CLIPPINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1812, 16 February 1884, Page 4

CLIPPINGS.

Iftff^itaWdiWiWies' tl)6 opening story come* " tale" first. The plutikiost man' of ! ancient times was Tantalus— he never took water. f^^cbkjitjk clicked stockings are the most striking. Tub voice of the gossip is more than Bkteeu scandal power. DoOBLE-TwisT yarn is by no means spuntaneous. While all the letters of the English alphabet arc regularly employed, twenty - two of them are always out of " Work." It is a difficult matter to determine which the young man fears the more, her big brother or her little brother. , When they as'W Miss Imitator if her sealskin sacqne was real she plushcd and saidcit was. 'V'l say* Jim, which would you rather — that a lioii tore you to pieces or a tiger ?" , " Why, you goose, of course I'd rather a lion tore a tiger to pieces." "Ah!" remarked Fog, as he gazed bashfully at the ballet-girls, "now I understand the full significance of the passage, "The body is more than raiment." Ait exchange notes the fact that a complete piece of music can now be bought for the same price as a five-cent cigar. Yes, but the bother of it is, it's just about the same quality. A Carson city photogatpher treats each customer who will take it to a drink of liquor, in order to get the proper " pleasing expression Oil the face." It is a very clever idea to make a " smile to produce a smile. " Wai/Tkk," said Mrs Particular to her son, whom she found eating grapes in the garden, " you must not swallow the skms of your grapes. It's bad for you to eat them." " Butdosen't it make the yard look neater !" asked Walter. When* we have contracted a stiff neck by sitting in the draught engendered by the fan of a laily who sits behind us at the theatre, we almost wish she had sat in, front of us, halo hat, feathers and all. ." Yes," said the society young man, 11 1 think she is a charming young girl, and such a brilliant conversationalist ! I talked with her for upwards of ten minutes the other evening, and we didn't refer to the weather but just once during the whole time. A Philadelphia publishing house advertises a certain writer as " the popular American female authoress." Lest there should still be doubt as to the sex of the person, it might not be out of place, perhaps, to add that this female authoress is a she woman. Two doctors were disputing by the bedside of a patient. "I tell you the liver is diseased," said one. " Nonsense ; nothing of the kind. It is the spleen." " Very well ; we. shall see at the post mortem who is in the right." Great sensation on the part of the patient, whom, in the heat of the argument, they had quite forgotten. " Anythim; else, sir ?" said the grocery man. " I guess not," said the customer. Let's see : I've ordered sugar coffee, flour and smoking tobacco. That's all to-day, I believe." " Don't you want to try a couple of No. 1 mackerel? I've just got in a new kit." " No,' I won't take any," was the reply '• None of the family caro for mackerel except my wife's nother." " Father, do they call you Hon. John Johnson because you ha\ c been in the Legislature?" "Yes, my son" There was a long pause as the Republican patriot finished and sealed his letter, and then he suddenly asked, "Why, my sou ?" "0, I didn't know whether it was because you had been in the Legislature and held free railroad passes, or because j'ou got a job of budding a county jail, and made §13,000 out of it ! The next boy who says yon arc 'Hon.'beciii^o you stole §13,000 is going to get licked !" "Death's Head vt the Fju^t." — In connection with the Lord Mayor's festivities in London la&t November — Placards posted up at Clerkenv ell called on the unemployed woil% people of London to organise huge meetings to denounce the servile rcvelleis who feast while thousands of men, women, and children are starved to death. The bitter diatiibe ended thus: — ' M.my who \\\\\ paitake of this night's feast lme fattened and grown rich out of the rents of the filthy .slums which disgrace this city. Woise boused than the beasts of the field, starving and wretched, our poverty dealt with as a crime, membcts of the workhouse and prison walls.' The police, it is said, Erevented a Socialist pi ocession, with a lack flag iusciibed ' Staivation,' approaching the Guildhall during the Lord Mayor's banquet." It appears after all that Turkey is to be permitted to take an impoitant part in the Soudan aff.ur. A perfect understanding is said to evist between the Sultan and Gladstone about extending Turkish authoiity on the western shore of the Rod Sea. Piepaiatious arc now actively going on to despatch to Jcddah a much larger number of troops than was originally contemplated. Oiders have been sent to the Turkish squadron to rendezvous at Jeddah and await the arrival of troops. Twenty-five army surgeons have been appointed for service at Suakim, and will start immediately. The advance guard of the Turkish army has orders to occupy Suakim the moment Baker Pasha's forces start for the interior. Such is the warlike news which a Herald correspondent forwards to his journal, so that when it is remembered that England is going to send a small army into Egypt, besides the force she already has there, it looks as if things are to be made pretty hot for El Mahdi. A Russian attempt on India has so often declared to be a vision which no Russian ever entertained that the discovery of a plan of such an invasion is a matter of gieat inteiest. The Geneial is of opinion that if such an entei prise wholly succeeded Russia could destioy the British Empire in India, which, he goes so far as to say, would he the beginning of the downfall of England itself ! But even in the event of the enterprise not wholly succeeding — that is to say if India itself should not rise — and the Russians should no manage to get into the country, still according to Skobeleff, the latter would nevertheless, tie the whole Indian army to Hindostan and prevent the English irom transporting part of this army to Europe, if indeed, she did not have to send some portion of her European ti oops to India. Futhermore, the General is of opinion that the campaign ought to fall into two periods — first, that of swift action and a swoop on Cabul ; second, a period of waiting during which the disaffected elements of India might be converted to Russian purposes, " And, finally," exclaims the enthusiastic Skobeleff, " it would be our chief duty to organize masses of Asiatic cavalry, and, hulling them on India as our vanguard, under the banner ' Blood and rapine,' thus bring back the times of Tamerlane."' A very pretty picture truly, but one never to be realized. A Vanished Harbour. — Some time ago the Sultan of Morocco, in a fit of cheap generosity, ceded to Spain a port which all the ingenuity of the Spanish Admiralty has never succeeded in findJluj^, Another place is now reported to have - "softly and .silently vanished away." While preparing a new map of the Customs districts, the Treasury Department of the United States recently discovered name of a certain port of entry,' which, although it figured on the official lists, was not mentioned on any map of modern date. The Coast Survey Bureau' could not specify the whereabouts of the missing harbour ; but it was finally established that there had once been such' a placeiu Maryland, and^ tbat it had been washed away by the sea 50 years ago. Yet, up to last .month the place was borne upon the Treasury books as one of the ports of entry of the United Stores j and, moreover, a person calling himself collector of the port, had been" dr^inj^Jhjs,, salary with the most unfailing^egulifijrityif for a quarter of a century OE^tngqq. cap some of , the, wesl-kngvv», [: ~ rfioma about , English , bdroug^n,'^pd municipal corporations be*, jfre tftf ftofoYm Bill of 1933.

