ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1822, 11 March 1884, Page 4

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

The great source ot attraction during the past week has been the magnifieient steamship " Ruapehu," belonging to the New Zealand .Shipping Company, which has been discharging cargo at the end of the Queen-street \\ harf. She is splendidly fitted ttp, after the manner ot the best of the Union S.S. Company's vessels, but is very much larger. I could not im.igine a nioie enjoyable trip than one to England and back in such a steamer. What a change lias been made in our means of locomotion in the past lew years ! In the olden days people wishing to come to New Zealand had to take ship for Melbourne or Sydney, the ship, bowever, ha'mrr gcnei.illy a small barque or l)i ig, and then wait for a smaller vessel, generally a little schooner, to bring 1 them over lieie. The voyage from Kngland to Australia generally occupied from, four to six months, and that thence to New Zealand from a fortnight to a month, or perhaps even longer. 'Che mails came and went in the same way, and it was considered pietty smart work if a reply to a lettei 1 was received in less than a year from the time that the original letter was posted. Jn those days people seemed to be more anxious to get their letters than they are now. I remember when the postolh'ce used to be in o little wooden building in Piinces-street, where the Museum now stands, I think, theie used to be a continuous crowd of people there, waiting for letters. Of course, the mails wore not so quickly sorted then, and there A\as that admirable arrangement by which the public had to stand outside the Post Office, knock at a closed window, ask for their letters, and then wait as patiently as they could until the obliging cleik went to see if there were any letters for them. Perhaps the obliging cleik would take his lunch befoie coming back.

The last time I was in Melbourne I was surprised to see tliat the same wretched old system was still in vogue over there, though mc have had the counter system heie for about ten years — ever since the present Post Office was built on the site of that which was burned down. Ido not know whether it is true, but I was told while in Melbourne that the window system was begun in the days of the gold fe\or, as, with an open counter it was found that the diggeis had an awkward habit of jumping over and soiting the mails for themselves, and sometimes, like Handy Andy, they would take letters which did not belong to them, except by virtue of the glorious doctrine that " might is right." Archdeacon Edw.uds, of Dunedin has been giving his congiegation a lating for their paitiality foi thieepenny pieceias the oithodox and conect coin for the Church oflertones. Well! it does stem mem of people to give fom or fi\e shillings for a seat at the theatre, and only threepence for a seat in Clnuch, tor the people who have the stiongest paitisility for the thieepenny bit aie those who do not pay and pew-rent, but simply loaf on those who do. Unfoitunately for the cleigy they cannot do what the Hokitika paison did some yeais ago. He wont out to a steamer bound foi Melbourne ami asked the captain to oblige him with gold for £'20 of silver. The captain piomptly complied, with the lequest and then the paison told him that he had all the threepenny pieces that weie in ciiculation in Hokitika. The plan resulted in a large increase in the oflei tones at the Hukitika churches for some time aften\aid3, but it had a most pernicious efl'ect on the language of the bank cleik in Melbourne who had to count that silver.

Of course, tlicie is something to be said on beh.ilf oi tho->e who put the tlneepenny bits in the olfeitoiy. It the s-ing-mg is bad. the prayeis 1 aie gabbled thiough, <nid the seimon is long and piosy, a man does not feel disposed to follow the example of the donor of the " widow 's niito " and cast into the tieasuiy all that he has. A fuend of mine legulates his contribution to the oflertoi y by the length of the serniou. If it is finished in twenty minutes lie gives a shilling, it it lasts twenty-five minutes he ei\esbi\p"nce, if half an-hour he gnes the obnoxious threepenny- bit, and if longer than that, nothing. I cannot at all agree with this mode of valuing a sermon, a.s I have been heartily tired of one which occupied only twenty minutes to deliver, and yet have thoroughly enjoyed one which lasted an hour. It makes all the diffeience in the world whethei a seimon is good or bad, and whether it is well or badly delivered. I remember healing Dr. Kellynack, who has just come o\ei here on a visit, and who was called the "silver trumpet" on account of his clear voice, pi each in Sydney. It was a splendid sermon, and I thought a very shoit one until on looking at my watch I discovered that it had taken nearly an hour to deliver. Should that gentleman visit Waikato I should ad\ ibe all who can do so to go and hear him preach or lecture.

