AN ASTONISHING PIECE OF NEWS,

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1811, 14 February 1884, Page 4

AN ASTONISHING PIECE OF NEWS,

'• Have you heavd^of the new order ?" WliHt new 'order ?" eagerly asked tho r repoiter, making a move for his pencil. " Why, that the Government is 'no going to issue the post cards any lopger. "Js that so?" said the reporter, very much interested., and this lime pulling out a gieat slab of soft paper and a stubby pencil. " Th.it's a fact ; they will not be made any loi gcr." Delighted he had obtained some news before the other papers, the reporter asked in a whispsr, " Where did you get your information ?" " Will, we haven't any official information yet, but we know it is so." " That will be a great hardship to the poor people,'' ventured the reporter. " I don't see how it will," replied the official. " I suppose it was done because they do not pay ?" " I don't know." "No ; that wasn't the reason they decided not to make them no longer," spoke up another official. Well, what is the reason then ?" asked the now desperate reporter. " Why, simply because they are long enough now. The Government and the people are very well satisfied with the piesent length." The door closed with a bang, as the reporter slid out.

It is estimated ihat there are now upwards of three million of women in the United Kingdom earning wages, A Determined Man. —The editor of the Louisville Courier Journal has been thrown into wild spasms of terror by the fact that a ladies' dre&s reform association in England, composed ot eminently respectable women, and by the Viscountess Habberton proposes to do away with the present style of female apparel and don the masculine trousers, and he shrieks in dismay: — "We are willing that they shall have the ballot when they convince us that they want it ; we are willing that they shall give us the whole width of the stieet crossing and take to the mud ; we are willing that they shall lesign to us their seats in the horse cars and other public places, and receive in return our placid disiogard ; we are even willing that they shall crawl out of bed Hi stand kindle the fire in thy. morning; but by the holy hide of the sacred bull, we will cling to our pantaloons. " Till the .stars aie old, And the sun grows c jld, And our last callus button shall lose its hold !" Mr Alm-v-Tadema has been surprised to find his work represented in the catalogue of the Munich International Art Exhibition by two paintings utterly unknown to him, he having been the victim of forget ics. "Wh.it was the trouble between you and another puty, Mike, on the avenue last evening?' enquired an Austin citizen of his Hibernian porter. 'Well, yer see, aur, it was a bit of hesitation on his part,' A bit of hesitation?' Yes, sur. You sre I gave him the choice ay my two fists, an 1 he seemed to hesitate loike, an' when I bee he couldn't make up his rnoind, I jist gave him the two ay 'em for luck, It is proposed to form an Ebers' Gallery in Dresden, ia honour of the famous no vi list. George Ebers, and formed entirely of pictures inspired by passages in his works. Several of the leading German aitists are now at work on drawings for this purpose, and the result will be reproduced in photography and given to the public in the form of an an " Ebers' Album." The only English aitist who lias been umted to contribute is Mr Alina-Tadcma, who has just finished and sent to Germany a \ery fine composition taken from that scene in "Homo Sum" where the old pnest Menandcr, in discussing the games with the novice, is filed by early memories of the gymnasium, and, throwing ofF his robes, hulls the stone as he did long years 1 efore, while he was still a heathen. Of the 45,000 persons arrested in Palis last only 6000 weie women. In the Bridgrwater (Victoria) district there is (according to the Col.ic Reformer) an abundant growth of a new and strange herbage plant that made its appearance in the district some few years ago, and established itself to the great advantage of owners of stock. It is popularly and affectionately spoken of as " Jack Hollis," but it is now getting to be called wild prairie grass. At the present time it stands eight or nine inches high in the Biidgewater paddocks the plants standing close together. It can be mown like oats. It grows in tussocks, and has the power to fix loose sands. It grew all through last winter, and is now coming into ear where it has been kept down by stock. Cattle are very fond of it, and, the best thing of all, rabits will not come near where it is. The New York Herald says that a million dollars is spent on a single Sunday by the excursionists in that city. Peoplk have nowadays got so used to to the gently persuasive influence of dynamite that the topic is almost too commonplace for reference in Passing Notes. Dynamite has become a recogfactor in politics ; and political agitation would bp pointless unless the explosive were cither used or threatened. We look in our morning papers for the last dynamite outiage, tolerably certain of finding it there, together with the report of yesterday's Police Court ami the latest weather forecast. Thanks to the industrious Fenian and the energetic Nihilist, we are seldom disappointed In consequence of this deplorable state of things the cablcgiam announcing that the Prince of Wales has narrowly escaped being " dynamited " in a railway tunnel, is merely " intelligence " instead of "startling news," as it would have been some yeais ago. Still it is rather to bad that the«e benevolent attentions should be extended from Czars and Secretaries of State and made to include members of our Royal Family, who are perfectly constitutional, and therefore harmless as babes. The Prince of Wales, so far as our friends the Fenians are concerned, has nothing at all to do with it, and what is more he never will have. He is not a "grand old man," neither is he a Secretary of State for Ireland. He is merely a gentleman popular in society, with a cultivated taste in music, the fine arts and the drama ; arid is moreover said to improvise very prettily upon the banjo. It seems hard that under these circumstances His Royal Highness cannot be permitted to pursue his innocent recreations undisturbed. Of course, in these advanced times bureaucratic statesmen or autocratic sovereigns have to run the gauntlet. Popular opinion must have expression, and if such a one finds a bombshell in his coffee cup or a torpeJo between his bed sheets, he must simply regard it as an indication that popular opinion is for the moment against him. A philosopher will in time rise superior to these trifles (of course, presuming that he is not raised prematurely by the aid of gun-cotton). Still, non-combatants should be exempt, and therefore — independently of loyal feeling — I pity tho Prince. — Oivis. Rats and Mick.— lf you wish to destroy them get a packet of Hill's Magic Vermin Killi-r in packets, 6d, 9d, and Is, to be obtained of all storekeepers, or from T. B. Hill by enclosing an extia stamp. One SHiLXiNG.-*-FrauciB J. Shortts' Popular Art Union.— Ten first-class Oil Paintings by celebrated 'artists. 5000 tickets at Is. The prizes are magnificent and costly. Country subscribers sending stamps or otherwise will have ticket! by return post. Enclose stamped envelope for reply. — Fkancts J. Shoutt, 140, Queen-street, Auckland. — [Advt.] Life in the Bush-— Then; and Now. — It is generally supposed that in the bush we have to put up with many discomforts and privations in the shape of food. Formerly it was so, but now, thanks to, T. -JB.'HxLt,C,wbV-<has himself dwelt in the bush, if food does consist chiefly of tinned meats his Colonial Sauce gives to them a most delectable flavour, making them as well of tho plainest food most enjoyable, and .instead as hard biscuits and indigestible damper hiiVltf- . proved CoijOni AV Baking', Po;winut r rniitsi, 1 tfeo yery best 1 breadf "scones , cakeVl' iaiia 'pastr/.^wt'^ superior and >n)'ore| • whb!e«cmoyfcH£n>Ve^(r °V