CLIPPINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXI, Issue 1772, 13 November 1883, Page 4

CLIPPINGS.

Why are there no female bill c 'Hoctors ? — Because a wonrufs work is never dun. A NK(;no being n&ked what he was in j.-gaoUpiysaul it ff.is for l>oi jovvin^ money rt Biifc, >)S saitl the questioner, " they don't put people in for lion owing money." ,*' )Tcs," said the daikcy, " bat I li.td to ' 'fcnWc!(Hh6 man down fur or fo' times be foic lie would lend it inc." l<? Y\K, yon may come .vjjain next Hun , day 'evenviij ; lmt"--iml she hesitated ; " What is it. dailin<_'? J'l.ivc 1 given 'you' pain ?" ho asked, as she still icm lined sihnt. " Y(m didn t nie'in to. I'iri sure," bhe respoudeel, " Imfc (.he neJ tini 1 , pka<o don't wear one, ot (line collars with the points tuuiuit,' outw.rd , they sci. tJi so " Tm: No«>. -Th» nddivws of a certain young man baying bcci declined by a. younj lii'iy, he puu toint U> hci bitter '" How much yon icseinl.le voui sister !' said ho, on the evening ot the fiihteall- " Yoa have got the <-amu h.ur «\nd the same foieluad, an i the same eyes " " And the same noes," she added quickly, tie has stopped calling at the house. EIISEST LoNGFKLUnV, the poet's aOl), lias innde a selection of twenty ot lib father's poems which he w.ll illustrate, The subjects .110 mostly landscipes, and the pictures will be made of the scones themselv es. Wittnt. the Bishop of J'ofcrlioioiiiih lay unconscious at the point ot death, a tapui lamp which was kept burning <n the cathedral touvi was swayed by the wind and set lire to the stiiictuic. Befoic the flames could be comjueicd the entue tower wasdestroyed, actually illuminating the death bed ot the Uishop. An Ameiicin paper lepoi Is the death of "the fattest woman in woild,' Kanny Conl'jy, a niemhoi ::ud one of the <peeial cuiiosities ot Nathan i Cleveland (Jneur. She was found dead, hi'ig Oil lici fate, in tlie slcepii'g w.-ugon or the company, and the pi estimation «,h th it, she w.t-, unable to turn in her <>ed v ltJinut a-s, senm c, <iud TO-, .so •nilioeaKd. v lk wi mh-'d W7lb. A i v run. ieai ,n-.tia',.d with in-, son, an ()\ioid iwi'Vi gia>ln if. fe,i a'ling his time in v iitin.; r <n l«),.il ; pe"-. ami cited DoLtoi John on ,i s,m n .; Hint a man who vuole (."..ipt loi 'i.oiiij is a fool. The ton wiote back. "I shall follow Johnson's id.ico, and wnte foi money. Please send me twoutv pounds " Al/i'lioi (.11 the <■]( eti ie bill ib now in vogue m many hot I^. its ire h not yet allowed to di^tuib iiie leiv.iK'iv Ii ibits of the waiteif, it we may I'idge by the following due. tions juried ou" onu of the b'dls in a home of eutci t .inment at a seaside ie>oit— " Push in the nob. If you do not get an ansvvei in fifteen or twenty minutes, push it again."' Tjh: Kentuckian admhation for fine boises is t!ie stioii<,'c^t- feeling in his nature. IT" caiosveiv, little whethei or not the pnblic enteiSuns a lav o,u able opinion of him, but he wants even one to think wllof his ],oi c .Soiiio tiiiie ago the editoi of the !veiMie\\ Stite .Join nal puhl.sJied atXevpoiL !