CLIPPINGS

Waikato Times, Volume XXI, Issue 1771, 10 November 1883, Page 4

CLIPPINGS

. i Ou'fTltfu.— At a ball ft girl laid to hor partner, '• Yon ld;e waltzing?" •• I adore it." " Then wl y dirt you nova- leain '!" A>' old fellow went to dine nt a chophouse, and after waiting some tew minuses gruffly asked the waiter, '"How "fang will my chop be?" "About five inuiiud, sit'!" was the ie|>ly. NtVKR dispute toi Motoiy, but for truth ; uud yield to tca&ou trom whatever quarter. FnUM'li Umh:k DiKnci'i/ni.s —The following dulinMiu w.is. meihond the other day : —He : " Aiaminta, /' t'ltdox. ' bJ)» : "Shttt it yovuhdf. " A» ill t stool .it ic. papa, on being mjues tcu by a itch and vulgar young iellow \\n permission to many " one of his gnls.' gave this rather ciushing louly, " Certainly, wliiuh one would jou piefor, the j housemaid 01 tlie cook V" A v.firtUKUU discoursing on Ihe subject oi " Health.' imjuiieil, "Wh.it use can a nnn make ot lnsj time while wnit- ' ing for a doetot '{" lkfoie he could begin his answer to his inquiry, someone m the audience cried out. '"He can nuke his X. is alluding to an acquaintance in terms the very levcisc oi complimentary. •'Cuiious to hear you saying that of j him!" remaikcd a fnend ; "I thought you were under obligations to him '!" " Who-T? Oh, not .it all ! You see, he lent me .some money ; hut the next time I wanted to bou ow of him lie lefused, merely because I hadn't leturued the lirst, so that made it e\en." Pkovbrhiaj, Philosophy.-- Hunger is the best sauce ; hence stteet-boys are naturally saucy Many men, many minds ; but one woman frequently has more than all ot them. Th«y who dance leave the host to pay the liddler. What cannot be cured supports the doetois. A fair exchange would nun the stock-miuket. There's many a smoke with no tobacco. HoMh. — A single bitter woid may dis quiet an entiie family lor a whole day. One smly glance easts a doom over the household, w Ink- a -.mile, hk<- a «»le.iin ot sunshine, may li^'lit up the d.)il*cst and weariest hoitis No mattei how humble, the abode, if it be s\\ e» teued w ith kuidnsss and smiles, the he-nt will tuni loimingly towards it f i om all the tumult* of the wot Id, ami home, if it be e\er so homely, will be the tle.uest spot beneath the circuit of the sun. A (!i*.\Ti,i,M \\ was complaining of the weather. 1 1 i& servant, a new ly enlisted rustic from the country, happened to be within heariny. "Please, sn ?"' he said, as lie approached in an apologetic manner, " I'm veiy sorry, but I'm atiaid it is my fault." " What ilo you inran, jou blockhead ?" asked the tntstcr. " Why, sii," replied the man, what a depiecatoiy smile, " I ougiit to have mentioned it Booner. But I'm soiry to say I bioke tlic barometer about a week ago, and the weather has had it ali its own way since then." A CiiH'vco physician mulct took to explain to his little daughtei the dilleience between the two -schools of medicine. Ife icllected foi some time a-> to how hu Bhould cx|>ks> it in the simplest and most intelligible way. finally he uitonncd her that theditlcience eousistid in tills— that '■ hotim.-tijj.itlix ' mi at small qu.i'ititiesand " allopatln ' nu.it lu^o tjti.intltics. Hi, i.i lj-'lit-i, catching the idea, promptly exclaimed, " Tin hi know what. old Mrs. P.uUer mtant when she &ud sister Mai y wr.s out ot piopoi tioii ! She s got a )ium<r )p,ithlc w;>e iwri ;\\]i>p.itbi ieet ! " '1 lih C\LIIOKM\N "Will \l' C'KOl* — Kepoits f i om the \anons distnets in the State of California show that th<; wheat harvest will be the laige-st c\ei known in thclnstoiy ot the Mate. The tiguu's which base been iiuuishcd .ue horn moderate estimates and iron 1 all possible sources, and it is thought that the lesult may piove to bo considerably l.ugcr. Ihe total aciea«e in wheat is 3.0J"2,iJ00, and the yield in centals ',)',), 210,000, oi a total in bushcUof "vWI.OOO. Tin-, may be exceeded by 10 pi i cent, ami isiiote\pccted to be less than 00,000,000 of bushels, oi 3(5,000,000 ot (ciila!