" Do you knotf,' r flffsfefr," said a fond mother to her little boh at an uptown table d'hote, "• thnt"thV i w'ofc'T menu means bill of fni'c in French. "Oh, yes, irtainma," was the ! mischievous reply, " me mi it 1" Mamma turned pale and allied for water.— New Yoik Commercial Advertiser. A number of terra-cotta figures, mostly imitations of Tnnngro. figtiiitics, discovered by peasants of Myrina, have been added to the collections of the Louvre. The most remarkable is a large one of a dancer, perfectly preserved, and another one representing naked Venus with a vase near her. Thk exhibition of Reynolds' pictures at the Grosveuor Gallery on Jan. 1 promised to be highly interesting. Many a canvas which had been buried for years in the gloomy galleries of English collections were to be brought to light. Among those who promised to exhibit were the Dukes of Bedford, Cleveland, Hamilton, and Portland, the Earls Amheist and Spencer, and the Earls of AlbemniU 1 , Essex, Moiley, Powis, Sheffield, Warwick, and Y.irborough. A prktty soubrette tells the following: Papa, mamma and the baby are at supper. Papa is scolding mamma for her extravagance and fri\ olous outlay of money for ill esses, bonnets, etc. The combined salaiics amount to but a modest sum, papa and mamma not having attained fame as yet. Baby is as noisy as a naughty boy can be, but nevertheless has not lost one %\ ord of the mercuiial conversation. Suddenly papa strikes his fist upon the table, exclaiming : "Shut up, you brat, and learn to behave, or I'll put you into boaiding-scool." Baby looks leproachingly at papa, and, shrugging his little shoulders, sighs ; "'More expenses."

