CLIPPINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1853, 22 May 1884, Page 4

CLIPPINGS.

Mr^ Dudu Fr.,KTriiKK,(" Ocorje Fleming"') is bringing out through the press of tin' Maemillans a new novel, oddly entitled "Vestigia." Anotiikr volume on Luther is promised. " Luther and the Jlclotmntion " is the title, the author being Chailes H. Mead. The publisher is George 11. Ellis, of Boston. Jutrs P\v\, the English novelist, i.s not lit .ill well, and his medical man urges entiie rest fiom anj' wtiting, especially fiom that which lequircs the use of the author's inventive faculty. A nkw edition of the " Girl of the Period " essays, reprinted from the Saturday Review, is published in London with the name of. the author, EM/a Lynn Lynton, acknowledged on the title page. Tin; smallest pony known is the pet of the Uaioness - Buulett Coutts-Baitlett, the richest woman in England. The pony stands only lttin high and is five ye.us old. 111 1- a ewe loses her lamb, milk hci for a feu days, and mix .1 little alum with her bait. Ir is well known (the" Electiical Review " says) that Piofessor Bell it. no longei ei edited with the nncntion of the" telephone in the United States of Aineiica. Indeed, his patents in that country aie apparently in danger ol being entirely ovcithiown. The chief tliimant to the invention of the telephone is now one I'aniel Diawhaugh, who clearly forestalled Bell in all points by seveial years. Fkom Cape files recently to hand, we learn that mining piospects aie looking biightei in Soutli Aft tea. A petition has been presented, and great pressure has been bioughfc to bear upon the Government, to tinow open the Kaap Valley, in the Tinnsvaal, for agi ieulture and mining. The extent of land in the valley is about one and thiec (juartcr million acics, and a gi eat pai t of it is lichly auufeiou*. Tendei" have been called for the tianspoih of 400 tons of mining michineiy fioiii Cape Town to the Tian:>\aal. It is lepoi tul that a nugget weighing 271bs, was discovered in the same distiict. Meinonal-. nro being signed all tluough the Tiansvaal to utiro the (Jo\ eminent to tin ow open thecountry for mining ; and if the lnfoiniation concerning the extent and lichncss of the countiy can be lelied upon, there is a piojpcious futuie in store tor the ]3n ti>h Colonies in Soutn Atiica. Lately gold to the value of 1)3.18!) was shipped to England fiom Capo Town alone. The Kimbei ley diaii'ond fields aie not exhausted yet either, although .such finds as foimeily ailed are not now hit upon. Aithmunxek Oratory. — Say-* a San Fraicisco journalist, who lately vis t d Eug'a'id : Have youevir heard the stiay Englishman in this country make an aftei -dinner speech ? Well. I heatd many such effotts over the other side. But in case you have never had the bliss of listening to him, undei the smoke wicatlis of a fragrant Havana, >\hen the toasts aie icplied to, I will give you an idea of what his speech is like • He n^es, with n little cough, or tickling in the tin oat. winch a fleets him, pulls at Ins waistcoat, or shakes each leg to get his trowseis down, looks at his plate, pel haps takes .1 few diopsof water to commence swimmingly with, staits it with : ''I lise, gentlemen "— then gi\ c;> a, little cough, or something that sounds like " hem — ahem"-- pauses, and goes on : '• This I ma) say, gentleman, — that 13 — pel haps, I may be allowed to obsenc,— to icniaik, — rather as lem.ukably expiessive of, — to observe, I would s.iy, as icmaikably expicsshe of my feelings on this lemaikable interesting occi— on the piesent occasion — is, gentlemen— that I consider this— l'm sme I need not -indeed I must say — and I say say it without hesitation --(pause) — that is the pioudest; moment of my life— (piuse). Foi — as the fabled bird of I'oetiy, the phiunix, denves new \ it.ility — If I nny be allowed the expies^ion — an expiicd extinct— distinct — no — I may say extinct existence, .so does the — the — the (p.uw) cilm seienity of age emanate fiom the tiansitiiy (cjugh) turbulence of youth (pause.). Indeed— gentlemen, if I may be allowed the expression, indeed I may say on the parent occasion, that tliisis a most— inteicsting moment, and my feelings can be better concencd or indeed I may say imagined, rather than (pause)— (anothei little cough) — depicted — and so I will, if I may be allowed to say it —,it down." Now, Mr Editor, tins i->, without exaggeration, a fail s,\niple of the afternoon speeches of seven out of ten sti oiling Britons. You want somebody who has heard them to lead \ou the foiegoing aloud, with coughs and peculiar expiessions at the light places, especially on the word " may." A <,>ruvr Si ioiox.