--. The fii-t estimate Mould give 8,000,000 centals lor seed, coiisuni])tion, mannlactiuifi, cti., le.ning •J+,7 1(5,(500 centals, oi neail\ a million jind a qu.utei .shoit ton;,: the latlet •JT.riOO.OOO eentaK, oi 1,37.">.000 ton*. Many estimate the eiop .it a million and a halt tons sui plus, but th ly place the coiisum])tion at a lo'\ figme. Oiegon and Wiishiunton tenitoiy will add 7,000,000 centals, oi .TiO.OOO tons to the aliove liguie>, niakin^ the total sui plus ot the coast not le-s than 1, 000,000 tons, with a tail pinbability ot actnallj realising 1,8">0,000 tons in the conveyance of this enormous (|ti.uitify of pioduee the ship and i.nlw.iy companies of thft West will liud employment toi a considerable time to come A-UHtICW I'IUHU'CK \M) ('Vl'l't.!. St\Tivncs. —lt is .stated that the lion and steel niakeib of the United States piodiice iinually 001.ti10.100 dols of manufaetiued product 5 ?, and use 31 !),."i!)4, 000 dols of raw material, while the mist mills pioduev 000, 18."),000 dols, and W 4 H,."i41,()00 dols of raw matei lal— that is, gram. But there is a gieat dilloienee in the uumbei oi hands employed -md the amount of wages paid. Fur example, the iion and steel men employ 3()G,.">!I 1 S haiuU, ami pay l'_ ; S,7-57,000 doN a y.u in w a <„'<'<., while thf nnllcis employ only oS, 100 hands, and pay but 17,1-2,000 dols m wa»es The capital invclerl in the <_'ii-4 null-, is 178,000,00 <\oU : but that in the iion and steel woiks is no less thiin {().">. Ct'M'i, ooo dols, Snbtiaitinj; the \.dne of the milling law inateiial tiom the \alue of tlic manufaetiued pioduets, it leaves (51,000.000 dols: diducting fiom this the 17,422,000 dols paid tor wau'es, there is left a sum of 4(5 .77^.00 dols. which leprccnts the ye.uly pioiits on 378,000,000 dol^ capital invested, less intetest, insuiaiice, weai and teat. This is more than 26 per cent, while the profits of iron anil steel manufactuieis, ■who^e working expen-e-3 aie much gt eater in pioportion. and who aie in addition libeially piotected, are less than 25 pei cent, inteiest, insuiancc. &c , being deducted fiom this. Soaicely any manufactures pay so well as those of the milleis. With lepatd to cattle, they have increased .so lapidly in the South that >outh Antetiea has now come to be legaided as the land of eh'np beef. The Aigentine Confedciation, with a population of only 1«o to the sipnie mile ns> against 200 in Belgium, is enormously wealthy in cattle But the United States also possesses 3(5.000,000 c vttle, 4 1,000,000 ho«s, and 42 000 000 sheep— in sill, in round minibeis, 121.000,000 lio.idofli\e stock. Rvis axd Mkjb --If you wi--h to destrny thorn vn t .i p.w I,< t "t Hit i s"\l\(,k Vi-iJMin Xii 1 1 k in p " kit"., (xl, ')(!, antl X, to ho obtained of all st(irck(>(>])i is, oi tiom 1. I',. Hin by cnrlo'sinK an o\trn stamp Onk Sun.LTxc— Fiancis .1. Shoitts' Populai Ait I'miom — leu fir-t-di^s Oil I'.tmU\\\V.s bv colchi I'cd nitists ,'iOOn tul-cts .it Is 'llio pri/cs nn- m itrnilm nt and rostK Cnunti^ suhsiriticrs '-rndinfi stamps or ntheiuisr will lij\c tickets b\ i <tm ii post. Km lose st uniii'fl envelope for npl\— lk\\(is J Snoui i, 140, Qnpcn-stiert. Am kl.mil — [ \i>% i ] Lifk i\ Tin: Brsu— Tin x- a\i> Now. — It U (jencr.illv supposcil that in the bush we lia\p to put up with m im disc onilorts and pnxations in the shape ot food Forineil) it was sn, buf how. thanl-s lo J 1' JJin, who lias hmisolt dwelt in the busli, if lood docs con Ist chicflv of tinned nic ats his i^iii om\i ."-niii /im-s to (him aniost ilclci t ibU" il.noni, miking tin .11 .1- well of till' pi lini'st food most i-rj«i\al)li , anil mstc nd .is hard bisi nits and indigestible daniju'r his 1mI'KOVi'ii COIOXI \i l'»\M,sc. l'nw 111 v makes the very host hie id, siom-s, 1 ikes ■"id pi>ti\- far superior and moie wholesome th.m or lo.ucn. .Sold bj all stoickeepcis who ran obtain irfrom any merch.mt in Auckland You will do well to furnish your house from Garlick and Cramvell's 'llvy have now the most complete Finnish me Warehouse in Auckland, furnituio to -;uit all classes, good Btrc.iff, and cheap. They have Tapestry Carpets :rom 2s 3d per yard, Brussels from :?s n<] pel yard. Linoleum from 3s Od to r>s, Oil Cloths fiom I«odto4s(id per yard, good 32 feet wide Oil Cloths at :{^ fid per -\ard. fmmonso assortnipnt of Iron Hcdsteads from Infants' Ojt^ to 5 (opt wide half-tester Bedsteads. Double iron Itedf lead* from 2, r is. 480 Bedstead", in stork to select 1 from. Bcddinjjs of .ill kinds and si/ps kept in readiness. Dinintr, Sitting, Drawing-room Furniture, ant} jind alarge assortment of .Manrhester "and Furnishinjr Goods, including- a lot of Cretonnes^ Book Qatnlngne* •tent free to int«ndi«tr' *purehAspr* Garlirk and Cranwell,