Dis4Pfointkd Jockeys. — Two years ago, after Foxhall's Cambridgeshire victory, the most extravagant stories were circulated respecting his owner's gifta to tiainer, jockey, and all concerned, which stories were entirely untrue. It seems to have been very much the same kind of thing in the case of Bcndigo. French, his trainer, announces that he did mt receive a present of £1,000, as has been stated, and that he has severed his connection with Mr Barclay because he only received 40 to 1 to £12 10s ; the arrangement was that he was to be " on " a pony at these odds.

Lkvp Ykar. — Nice room, easy chair, old bach sitting there. Ohl bach begins to snore, gentle lap at the door. Enter maid lather old, with a look of love untold. Converse awhile this and that, close by him old maid sat. Soon she talked sentimental, he didn't care continental, dhe got mad, began to cry. Other tactics thought she'd tiy. Years you've called every night, as if you had perfect ri^ht. When you came, Loid only knows. Never once did you proprose. Now 'tis Leap Year, by heaven above, I shall tell you ot my love. Then there was an awful crash, he had leaped through the sash. Funeral next day at eleven, old bach safe in heaven.

Geysers ov the Yellow.stoxe.—A report has been published on the thermal springs and geyeers of the Yellowstone district, which is attracting so much attention through the opening of the Atlantic and Pacific Railway, and President Arthur's visit in person to the remaikable region. The total number of hot springs in the National Paik is about thiee thousand, of which about seventy «ue gey&eis. The following throw up water to a height of 200 feet, or beyond : The Giant, 200 ; the (Jastle, •200 ; the Ui.md, 200 ; the Giantess, 200 ; and the Beehive, 230. The jet of *'■ Old Faithful" i-> 1.10 tout. Thetheoi yof Bunseu as to the action of geyhcis is in the main accepted by the repoit, but explanation is mjuiied for some observed phenomena, Foi example, in OKI Faithful and Beehive the action i& simule, and consists of a water eruption in successive jets which follow each other rapidly without a succeeding period of steamjemissions. In Castle Geyser, on the othpr hand, the water eiuption id followed by a steam period ot considerable length. In .ill otheis, undei each of these divisions the watei peuod is bioken into a number of water ejections, with \aryini? intervals of minutes or lioius, while the regular interval in the w ater periods is a day to sevei .il days. — Engineei ing.

TIRRIBLB TREATMENT OF BrACKS. — A correspondent Elites to the Sydney Town and Country (Journal as follows;: — "I wish to draw your attention to a subject which seemingly has been ovei looked, that is, the tieattnent which the unfortunate aboriginals of North Australia receive from white mei>. I know in cities like Sydney and Melbourne, on the Sabbath the air resounds by the clang of church bells, dm ing the week ladies may be seen in the streets collecting money to assist tlio piopagation of the Gospel in the Southern sea&. These facts lead us to beliovo that we aie, as our Great Master intended us to be, but what does anyone with a thinking mind travelling thiough Northern Queensland think of Christianity, lllustiious as it is, but teinbly perverted. Our poor blacks are nch neither in wine nor oil, but they werurich in good laud. The faiiest on God's eaith for unknown centimes, it belonged to them until invaded by the whites. What is thciesult? A people of whom the fitst iccoids of explorers piove that they wsre piofoundly hospitable, h«i\e become to-day muiderers, and why so ? Their beautiful valleys and plains are taken from them. If they show the-ns-elvcs, on the river frontages they are shot. The only places the poor unfortunates have to live on are the Spinifex Mountains, where to day they are starving. I can pio\ c it, and further, that is is considered spoi t to go through the mountains and find the blacks camped, in order to lound them up to take then gins away in slaseiy. I regret to say it, but a traffic exists to-day by the sale and e\change of blacks equal to what existed in America. For instance, the blacks are so diiveu to the heads of creeks and rallies, that their only chaues of getting a diink of water is by coming down in the night. You could not give me room for what I see, and what I hear, but I trust that your pen representing the fourth estate will take up the matter, and do justice to the question now at issue."

