Oh, Mamma.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1866, 21 June 1884, Page 2 (Supplement)

Oh, Mamma.

"Mamma," said a pretty young woman of Clifton, " I have been reading an interesting article on the wearing of the hair among Japanese women and its significance." " What does ifc say ? " "Well, among other things, ifc says much may be read from the arrangement of a woman's hair—" " I think it is different in America," interrupted the mother. "Why, mamma?" " Ahem, daughter ; I should say, judging from the way you looked after Henry went away last night, that much may be read in the dis-arrangement of a woman's hair." 11 Oh, mammal " — Mercliant Traveller.

Spookep. was hurrying home through the dusk to dinner when he tumbled over the prostrate body of a citizen who had held on to his New Year's resolution until that morning. " Hello 1 " cried Spooker, " how did you get there?" " Notwithstanding," replied the citizen, who was not too drunk to recall the oldest joke he knew. Spooker went home pondering. Thre3 days afterwards at dinner he suddenly burst out laughing, and explained in reply to Mrs. Spooker's question that he had just thought of the funniset thing he ever heard. He had met a prostrate drunk, who replied, when asked how he had fallen, "Nevertheless." " ' Nevertheless,' " repeated Mrs. Spooker puzzled. " I don't see anything funny about that." "Of course not," replied the delighted Spooker. "Of course you won't at first ; I didn't. But you wait two or three days, then you will."— The Wasp.

The following scene recently occurred in the court-room of one of the superior judges last elected, who if he was not corn in Ireland is much belied by his appearance. A comfortable, well-to-do Irishman was on the witnessstand calmly giving his testimony. He was asked by a lawyer: "Where did you first know the deceased ? " "In the ould counthry," responded the witness. " In the old country ? What does the witness mean by the • old country ? ' What country is that? " asked the judge. The witness assumed a stern look, slowly straightened up in his chair, eyed the judge long and severely and then said with a freezing severity : " France, ay coorse I " — TJie Wasp.

Scene— A railroad car. Elderly gentleman smoking. Two ladies and one young man not smoking. Young Gent: Excuse me, sir, but these ladies find your cigar very unpleasant. Old Gent: Sorry for J em; very nervous travelling. Have to keep smoking — only, remedy. Young gent rises and performs a very ' furious war dance. Knew the step, you Bee. Old gent remonstrates. Young gent sorry, but finds the motion necessary to compose his nerves when travelling. Old gent flings his cigar out ofleft window. Young gent resumes his] seat at the right, Perfect harmony, undisturbed till _ next station. " , - „ ■ 86enQ oloses. — American paper.

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