THE BIRTH OF ST. PATRICK.

Waikato Times, Volume XXI, Issue 1760, 16 October 1883, Page 3

THE BIRTH OF ST. PATRICK.

On the eighth day of March it was, some people say, That St. Patrick, at midnight, ho first saw tho day ; While others declare 'twas the ninth he was born, And 'twas all a mistake between midnight and morn, For mistakes will occur in the hurry and shock, And some blame the baby, and come blame the clock, Till with all their cot-s questions &ure no one could know, If tho child was too fast, or the clock was too slow. Now, tho first faction fight in old li eland they .say, Was .ill on account of St. Patrick's birthday :—: — Some fought for the eighth, for the ninth some would die, And who wouldn't see right, faith they blackened ins eye. At last both the factions so positive grew, That each kept a bnthcUy— .so Patrick had two — ■ Till Father Mulcahy, who told them their hins, Said no man could have two, unle.ss he was twins ! " Boys !" says he, "don't be fightm' for eight or for nine, .Don't be always dividin', but sometimes combine ; Combine eight with nine, and .sc\ entccn is the maik, And let th.it be his bnthday."— " Amen," said the clerk. And if he wasn't twins, sure his history "X ill .show He w.is -\\mth at least any two saints that wo know ! Then the} all got blind chunk, which completed their bliss, And they've kept up the practice from that day till this !

