The Essayist. First Impressions.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIII, Issue 1884, 2 August 1884, Page 2 (Supplement)

The Essayist. First Impressions.

Some people say that hi. 5 Lrsrie-'.ionrj aic everything. They me tn.3 uik->1 and most trustworthy; and ejl the modifications v.hich come by in ci eased knoivlcrl;;c aie sure to be misleading just in propomon r.3 Ihuy deflect that first mipieraion. The ppiut which Bhinea out o£ the oye% at the Jiisl gl mcc oi a new acquaintance v the governing chaiactefistic of his as yel unpluinbed natuie. Then you see the sincoilty or the hy piocrisy, the Bimplicity or tne affectation, the substantial kindness or the core of haidue-.s, v.hlch gives the lie to the outward manner, and strikes up through the surface as the gfouud-wash of a picture stiikss up tlnough all future overlays. Subsequent expciienee ma> eiiace tnat mat impression, but this wan the ti^e one, the warning of which h to be obeyed or the dij.eetion followed. So argue those who givo a,n inordinate value to intuition, r,nd who make reason of less account than instinct. Aa with most things in lifo, thue v both truth and falsehood in thntneoiy. Attinae3it fits in with facts ; at li nie.j it docs not. In the experience oi most of Ud thciehave been occasions when the first impression was tlia tiue one, and all subsequent deflections, f,nd reflections were anything but tiue. And there have been occaaion3 when that fii&t impression waa absolutely false, and wo learnt to recognise the better truth — or perhaps the worse — a.3 time went on and the real nature revealed itself in action, which is the best test of all. The manners of that little snob, with whom you were reluctantly made acquainted, were detestable ; and his appearance was on allfours with his manners. He woig a suit of a loud pattern and much jewellery of a gaudy kind. His lank and shining hair we 3 a barber's advertisement ; Lia hat was only fit ior a more disreputable kind oi Aunt Sally ; his syntax was shaky, and hia h's had a trick of vanishing into epaco when they weie most needed, and of standing sentinel before all the vowels, where they weie fcupoiiiuous and obtrusive. You tuined from him with disdain -—you the heir of ages of culture — you the blossom of a tree the roots oi which wens down aa far as the Conquest ; — aud you foil yourself not a little outraged by the propinquity of your neighbour. He was a snob, and snobs are unfit for the society, unworthy the humane condescension of the Upper Ten. So say Borne at this present time, io whom the conventional refinement of marmeis is more precious than the fundamental qualities of humanity. But your little snob liad a seam oi gold traversing that very ordinary clay of which ha was formed on the outside ; and by this esam of gold the roughness of his bearing was redeemed, and the poverty of his taste was enri^tl'eT, That little snob had done a

