She Knew Him Best.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1845, 3 May 1884, Page 6 (Supplement)

She Knew Him Best.

John William Blank belonged to the Ancient and" Moderty and Highly Ilonorable Sons of Guns of Detroit. If it wasn't that, it was some other fraternal order which meets every Monday night and pays so much to the heirs of every member who happens to die. John William happened to die the other month, and a committee was appointed to draft resolutions and present them to his wife in person. The first part of their duties was fulfilled to the entire satisfactiou of the lodge, but the committee had some little trouble in finding Mrs. Blank. They traced her from one neighbour to another, and finally found her at her sister's, hat and shawl on, and ready to go out. " Resolutions of sympathy, eh ! Well, read 'em." The chairman of the committee proceeded to read that John William was a good husband and a kind father, and a citizen of unapproachable integrity, when the widow interrupted : " Too much taffy ! We used to have a fight every week, and as for his being a kind fathor wo never had any children. As for his integrity, he stolo all the wood we burned last winter'! " The chairman gulped down something and continued to read that John Wjlliam was an upright brother, a man with a heart full of sympathy for the misfortunes of others, and that charity and forgiveness wore the beacon fires which guided his footsteps. " Fudge ! sneered the widow, " I washed for the money to pay his dues to the lodge, and all the sympathy anyono got out of him wouldn't buy a cent's worth of court-plaster! Foi'giveness ! Well, some of you ought to have sat down on his hat some time ! He'd have revenge if it cost him a year in State Prison. Beacon fires is purty good, considerin' that wo never had a decent stove in the house !" " Madam, your husband has been called hence." "Exactly; I was at tho funeral and ought to know." " He was cut down like a flower." "Well, flowers ought to let whisky and saloons, and plug-tobacco and old sledge alone." " And we trust that our loss is his gain." " Well, if ho's any better off, I'm glad on't, but I guess the gain is on your side. Now, that's all 'l want to hear. ' I can pick up a thousand better men than him with my eyes shut. I'm in a hurry to go down and see a woman who offers a fur-lined circular for 15d01., and if you have any more highfalutin Shakspeare to git off, my sister will take it in and save it till I come back !" — Detroit Free Press.