\\ , piiutcd a lolil it "ii cm. .11,), i l.iis' well Know n in Iv <■ m 1m 1 him 1 ' S'mirlv ait"iWdllls ,1 llli.l vili 'K\l ill! O'lH\ WltllilKllL^^'f'. 1 .in "ill a-d, •• .vly .1 >\i<l - Si|Uiie ii.iggl s. and ' am ii')t < ten l" t he.iili'd in in, let nvj tc'l \ou 1 ii'iiUi imd that you have i!iin^ l'iluf'n,, n\ trie eh.ii.ut^i f)f n.> li >i --i .' " 1 do i I k io l v , :«. - plit'd t!n % otiu i - 't!i.t i ad iir thing | dei ojatup t. i ii' < '. >,iiii! ot >oui horvj. I liic-".; ' ii.-ii, , t'd tli t stole the ,'in.iv!, bu' 1 din n,«i ' >\ ,ur,tillll'Z to 111 t!l" 1' ' I Mill' 1)1 , ell MlCl'M ' '* Tint's a 1 ! i i"iit, ('" .i :!doiii ue w ho h,\y 1 "-toil 1 him. hi) hi un d .1 aii', i.n'i •s'mll a\ th 't l'( iii.i mm ' ,JvM"> (ii - "'i nir Ui -'• he I'm t I'lli/ai/t th lck^i.iph (;i the 'ih m t.uit s.iys :—": — " i tie iiite:n ii "l ot the lcn.Miii of Jame-. C'n. v t ( » 'I ]''a'i o,i \.'cd.u ,da\ aft moon, .'t little ,nr(i t c>\ loi !,, in the buiial gsouiid .i f< w imndit d >aids in the 1 1 , ii of t'i 1 \oilln .d Pi mjii. '!!)'* dis ll let e>'V "I (111, i'l. I/I-M.W,'-. lC.lth dl'-tic-ed at the 1-au-id'M of tl'o l'(,d\ I'liii^' connn'tt. d to the LTiound without any tunci.il ier\ \LV, md oi 1 con ,i(iei<it""ii io .solved U> ty < tew wo'ds on the oeia.sion. 'fhe i >i-ilJint nn'qs'-i ate (Alt Jl. II il.v) p'o ( f <l(d io the ir.K-J at t'lice o'llo, 1 to. t!i< 7 ii • jii) (<! *- ■ j ; k intending the aii.uiL, 1 ii.i ill- oi sipulti'ii, and I>i. J ( ]n-c)i .ie (',n|)<iiiit'd I, mil A-i'c notiie of the bun.'l had aoi .'bioad, Ac'y few people had am idi aoi w hat was about to taku pliiu , tjut tiie iavt ot tlncc oi four cabs .standni" at the i'aol door attiacted a liv\ idl <~, "\li ,Jone-, the undei f.d.ei . aim id with tht collin at .'! 4.~>, and his ,issi (ants couv i vc d it to the nioi lv.ii v . Tim J.n th" l»)d\ of tJamci ( ',ii i v the ieituies nppeaud composed in deit'i. The cijisc was plai'dir the toiiin. .md the latter was conv(\v 1 to i v ( '"< \ f'ursid* , tlie di ■.- tance to tne \\,wl liuir; jK.slv half ;„ mile. JS1 1 -> (_'. ii • , and Ik i o'iddien wee in the t>aolu"' oinitei-. and although rlloi 131 3 we.] < in lib' to di^ii.ide Ih>i fiom iollo\\iiii,' i''c iliimms of her deceased hnsliauel, she ie olved cm doing ■o, and ■with her habv ai.d he i 'on ocei.pied the fiistc.ib, Di Knsor idllowin^in the second cab, <"id tiie assistant uiamstiati' in a tluiel eah. The (oitcge then slowly moved oil to t!,e giave, on auiving at AvJnch the bod^ vi as low tv el by the nnekiLikeis men The most perfect silence pi' v.,i!"d. altl'Oii'di a gooel many eoloied peop! ■ and (hdelie-ii, atti I'-ted by tlie pioti "o.i, had .iS'ombled. When che body v "■ low end into the </iavo, Di ICiisor. who ioi sonic time ])iev ion ]y lind laboiue'l i.nd> i sfiniiu emotion, spoke in a deal and ill, tint voice as follows: — • Tiiends, ;i ihe absence of any official niinistii. T think it only light that a iew void, should be .saiel over the grave of lliis poor man. Let us pi.i>.' Kvi-is