to accept it. The sailor Brooks seems far fioin disliking the terrible singularity of his position. He describes the meals which he and Dudley made off their muideied messmate's body with a ghoulish lelish and awful minuteness that makes one's blood run cold. Whether his action in saving his own life at the expunge of another's was justified I don't know, but I do know that neither he nor Dudley look to me the men at whose metcy I should care to find myself. Thk Indiaruiiuer Industry in Aainucv.— It would appear from statistics published in lhadsttvei's Journal, that the lubber industiy in the United States has no n\al in foieign countries. There is something like 70,000,000 dols. invested in the business of manufacturing rubber goods, 30,000,000 dols. of which is confined to the rubber boot and shoe industry. The total number of employ^ is placed at 10.000, and the total number of factoi ies at 1 20. According to a recent census bulletin, the value of the annual pioduce is 250,000,000 dols., or £30,000,000. Some 30,000 tons of raw rubber was imported every year, which, when combined with other materials in manufactiuing, amount of 300,000. The maiket pi ice of the raw material has been forced up to a dollar and a quarter per lb , while si.\ jears ago the price was scaicely half a dollar. In consequence of the advanced piiceof mbber, several substances have been prepared as substitutes for it, for which celluloid is the most impoitant. Others have rubbers as a component pait. But up to the piesent tune rubber lias been able to hold its own, and America to maintain her position as the chief seat of the industry. Th 3 Bad and Worthless aie ne\er 'imituhd or counterfi itetl. This is especially tiuc of a family medicine, and it is positive prool that the remedy unit* ted is of the highest value. As soon as it had been tested and proved by the whole -w odd that Hop Bitters was the was the purest, best and most valuable family medicine on earth, many imitations spuing up and began to steal the notices in which the press and the people of the country had expressed the merits of H. 8., and in every way trying to induce suffering invalids to use their stuff instead, expecting to make money onthfciedit and good name of H. B. Many others started nostiums put up in similar style to H. B , with variously de\ iscd names in which the word " Hop" or " Hops" were used in a way to induce people to believe they wcie the same as Hop Bittcis All such pretended remedies orcuics, no matter what their style or name is, and especially those with the word " Hop" or Hops'' in their name or in any way connected with them or their name, arc imitations of counterfeits. Beware of them. Touch none of them. Use nothing but genuine American Hop Bitters, with a bunch or cluster of green Hops on the white label, and Dr Soule's name blown in the glass. Trust nothing I else. Druggists and Chemists are warned against dealing ill imitations of counterfeits.