GLEANINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXI, Issue 1732, 11 August 1883, Page 4

GLEANINGS.

Little Alice was crying bitterly, and on being questioned, confessed to having received ti slap fioin one of her play fellows. "You hhou'd have returner it," unwisely said the questioner. "Oh I returned it before !" answered the littl* girl. A m\k lately made an application foi insurance on a building situated in s village where there was no fire-engine, Bo was asked, " What are the facilities in your village for extinguishing a fire?' "Well, it i tuns, sometines." he leplied with groat simplicity. A MTL'Li: girl sat gazing fhedly at the new bonnet ol one ot her mother* \isitors, until the caller smilingly asked, "Do you like it, my dear?" The innocent child n-plicd, " Yes 1 do. Mamnii and Aunt Milly said it was a perfect fright, but it doscii't f lighten me n bit. A \hc.no .about dying was told by hi* ininisUu that lie miihl loryive a ceitain darkey, against whom ho seemed to enteitain \eiy bitter feelings. " Yes, salt,"' he replied, " if 1 dies I foi give dat nigga ; but if I gets well, dat ingga must take caie!" Ci.ouci: CoM'.man tho younger having piessed a young gentleman at a party to .sing them a song, even after he assured them solemnly that he could not sing, and obsetved testily that they Mere wanting to make a butt of him, •' No, my good sir," said Coleman, "we only want to get a stave out of you." Cornelius O'Dowd says that when a friend of hia once met Sydney Smith at Brighton, where he had gone to reduce himself, by the use of certain baths in in vogue in those days, ho was struck by tho decrease of Sydney's size, and said, '" You aie certainly thinner than when I saw you last." " Yes," said lie, " I have only been ten days hero, but they have scraped enough oIF me ahcady to make a cui.ite."' At a school-examination a clergyman ■was descanting on the necessity of the pupils giowmg vi) loyal and useful citizens. In older to give emphasis to the lo'iiai ks, he. pointid'to a huge Hag, a Union .lack, Ii. inking on one side of the bchoolioom, and haid, "Hoys, w hat is that flag foi ? AuiiKlun, who understood the condition of the loom better than the speakci s lhctoiic exclaimed, "To hide llio diit, sn '" A cv, Hsit \ 1 1. ii comedian once ai tanged ■hith his gi cen-gi octi , one Hoi i y, to pay liini quaituly, but the gieen-giocei sent in Ins account lony betorc the quarter awls due. The comedian, in great warmth, called upon the gicengiocer, and, labouring under the nnpic-sion that his ciedit was doubted, .said, " I say, here's a pietty urn l , Ueiiy; you have sent in youi bill, Ijuny, bofoiu it \$ d*a , Hurry. \otit f.ithei, the </>tn Bctiy, Mould not have been such a ywsi , Beny ; but you need not look him/,, lien y, for I don't cue a, if in " , Bevy, and 1 blian"t pay you till O/n in/w/s, Beny. A FhiACH i.w>\, onhei anival in this country, was enreinl to cut only Mich dishes as she was acquainted with, and being on one occasion pressed to paifcake of a dish new to hci, she. politely xjplied, thinking she was expressing Imm self in ndmitahlu Knglish, " No, 1 thank you ;I eat only my acquaintances. ' Whi.n Handel once undeitook, in a crowded chinch, to play the dismissal on a \eiy line oigan the w, the whole congiegation became fco entianccd with delight that not an individual could stir tili thu usual oi iMinst tame impatiently foi waul and took his seat, saying in a tone ot acknowledged .supeiiotity — " You cannot dismiss a (ongicgitiou. Sue how 1 can dismiss them.*' Tin. 77th KeL'inient was patented many ycaiia<so by Colonel W.u mitigton, Butisli Consul at Tnpoli, Mith ,i fine young (istiich. This lem.'iikable biid walked .it the head of t lit* regiment in a liio'-t oiduly maimei, and Kept pcifect time with the music of the band while maichiug ; and should the band I>e playing in the sqiiaiesoi the loudens ho would •walk lound thu musicians, keeping all tlie little boy-. ,iw.i\. Kut.is it is well known that these aminalsaie c\tcssi\oly ■\ oi acinus, lie was obliged to be mti/vled, a* he took a tancy not only to listen attentively to the music itself, but to eat the miisiL books w htnc\ vi he could g<-t at them. Lii j'i,i I'niNb A i.oi r \ \'i k\ Bic BUII'I.I,. — 'I'll! 1 X( \\ Oik - IWooklj 11 Biidyo was pio|out<d jcai^ago. It is tl do the pii'|ert dllleied