Tnh Family of the German Crown Privce. — Tlie eldest child, William, was brought up together with his brother, Henry, by Dr. Hinzpetcr, of whose wisdom and conscientiousincss it would be difficult to say too much. From the first at the parents' desire, the aims of education were fixed very high indeed. No half-knowledge. They must be examined rigonrously and by strangers before they could be allowed to enter the Latin School at Cassel, to which, with a heavy heart the parents sunendered them for several years' severe schooling. When Mr. Hinzpeter gave up his pupils the elder to University life, the younger to the naval profession, he had the satisfaction to see them reckoned among the most diligent and successful scholars of the Cassel High School, Like all Hohenzollerns, the Emyjeror's youthful grandson and heir is now doing military.] service at Potsdam, whither he led, in 1881, the lovely Princess Victoria of Augustenburg. The Crown Prince says of his' first daughter-in-law : "Nobody can measure, the blessing that has entered our family with her." Like his younger brother, Prince William loves the sea, shipbuilding, and applied mathematics. But how could he be spared for the navy when grim tradition was already put 'out of humour t>y this yonugGSt branch of the national defences taking oneof the family away from the army, Prussia's mainstay ? Prince Heinrich is reckoned to be one of the pluckiest sailors afloat, t ojnjoyjing his, life supremely, ( and, Nowhere disguising lusconviotion^haj;, tl}e German navy is Buperiprito any other in the world,. ,

One - Shilling. r-Fi-aucisi J. Popular Art Union.— Ten first-class Oil Pajnt,-, ings by celebrated artists. 5000 tickets at Is. The prUes are magnificent and costly. Country subscribers sending* stantpi'tof.'d'thorWise will have tickets .by return post. Enclose itamped anvlloW for f«pfrAp|AlcM t J. ? SllD«tt} WK

, A peasant named Jamei Zygelof hit just died at Odessa aged 147 years Hit son is still aliv-e at. the ago of 115 ; ho has ft graudso^of 85/ and rf great-grandson of 40 years. ; %s % s , f ' A Ivvo-.spa>* bridge on the Mexican Cential road, near Aquas Calientes, reently fell with a construction train of 18 cars and two engines. Engineers Dileury and Hopkins and three Mexicans were killed. Wk wish there were not such a stigma upon old maids. We are sure many a girl would remain unmarried only for th.ifi. As it is, they look on marriage as a sort of redemption from obloquy. Why should there not be some way of getting, or even purchasing, the prefix, Mrs., as officers purchase their step ?— Truth.

London tkaixs.— No fewer than tiro thousand two hundred trains leave thestation of London every twenty-four hours. Of these trains, which arc despatched daily, one thousand seven hundred and fifty serve the suLurbs and a suburban region of thirty miles round the city. Fifteen leave for Scocland and Ireland, and sixteen for the continent. Three hundred and twelve trains start from Victoria Station, three hundred and twenty one from Liverpool street, and three hundred and ninety-five from Broard Btreet. Between ten in the morning and eleven at night, sixteen hundred trains start from the various railway termini in London, and two a minnte all day long not including the trains on the Metropolitan and Metropolitian District. Such is the published calculation of a statistician.

The Battie-flacs of Scotland. —The martial instincts of this military city were deeply stirred yesterday on the occasion of the depositing in St. Giles' Cathedral of a number of the old colours of Scottish regiments. A movement to this end was begun a year ago by MajorGeneral Alastair Macdonnld, the commander of the Forces in Scotland. In all 57 stands of colours were traced, but it was found that the possessors of them both public and private, would not part with them. However, 15 stands were obtained, and were yesterday lodged in the Cathedral ; while the re version has been promised of five more which are still seeing service. The Duko of Cambridge came specially to take part in the ceremony, adding much to its eclat. II wus a\fo fitting that two of the most distinguished Scottish regiments in the army — the .Scots Greys and 93rd Gordon Highlanders, which are now quartered here — took part in the proceedings. A tremendous crowd lined every possible point of view, and the enthuoiasin was of the most glowing description. As the colours were borne out of the Castle, hats were doffed, and when they entered the Cathedral the whole assemblage rose en masse. The proceedings were brief and partly of a religious character, but for which the cheering would have been immense. The Duke of Cambridge made a brief, soldierly ! speech, in the course of which he said that the Queen had specially authorised him to state that she concim-ed most fully in the movement. Some of the colours were in tatters, having seen mauy fields of battle from Wellington's Peninsular campaigns downwards. Others were in a wonderfully peifecfcconditiou. Eggs in the United States nutst no longer be looked upon as the genuine pioduction of fowls ; and, if a paragraph in a Boideaux paper may be believed, oysters are no longer oysters. The paper we allude to reveals the fact that the much-esteemed bivalve has a fabricated competitor in the market so nearly like the re.il article that deception may be readily practiced upon the public who consume the marine delicacy. Imitation oysters have 101115 before this been manufactured, ami the only difficulty in I the way of their almo&t universal adoption seems to have been the making of the substance to adhere to the shell. This problem has now been successfully solved by somebody, who with an ingenuity worthy of a better cause has made a kind of glue, compobed of various substances, by which the soft part of the oyster can be nude to adhere to the shell, presenting all the appearance of the genuine cartilage. Numbers of these manufactuied oysteis are pissed of on the Palis public, and, as copper enters largely into their composition, the result may be easily imagined. Our faith is aheady rudely shaken in the matter of chickens and eggs. If oysters are to be spurious, what shall we believe in, seeing that coffee, tea, butter, wine, milk, etc., are not what they are supposed to be ?