I was in hopes that we had clone with the licensing elections, ;it least for a year, but it seems that we have not, as notice has been given of objections to the validity of the elections in all the wards of the city with the exception of Graf ton. The objections are piincipally of a technical natutc, and I think that tho.se who have made then) have committed a stupid mistake. It seems probable that the elections will be upset on technical grounds, but I do not think that the position of matters will be much altered, though some of those who were elected have been playing into the hands of their opponents by making lash threats of sweeping changes. That theie is room for improvement in our city hotels and the way in which they are conducted is undeniable, but the improvement should be made giadually. There is in this city a considerable number of licensed houses totally umvoithy of the name of hotel, which Chambers's Dictionary defines as " a suppiior house for the accommodation of ttiaitgcrs," as they provide no accommodation whatever for stiangeis, with the exception of liquor (often very bad liquoi) and billiatd rooms. Of course, they are compelled by the Licensing Act to piovide a certain number of rooms in addition to those necessary for the use of the landlord and his family. Those rooms are provided, but if any stranger wishes to occupy one of them he is told that the house is full. The proprietors of those " hotels "should be compelled to comply with the spirit as well as the letter of the act or lose their licenses, and that has been the system adopted by the licensing committees during the past two years, but the newly-elected committees have threatened to close those houses without gi\ing the owners an opportunity of increasing the accommodation, which seems a most artilleiy proceeding. However, I think it very likely that " their baik is more than their bite," and I should have been disposed to let them have the power for one year and see what use they would have made of it.

There has been another sudden departure from our city, man who had been practising as a dentist having left in such a hprry that he had not time to say goodbye to his friends or to settle certain debts owing by him. Perhaps the worst feature in the case is that, just before his departure, he succeeded in obtaining from a gentleman connected with the "Evening Star" the sum of £50 as a premium for taking his son as an apprentice. Of course, the defaulter is liable to arrest on a charge of obtaining money under false pretences, but anyone who remembers the case of Simon Peter Harjes will know that it is a difficult and costly undertaking to arrest an ab-, sconder. By the way, his ill-gotjen gains did not do Harjes much good, as he died while on his way homefrom Adelaide after his liberation from gaol.

Tli ore haa been a lively row in the, HwjJQnr Board over the appointment 9$

an engineer to superintend the construe' tion of the Calliope Point Dock. On the 2lst nit., the board elected Mr Errington to the position, much to the chagrin of some ot tlie members, one of whom, Mr •J. M. Claik, gave notice of a motion to rescind the resolution. The motion came on for consideration at the fortnightly meeting of the board on Tuesday, when Mr Claik proved by the records of the board that Mr Errington had shown his incompetoncy when he was engineer for the present dock, but, in spite ot that proof, the chairman aud five other members voted against the rescinding of the resolution, ■which was negatived by the casting vote of the chairmnn. Though the motion was lost, I believe it will have s[ood efleft, as the six members who supported it will certainly sciutinise very carefully the plans prepared by Mr Errington, and the work carried out under his supervision. It is very pleasant for the members of a public body like the Harbour Board when they can work amicably together, but sometimes it is better for the interests of the community that there should be an organised, though not a captious, opposition. Such an opposition has now, I believe, been formed in the Harbour Board, and I believe that the interests of the public will be better conserved by its formation. St. Mungo.