head nas immediately uncove'ied, and Di Knsor pioceeded thus — ' 0 Thou omnipoteiit, omnn.iesent anel omniscient Ruler of the Univeise, we> lestore, as is he. the niorial lemainsof this out weak and ening biothci to his mother c.uLh. Hi, i.nmoifal pait we aie ceitain is also undci Th\ truidance and eontiol. We bow to the Omnipotent. Yet we would at the smictime lemember that meiey is the 1 attnbute of (!od llimpelf. in meiey, then, look down on thes"— the widow nnd the helpless orphan 6 - — as they stand besiele the open giavj. diant that iime, the con»olei as well as the aveiijrer, may tin ow a thick veil over their past. Giant, Lotd, that in all theii futuie' they may .seek and find Thee to be ;i \ciy pie'ent lulpin time of tiouble mil the comfoiter of the widow and orplnns m their nlilietion. Amen.' Earth was then thrown on to the coilin, and thus terminated the funeial obsequies of James Carey."' Rvts \nd Mick. — If -\ou wksh to de<.tiov iliim Xi t i ji,k k< I of Un l \JI vc.ie \ j'i<'iin Xii I i !< \n i) if ki Is, (kI, Od, anel Is, to be obtained of all <.t<>iekc f ]>i rs or liom 1. J', Him b} enrlo":inK- .vi e\(r.i stamp. Onk Khtilini. — Fiancis .T. Shortts' Popjl.ii Art Union — Ten fir-t-r 1 iss Oil Paintliii," by eilcbiitod artists ,?,'M ticket' at Is 'J he pri'is. art in "inlutnt mtl costl' County snbstiibiis si mil iff st. imps or otherwise will ]i,i\c tickets b\ rttmn jmst Enc loso st mii'c'd oinclojx' fot ii'i)l\ -I'kwi!' J. Shokii, 110, Quren-'trpet, Am kl tnd — [Ai)\ r ] Lifk ix Tin:Ei7sn— Thkx and Now .—. — It is j;i'iH"ull) suppo.oil tl,.it in the bush \vp h ive to put up with nuiti) d" romforts and prnations in the shape eif tooil l''irrneil)" it v.as so, but now, thanks to 'J H Ilrir, who lias himself dwe It in the bu<-h. if food docs con ist ilaelh of tinniMl in' als his Tot on'/ai SAee i' jj^ivos to them a most delectable fl.i\ our, maknif them ns well of tin* plainest food most ci jovable, ami instead as '>ard bi-.< fits and indigestible 1 d.nnnci his Impkovi i) CoroM vi itAkiMt Povvni k makes the \erybest broad, sroni's, cakes, anel pastry far bupenor and tnoie w! olesome than yeast or ]cn en Sold bv ill storekeepers who can obtai" it from nnv merrbant in Aurkland. You will do well to furnish your house from Gailwk md Ci.nnvcll s. 1 hey have now the most romjJete Knrmshinß" AVarchouse in Aurkland furniture to Miit all classes, good strc.-itf, and cheap. They have Tapestry Carpets irom 2s 3d per yard, Brussels from 3s lid per yard. Linoleum from 3s 9d to ss, Oil Cloths from Is fld to 4s 6J ocr jard. good 12 feet wide Oil Clothe at 3s Cd per yard. Immense assortment of Iron Bedsteads from Infants' Cots to 5 feet wide half-tester Bedsteads. Double iron Bedrteads from 255. 480 Uedsteads in .stock to select from. Beddings of all kinds and sizes kept in r jadino&s. Dining 1 , Sitting, Drawing-room Furniture, anel and a large assortment of Manchester pnd. Furnishing Goods, including .i lot of Crf tonnes. Book Catalogues sei.t free io in•tnn#linffi purchasers. Garlirlf , and Cianwellj