Captain Armit writes to the Argus : — " The action of the Queensland Government in annexing the island has drawn the attention - of tho world to New Gvinea. Already white people are on tho island in search of land and timber. These parties are armed to the teeth : one party can boast of sixteen magazine rifles. A fracas may occur at any moment, yet there is no responsible Government to protect tho natives or the whites. England innst annex. She has no excuse whatever for standing aloof. The people look to her for protection, and should she withold suoh protection her honour will be tranished with the indelible stain of innocent blood shed by h«r subjects in one of the most beautiful islands under the sun. It is imperative that all dealings between individuals and the natives for laud should be forbidden at once. There is no necessity at all for colonising New Guinea. England in annexing the islands merely adds some millions of native subjects to her crown. These must remain in full possession of their rights, and it will be found easier to deal with the chiefs, and with them only, than to h<ivu transactions with individuals. Such a course will enhance the power and influence of the chiefs, who in their turn will find it to their interest to look to the Government tor support. I cannot enlarge here on the scheme I have in my mind. Suffice it is to say that the sooner some responsible officer lands in New Guinea the better it will be for the Papuan race.

A Flaw in the Bankruptcy Act. — The Christchurch Telegraph points out what appeare to be a serious flaw in the new Bankruptcy Act. Clause 137 protesses to give as all similar Acts do, a certain amount of protection to employes for the payment of their wages by insolvent employers, but the clause is so worded that the object it is intended to achieve can be completely frustrated. It gives priority to the following over all other claims except claims for rent : "1. All wages or salary of any clerk or servant in the employment of the bankrupt at the date of the order of adjudication, and not exceeding three months' wages or salary, and not exceeding £100, 2. All wages of any artisan, labourer, or workman, whetherskilled, ornotin the employ mentof thebankruptatthe dateof the order of adjudication, and not exceeding three months' wages at current rates. 3. All wages of any artisan, labourer or workman, whether skilled or unskilled, in the employment of the bankrupt at piecework at the date of the order of adjudication, and not exceding the am'oun^earned at such piecework in the three Jnonths preceding such order." The Telegraph points out that the words, thrice repeated, "in the employment of the bankrupt at the date of the order of adjudication" vitiate the clause, and cites a case that has already occurred, in which day labourers lost their preference from not being in the bankrupt's employmeut at the date of his adjudication.

Rats and Mice.— lf you wish to destroy them get a packet of Hill's Magic Vermin Kili.kk in packets, 6d, Od, and Is, to be obtained of all storekeepers,' or from .T. B, HilC by enclosing an extia stamp. Life in the Bush— Thex axd Now.—

It is generally supposed that id the' bush we have to put up with many discomforts and privations in the shape oi food. Formerly it was so, but now, thanks to T. B; Hill, ,who,<has himiolf dwelt iri'the bush, if foo'd 'does consist chiefly' of tinned meats his Colonial Sauce gives to them a most delectable flavour, making- them as well of the plainest food most enjoyable, and instead as hard biscuits and indigestible damper hj« Im-, provid Colonial' BAkiOiG Powdkr intakes the very best bread, >£cones, cakejf,| and; p^try; far superior and more wholesome ftap:,MP^P.,r;