Authentic.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1830, 29 March 1884, Page 2 (Supplement)

Authentic.

CuoiiUb of excited boys — " Then the lightning struck you ?" Shipper (indifferently — " Oil, yes ; I was leaning agin the mainmast when it struck ii>. ' Excited boys :—": — " Didn't it kill you ?" Skipper (more indifferently) — " Wai, no ; it all ran down my back." Excited boys — "And what did you do then?" Skipper (most indifferently) — " I had to haul otf my boots and pour the lightning out on the deck:'— Life.

A cunii has one loot in the grave, but unle&s the cemetery is enlarged she will be unable to get the other one in. (Patent reversible joke; can be used either in Chicago or St. Louis.) — Rochester Post. A lady had in her employ an excellent gitl who had one fault. Her face was always in a praudge. Mrs. tried to tell her to wash her face without offending her ; and at last she resorted to strategy." "Do you know, Bridget,'' she remarked in a confidential man-" ncr, "that if you wash the face every day in hot soap and water it will make you beautifnl?" " Will it ?" answered the wily Bridget, " Sure, its a wonder ye niver tried it, mam." It is reported that throughout one of his books John Morley insisted upon printing the came of the Deity without a capital, whereupon one of his reviewers published his critique with fiequent mention of the author as mr. John morley. l?

It has been estimated that a policeman's eye performs 974 revolutions per minute when he is on the lookout for a pretty girl to escort across Kearney-street. A lady who had been travelling in Italy was asked by a friend how she liked Venice. "Oh 1 very much indeed," was the reply, " I was fortunate enough, however, to arrive there just at the time of a heavy flood, and we had to go about the stieets in boats."

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