" A captain's chest picked up at sea," is announced in a New York paper. He was probably blown to pieces in some of the recent gale 1 ?, and the rest of him will be picked up later. Humphrey Hubbard had heard Hepzibah Higging humming hymns liilariou&ly, he having helped Hepzibah homeward. Humphrey hankered hugely, harboring handsome Hepzibah heartwise. He had high hawthorn hedges hiding his handsume house ; harnessed horses hauling hanows— he hoeing hills, helping heidsmen, hewing hemlocks, hacking hemp, hai vesting hops, hunting hawks, hinting hatching liens. Hepzibah—helpful housekeeper — hemmed handkerchiefs, hoarded honey hitherto hived, heeled hose having holes, handled harpsichord harmoniously ; happy Hepzibah ! Her honest homely happiness hit Humphrey heavily. lie hovered, handsomely habited, hinting humbly how Hep/.ibah had harried his heart. Hepzibah honored his hearty homage. Hating, however, haphazard haste, Hepzibah hung her head halting, hemming, hawing, hoping Humphrey had harmless habits — hypocritical, hesitating Hepzibah ! He held her hand hopefully, hungrily humoring her. Happily Hepzibah heeded her hirsute hero. Hymen hitched Humphrey Hubbard — Hepzibah Higging ; he hugged her, happily hysterical ! Henceforth husband helped housewife hop hornpipes, holding honeymoon holiday, hardly hearing Harlequins howling hallelujahs, hailing house-warming. Ha !Ha! Ho ! Ho ! Bkit-tta, we aic told, is becoming a popular bar drink in Omaha. Everybody drinks beef- tea, and pays 13 cents for it. One vendoi says that he aveiages one bundled di inks per day, and is always increasing. But Omaha i^, unhappily, a long way off, and stories do becon.e magnified by tiavel. What are the possibilities of that story ? Probably just this ;— A ceitain hat keeper getting well of a fever drank beet-tea in his bar, and half-a-do/cn diam-diinkeis oxpiesbed a desiie to join him, and his wife made tea for them all, and he said if lie had a hundied drinks of tea he could sell them all, and so ! A MoDhKX Martyr. — A recent writer in one of the leligiovs journals tells the following story of (Sister Simplice, a nun of the Cider of Bon Secouis: — Five yeais ago she had in charge the little childien of a gentleman of and near Paris. She was walking with them in thcirgai den when a sound in theshrubbery near by caused her to stait and turn pale. She knew that the fierce dog \\ Inch the owner of the chateau should have kept chained must have freed himself. There was still time enough ; she could easily reach a pin cc of .safety. Ah, but the childien! she will not leave them. She gathers them about her huriiedly, and perhaps gains a few yards towards the house. It la too late. The huge cieature is in sight, bounding towards them with red eyes and foaming mouth — mad. What did she do ? There was but one thing for a Sister of Good Help to do. With one grand sweep she thrust the children behind her, and crying aloud for aid, but never yielding an inch, faces the brute without a quiver. He sprang upon her ! her little hands are entwined in his long hair, while the savage, cruel jaws open and close viciously. Perhaps the children cried ; perhaps you could hear nothing but the snarl of the dog as he bit, and the poor cries of the little Sister now growing very weak ; but she would not let go her hold, for there were the childien. I wish you could hear the story as we heard it, in tremulous broken English, from her who herself nursed Sister Simplice during the month of agony through which she lived. Just before her death she turned to those by her bed and paid : " I am so glad — I — could do it. I would do it— acain— again — ," PobTAL Statistics — The statistics of the Uni\ ersal Postal Union for the yenr 18S1, collected and published by the International Bureau at Berne, shows that in number of Post Offices the United States ranks first, with 45,512 offices, and Great Britain next with 14,918 offices. Japan is far in advance of Russia, British India, Australia, Italy and Spain in the number of her Post Offices, having 5064. Switzerland ranks first in the relative proportion beeween the number of Post Offices and the population, having an average of 985 inhabitants to each Post-Office ; The United States have 1126 ; Norway has 2054, and Great Britain 2362 inhabitants for each office. In the number of letters conveyed by mail Great Britain ranks first, with 1,259,354,800 : the United States next, with 1,046107,348 ; then Germany 563,225,700, and France with 545,541,373. The Aigentiue Republic stands at the bottom of the list. The United States conveyed more postal cards than any other country ; Germany came next, followed by Great Britain and Austra. In respect to the number of letters and postal cards to each inhabitant, the countries ranked as follows ; Great Biitain, 38.7 ; the United States, 2".3 ; Switzerland, 19.9; Germany, 10.9. The United States had 91,571 miles of railroad ; Germany has 20.573 ; Fiance, 16,822 ; and Russia, 14,438 miles. In number of newspapers conveyed in domestic mails, the United States ranks first, with 753,180,972; German second, with 439,059,900 France third, with 320,188,636, and Great Britaiu fourth, with 140, 759, 100. jn respecttothe amount of gross postal revenue, Germauy takes the lead with 305,324,215 francs ; the United States next, with 194,630,444 francs ; Great Britain thiid, with 175,690,000, and France fourth, with 152,9<38,5G9 francs, Great Britain, Germany and France had a net revenue in 1881 ranging from 65,525,100 francs to 19,900,440 f i ancs. but the United States Russia and Japan, had a deficiency in revenue in the same year ranging from 14,418,075 to 1,320,846 francs. One Shilling.— Francis J. Shortts' Popular Art Union.— Ten first-class Oil Paintings by celebrated artists. 5000 tickets at Is. The prizes are magnificent and costly. Country subscribers sending stamps or otherwise will have tickets by leturn post. Enclose stamped envelope for reply. — Fkancis J. Shouxt, WO, Queen -street, Auckland. — [Advt.] Rats and Mice.— lf you wish to destroy them get a packet of Hill's Magic Vermin Kili p.r in packets, Cd, 9d, and Is, to be obt.iined of all storekeepers, or from T. B. Hiil by enclosing an exti a stamp. J Lifk in the Bnsii — Then and Now. — It is generally supposed that in the bush we have to put up with many discomforts and privations in the shape of food. Formerly it was so, but now, thanks to T. B. Hill, who has himself dwelt in the bush, if food docs consist chiefly of tinned meats his Colonial Sauce gives to them a most delectable flavour, making them as well , of the plainest food most enjoyable, and in'ttead as hard biscuits and indigestible damper hit Improved Colonial Baking Powder makes the very best bread, scones, cakes, and, pastry far superior and more wholesome than feast or eavep, Sold by all storekeepers who can ob« tain \{ {row any merchant & Auckland;