great thing in his life. At least, if we call unaclfiohness and devotion— manfully bearing a burden that ho could have cast down without more blame than that negative kind which is implied in failing to do the highest thing, but by no means ascribing active wrong — if we can call that a great thing, then had ho been in his own narrow sphore a hero of equal value with some whose names have been recorded iv history and blazoned for ever in the book of fame. No one could havo" blamed him had ho followed his inclination and married his pretty Jemima. He loved her with pll the force of hia heart, and hia heart was a siiigularly affectionate one ; and though he did call her Jermimer, and sucked the knob of his cane when he looked at her with shepp's eyes that made hits ugly whHe face uglier than 6^er ; and, though ho did stick hia hat a trifle more to the side as h6 strutted about the pier, parading before her as if he had been a peacock and she a modest wee hen, that did not destroy the real worth of his self-sacrifice when hia father died and bia mother was left a widow, and ho devoted himself to her and his eibters n3 the only man they had about them. Ma' and the gells, as ho called them, must be kept a3 well as they had b^en in the guvnors iimo. And as for Jermimer — well, he had not popped the question outright ; for all that he thought he was piefcty safe iv that quarter. But he had said nothing, and he was glad of it now. She would find someone else who would make her a good 'usband. " But no one would love her like I would/ added ho, with something perilously like tears in his light grey eyes. Tho^o tears came to an unmistakable head when he wa3 alone at night; and for weeks he wspt like a child, or a girl, for the los 3of the home he had so often pictured to himself, and had been working so hard to realise. Had he not had self-restraint enough to wait until he had secured at least tha basiri, he woald. have epoken to his Jomima long ago. Bat you seehe was honest f.nd honorable ; and so he lost all round. All the wrao he did his duty. He took his father's place in the house, and kept his mother and sistera r.s they had been kept all along ; and no one but himself knew what he suffered when Jemima Green became Jemima Brown, and the last ray of his hope faded into night and nothingness. Now, was this action not great enough to redeem that shady syntax, that vile taste in dress, that snobbish swagger, those obtiusive aspirating sentinels, and those pale giey ehoi t-lashed eyes ? To us it seems that ii was ; that your first impression, dear Madani, was a wrong one ; and the cold shouldsr turned so disdainfully to your snob would have been better exchanged for a hearty grip of tho hand and a friendly amile, as one recognising worth when you saw it. So far the snob and the misleading first impxessions made by him on the cultured and the refined. On the other hand, stands one who impressed you at first sight, and on superficial acquaintance, as a man to be aided, encomaged. A self-made, or rather a selfmaking man, ho seemsd deserving of all that friendliness of feeling which cornea spontaneously to those who respect humanity for itself and not for its possessions. Quiet in beauiig, respectful, quick to understand and pioinpt to obey, avowedly studious and desirous to got on — and having indeed got on to a certain extent most creditably— you believed diet all the iest was as the surface and that the giain held good from end to end. When you knew him better you found him simply a nwk. His ambition was vanity, not the 'nobler desire to improve ; his manner so quiet now, so reopectful, so obliging, waa manner and no more. The real natme beneath was brutal, violent, selfish, insolent. He was simply an a,dept at feigning, and was a mere actor on the theatre of his everyday life. He knew to n nicety what would touch the imagination and soften the hearts of those who, honest in their own persons, do not suspect sham and L.iud in others ; and when he had got all he could hopo for, then he showed himself in his real character, and the ma-sk was laid aside and the faice of moral aspiration was at an end. To give your trust to such a man as this is frimply to put your head into the lion's mouth ; for nothing is so ruthless as vanity, nothing so bmtal as egotism. There are more foims of cannibalism than that typical one of dooming your flesh, and more ways of sacking out your marrow than by splitting your km. s after the manner of savages and the primitive man ; a3 tho3efind to their co^t who have business relations with well-mannered shams, of whom the first impression was more than pleasant, and the after experience worse than painful. What a &w2et creslure that pretty woman is, with her soft voice and quiet ways, her level intonation and still eyes ! Your first im]ne?."ion of her is soothing and delightful. You think of her as you think of an opalescem suncet or a silver moonrise — she is peace and rest and gentleness and tenderness incarnate, and you woiship her for all the beauty that you feel suro she incorporates. See her with her nisid — with her husband — with her cnildien ; Bee her as sho is without an audience to admire her for thai which she feigns to be and is not ; and then perhaps your loosely-rooted enthusiasm will take another turn, and your verdict will be decidedly not so laudatory as it is now. Your fir&fc impression wa° wrong throughout; just &3 wrong as the repugnance you feel for that other, the Siren s friend and foil, whosa rather largo aud coarsely hewn features, rough voice, and angular manners seem to express a rude and hard aud unfeeling nature. The impression which she makes at first sight is, without question, unfavorable. It is only by deeper knowledge that you get to learn the substantial worth of her nature, and how the quality of her vocal chords and the modelling of her features are in no way the indications of what lies behind. Just as the Siren's charm of outward bearing and grace of seeming were blind alleys leading to no corresponding place of baauty in her soul, go are these rougher si^ns alrio blind alleys leading to no correspending places of ugliness. Bather the reverse. They arc only the thinnest little screens put up between the outside world and a very morul Eden within — an Eden where flourish all the loveliest growtha of pity, tenderness, generosity, unselfishness, helpful baud and loving heart, as belongs to women who fulfil their appointed functions. And again that maxim which bids one trust to one's fir3t impressions falls to the ground as a fallacy when accepted as an unvarying rule ; and is to ba followed only at those times when it chances to fit in with the tiuth of things. And who is to know when it does thus fit in, and is not a lying spirit flashing a dazzling and misleading light before one's eyes, as yet unable to discern things as they are ? Again, there are people who are so impressionable by outside influences that they are never their real selve3 on a first introduction, but arc as creatHres veiled and obscured, needing time and the tranquility of accustomed association before they reveal their true nature. Of such as these the first impression is almost surely wrong. If they are of the kind whom nervousness makes aggres- • sivo, self-assertive, spiky — as nervousness does sometimes — who can read between the lines and sea that this ugly manner is simply due to moral discomfort and in no wise expresses the nature within ? and who can see in that quiet form the heart of fire which is damped down for very fear of its force ? Like men who are afraid of a temperance pledge and therefore become total abstainers, there are many, whose whole morale is volcanic, who have cultivated a manner so still as to appear wooden, so calm as to appear- cold. Only when the concealed fires are fairly rouse.d does the truth appear. But no one suspects, still less discerns, at first sight ; and it may be that even intimate friends live and die without ever knowing what fiery substance underlies that cold exterior. Photographs tell something of the real nature; which is one reason why so many do not like themselveo when sunpainted. Here no one can put on an air ; the tones of the voice are mute, the flash of the eye is dead; and the changeful color does not tell. The face comes out in its true impress, no matter what the smile or the attitude assumed to give a false animation to the features ; and the best first impression of a stranger is to be had from agoocUntouohecl

photograph, where all the artificial aids, which are of so much account in the living person, are of no avail, but where the moulding force of the temper, the character, the habitual thoughts, the cherished desiro, has ifc all ita own way, and the true nature is shown without a veil, under the cruel candour of ecicnca and the sun. — The Queen.