- Mr Dodd was a mini^tei who lived many year*, ago a few miles liom Cambridge, and having seveial times been pleaching against diinikuniest., "ome of the Cambridge schol.ii-> (conscience, which is sharper than ten thousand witnesses, being the monitoi) weic \ei j much offended, and thought he made leflections on them. Some little tune j'fter Mr Dodd was | w. liking toward C.imbiidge, and met some ot the gow nsmen, w ho, as soon as he .saw him at a distance, resolved to make some lidicule to him. As soon as he came up, they accosted him with " Your servant, sit !"' He replied " Your servant, gentlemen !" They asked him it he had not been preaching \eiy much about diunkenness of late? he answeicd in the affirmative. They [ then told him they had a favour to beg of him, audit was that he would preach a seimon to them " theie,"' horn the text they should choose. lie aigued that it H.iaiui imposition, for a man ought to have some consultation before preaching. They said they would not put up with denial, and insisted upon his preaching immediately (in a hollow tiee which i tood by the loadsMe) fiom the word '• Malt.' He than began :— " Beloved, let us ci.nc join attention. £am a little nun, come at ashoit notice, to preach a shoit seimon, from a shoit text, to a thin congregation, in an unwoithy pulpit. Beloved, my text is 'Malt.' l cannot divide it into .sentences, there being none, nor into woids there being one ; I must, thciefoie, of necessity, divide it into httt is, which I find m my text to be these Jour, MAL T. Mis moral, A is aHegoiieal, L is literal, T is theological. The moitil is to teach you rustics "good manneis ; thciefoie, M my masters, A all ot yon, L leave off. T tippling. The ' allcgoiic.il is when one thing is spoken of and anotlu r meant. The thing spoken of is malt, which your rustics make M your meat. A your apparel, L your libeity and T your tiust. The literal is accoiding to the letters, M much, A ale, L little, T trust. The theological is according to the effect it works ; in some M minder ; in otlieis A adultery ; in all. L looseness ; and in many, T treachery. I shall conclude the subject, first by way ot exhortation, M my mastei.s, A all o you, L listen Tto my text. Second, by way of caution. Mmy masteis, A all of you, L look for T tuith : which is tins : A diunkaid is the annoyance of modesty, the spoil of civility, the destitution of icison, the robbefs agent, the alehouse's benefactor, his wife's sonow, Ins childien'.s, tionble I> i — own sh.ime, Ins neighbors scoff, a walking -willbowl, thepictuie of a bea^t, the inoiMiT ot ii man." — Fiom the '• Penny Magazine, 1532. 1 ' Rvrs and Mick —]i you wish to de »tm\ them -ret i p.i< ket of Hit I V M \r. ( Yl'RMlv Xii i i i< in |i ukets, Od, Oil, .md Is, to be obt lined of ill si mk( epers, or from I. l'>. IlliL by enc losing .in evtia stamp. Lifh in TIU-. Br->n— Tir^N* and Now.— It is jii-ncr.illv supposed t h.n in ilie hush vvehave to put up with m.im disf omforrs ,md privations in till 1 sh.ipe of food l-'finiK rl\ it w.is sn, but now, thrinks lo T H. Hill, who lin"= liunself dwell in llic bush, if food dues rotT-ft rjiicflv of tinned in< .its lii« Coiosiai, .'"HI Ci j.'iM-s 'to them a fio.t (if!ct talile flt'vour, ni.ikiny them as well ol tin- plriim Ht food most ci jov.iblc, and instr.id as !i trd hi"' nils nnii indigestible tl.nnpi r his ImpumniCdinsni Mamno Powdim* makes the veiybest bread, scones, cakes, and pastrj far superior and more wliolesonin than yeast or leaven. Sold by all itorekcepnr* wlio can ob» tun it from nnj iwifimntin AucVland, I