somewhat m detail iiom the iiia^nifiicnt woik which is at oi te the wondci.ind tlic piulc of oui people today, but it is uphill} tine that the bridge of to day has cost a tulle .' nioic than the estunatul expense of tho scheme long ago, whidi was modestly placed at about (300,(K)0dols. The following notice on the subject is taken fiom the Lowell J/rmo//, Nov. 14, IS'2\), and is lcpiodticed volt tun ct literatim : " A project has been set on foot in New York to unite that city with Long Island, by tno erection of a bridge across the J'kst llivcr to Biooklyn," The moat notable accident which marked the progress of the work was that on June 19, 1878, when one of the gieat atnuuls of the cable broke loo=c from the New York anehoiagc, can} ing with it the huge iion "Hlioc' 1 to which it was fastened, n.s a thild'« ball Ujuiked back to the hand by its imlia rubber siting. It Mas noonday and the .sticcts wen; ciowdod, •wheil there Was ,i tlnilhlolous twang and bu//, and dashing the men upon th nndioiage fai down into thostioct, th hinging stct 1 spiang.it one bound to th touti, and d.iihing the shoo behind it, lan down the mciwaid face of the gicat pile, a cascade ol lieiy sp:ukt> at the sumiiiit, and in the w .no beneath a lapul of lagmc; foam. While tho budge was building people sueniod to be cia/y to piostiatc tlitni'-i hes on the top ot the toweis. One man staited on the journey, got out a lew bundled feet, and, calmly lying down, declined to budge an inch in either diuction. Moital tcnoi had .sei/iid his soul, and lid clung like grim death to the wooden slits. AVoikmen weie compelled to go out and get him. Anothci ambitious gentlemen fell down in an epileptic (it half May between the anehoiagc and tow ci, and his legs and aims (low widely about as lie lay on the nanow pith — about thiec feet in •width, and sympathetic uiidci takcis who had fehops in the ucinity gathcicd in the expectation of doing all the justice po&sible to a body that -was about to fall 140 ft. Again the budge woiknion intervened, and the fiotlnng unfortunate wns taken to the giouud. R vis wdMki. — Jf you wish to de■stnij tlitiii X' 1•» P " I^ 1 1 "f II" ' >s^' \<»n "* I kmin Jvii 1 1 kin pa' kits, (mI, 'id, and Js, to be obtained ol all slnickupiis, oi liom i. J! Hill b) en-clo-.ui,,' .in i Ui I st nil)) Tin. I'Mii'i i.s s^mkm.— (licat lcducti<i;i ill s i uin^ in k limes I'ih ex, earn ijje paid •\Mlli .ill extras Homo .Shuttle, IJ l"ix, Wirtlmm, L! , \\ Inu , J,o UN , Sint'ir, 1 5 3s; Jmixllm .uid KocsiiKin, J I UN — with oner, l.'i ; Knitting yi iLhinc, 1 7 : Howe I J ; Stand ird, jot ex, ke , Killing M.idiinex — D S. Chambers, Queen and l'"o:t Stuetx, Aurkland. No canv.isxi rx. C.ibh or deferred. .Repairs to .ill machines. Liikjn TiirErsir— Tjiia \m> Now. — It is gener.ills suppoxi-d that in the buxli wch.ave to put np with many dix( omtorts and pmations in the xhape ot fond l'ormrrlj 1 it n.is xo, but now, thank 5 to 1 15. II 111 1 I , who Ikix himself dwelt in the bii^li, ii food does conxist chiefly of tinned mr-atx lux I.oi osr \i S\i(i kucx to them «i most deleclalile II noiir, m.ikinjr tin in <is well of the plainest food nioxt ci io\,ible, and instead as haul bi^cnitx .iiki liitlti^t xiiblo damper his Iml'ltovi i) Cojom \t JJ\mn(. Powdik makes the very bext bie id, si one, ( akts, and p.ixtiy far superior and moie wholesome: than yeast or Je.ivi n. Sold bj all xtorckcepeis who can obtain it from .my mcrch mt in Auckland You will do to fuini&h your hoiue from Gulick md Crniiwcll's '1 he) hn\c nnw the most i o'iij letc I'iirnixhinn W.irihousp m An, kl.ni'l Uirnituie to suit all classes, good strc ,(,', .md rhe ip. 'Ihpvh.i\o I'apcstn Carpets ;.-om 2x k\ Vo'V 0 ' y ""d, Jir'isxcls fiom 3s lid pei yard, Linoleum liom :3s ( )d to .'is, Oil Cloths from Is Gd to 4s Ud per v.ml. Rood 12 feet wide Oil Cloths at .is (Id per \«ird. limn< n'-o assortment of Iron Jicdstc.uls from Infmls' Cots to f) feet wide h.ilf-te .tor J'.ed-ti.id'. Double lion Bedsteads (rom 2.0-.. 'ISO I'.cdsteads in stock to select from Jscddinßsot.il! kinds and sizes kept in readiness. i)iuinpr, -Sittinf,', Drawing-room Furnituie, .md and al njje TSaortment of Manchester and Furnishing Gnods, including a lot of Cretonnes. J^ook Catalogues sent free (o intending; purchasers. Garli< k and Cranwell, City Hall Aicode, Queen- ftrccti A«cJ>landj