Tiik following is said to be a biilliant example of Gcnnaii wit : — Child : ' Hun 4 Pastor, my mother sends me to s.xy that my father died last night.' Pastor : Did yon call a doctor?' Cliild: 'No, Heir Pastor, he died oi himselt.' An Arkansas paper tells of a Sfc Louis man who •.i' feet vue bo l.uge that when lie undeitook to use the loiKs of a country load foi a bootjack he .split the load wide open and spoded the geopiaphy of the neighbourhood. It i-Tit'liited that a Texas pastor declined an ineic.isc- ot one hundiul dollais a yoai upon his salary on the ground that the li.ii dust part ot his labors, horctoioie had been to collect hit. pay, and it would kill him to collect one bundled dollais more. A Scottish laird biirpiiscd his fiiends at dinnci by aih'iming that the finest giapes he had ever eaten were grown in the open an in Fifcslnie. Their suipri&p was modeiatod, how evci, when he returned to the subject and added — ' Hut I inarm preini.se that I piefer them .-soot I .' I\ Tuikiah Kmdist.in an infant has been bom with a beard and moustache, .ipcilcct set ot 32 teeth, and no fewer than 40 distinctly formed fingeis. Its behauour fioni the moment of its birth has, been far from &atisfactoiy. It is c\oessucly noisy and violent, and, owing to thoctuel bites it indicts on all who come within leach of its mouth, it has been found necessary to e\tiact all its ft out teeth. Notwithstanding this disfigmement, the child's appeal ance is, if not picpos.sc.ssmg, at least imposing. No one who has seen it as it lies in its ciadle, stioking its beaid and pulling its moustache with its 40 fingers, is ever likely to foiget it. Tin hi. seems to be a kind of craze for inciino sheep in Australia just now. We hear of the purchase of a ram in Melbourne for over 3000 guineas. The following paiagiapli about high-priced .sheep is iioiu the .South Austialian corlespoudout of the Argus:— "The disposal of Mr X W.Pitts' stud Hock was one of the most wondeiful .sales e\er held in the Colony. It is «i national calamity that Mr Pitts, tlnough dl-hualth, is obliged to leliiKiuish the piusuit whicli has made his name famous throughout Austialasia, but having beaten the woild it can be undei ■stood tlwit his ambition, to say nothing of the (juestion of health, iiad icceiveil its utmost satisfaction. It is stated that when Mr Pitts determined to sell his sheep heotleied the lot for €10,000 to two diflerent individuals, but they would not buy. It is just as well that they did not, for the sale lealised the* unexpectedly large sum of C41,.")00. This was undoubtedly due to the high reputation which Mr Pitts had won as a bieedei of stud sheep, and to the tact thac buyeis fioni all the Colonies weie represented at the sale. Mr C. B. L'iaher bought about €20,000 worth, and Mr O'iSlianassy was also a liberal buyer. As lllnstiativc of the extreme pi ices realised, it may be mentioned that four pens of ewes, containing 64(i, brought C l !),."> 33— a tesult, it is allirmed, that has never befoic been attained in any country from a single sale eonfyned to one stud flock." Ax article bv Mr R. A. Procter on " Lectures and the London Papeis" in that gentleman's journal, Knowledge, shows that, in Mr Pioctor's opinion, ho was much better tieatcd in America and An -<t> .ilia by the papeis than he is in London And it isnatiualth.ithe&honid, in eonseijiienee, foun a higher opinion of the wuidoin biought to bear on the papers of these moie enlightened paitsof the world than of that shown, or not shown, by the London Pi ess. The complaint is that wheieas in Atuciiciiniid Austuili.ia course of lectures on scientific, attistic. orliteraty subjects lcceives attention fiom the pnpcis, is noticed in advai cc, and is fully, or at any late well, lepoited. In London such lectures arc scarcely noticed at all by thenew >papcis. As Mr Proctorputsit " In London the Press gives practically no supi ort at all to lectures on science, att, or literatuie. iSueh lectures are so seldom given that one would suppose they would ha\e a ceitain claim from their novelty to notice from the leading papers. But they nsver are noticed, and, as a consequence, they \eiy seldom are successful. I was assured, when I mentioned my purpose in refeience to the seiies now diawmg to a close, that such lectures never could succeed in London, for the Press wouid never notice them. One-half of the prophecy has certainly failed, but the other has been made good, as I knew it would be, having seen how all who having made a similar experi- ! ment have been 'welcomed' in the metropolis of the world." He says that his success with his series of lectures has been generally regarded as marvellous. In London it may be so, though in every great city in America or Australia where he has lectured "a greater success has been much moie easily, and much more safely, achievpd." Rats and Mick.— lf you wish to destroy thorn get a packet of Hii i.'sM \gic Vi'rmi n Km I'R in packets, Cd, 9d, and ls>, to be obt.iincd of .all storekeepeis, or fiom T. B. Hill by enclosing an extra stamp. One Shilling. — Francis J. Shortts' Popular Art Union.— 'l en firht-class Oil Paintings by celebrated artist-*. 5000 tickets at Is. '1 he prizes are magnificent and costly. Country subscribers sending' stamps or otherwise will have tickets by return post. Enclose stamped envelope for reply.— Fkaxcis J. Shokii, 140, Queen-street, Auckland.— [Auvi.] Lifk in tiik Bubir— Then and Now.— It is gencrajly supposed that in the bush we have to put up with many discomforts and privations in the shape of food Formerly it was so, but now, thanks to T. B. Hii.t., who has himself dwelt in the bush, if food does consist chiefly of tinned moats his Cor oniAL Sauce gives to them a most delectable flavour, making- them as well of the plainest food most enjoyable, and instead i as hard biscuits and indigestible damper his Impkovld Colonial Baking Powder makes the very best bread, scones, cakes, and pastry far superior and more wholesome than yeast or leaven. Sold by all storekeepers who can obtain it from any merchant in Auckland. You will do well to furnish your house from Garlick and Cranwell's. They have now the most complete Furnishing Warehouse in Auckland, furniture to suit all classes, good strc.ig, <md cheap. They have Tapestry Carpets .rom "is 3d per yard, Brussels from 3s lid per yard, Linoleum from 8s Od to 6s, Oil Cloths from Is 6d to 4s Od per yard, good 12 feet wide Oil Cloths at 3s 6a per yard. Immense assortment of Iron Bedsteads from Infants' Cots to 5 ieet wide half-tester Bedsteads. Double iron Bedsteads from 265. 480 Bedsteads in stock to select from. Beddings of all kinds and sizes kept, in readiness. Dining, Sitting-, Drawing-room Furniture, and and a large assortment of Manchester are Furnishing Goods, including a lot of Cndtonnes. Hook Catalogues sent free to intending purchasers, Garlirk and Cranwell, City £ajl Arc^ O.u.een^s.tire.et, Aup kfand.) ,