SWINDLING A SETTLER.

Waikato Times, Volume XXI, Issue 1729, 4 August 1883, Page 6

SWINDLING A SETTLER.

About the Ist of October a pioneer in one of the northern counties of Wisconsin was seated on a a log in front of his cabin, waiting for his every-other-day shake of the ague to come along, when a covered wagon drove up. It contained a man and his wife, and afew articles of furniture, and they were looking for a piece of land on which to squat. It was nip and tuck which was the meanestlooking man. Both were ragged, down in the mouth, and had chills and fever as regularly as sunrise, and neither one had made a cent in the last ten years. It was also » pretty even thing between the women. One was cross-eyed, and the other had a brokeni nose. One was almost toothless and theother had a stiff knee. One chewed slip-pery-elm and took snuff, and the other smoked plug tobacco in a clay pipe. " Stranger," remarked the settler, after the four had looked each other over; " I haven't any fodder lor yer hosses, nothing to get up & dinner with, and we gib our drinking water from a creek half a mile away. Yer a meanlooking family, and I'd advise ye to drive on." " Stranger," echoed the other, " I wouldn't have stopped nohow but to offer ye a trade. My old woman don't like the woods and don't' want to go further. How'll ye trade? " The settler got up and walked around the wagon and whistled " Old Dan Tucker" twice, over, and then replied : " I reckon its about an even thing." '" Yes, party even. What do you say old> woman ? " " Wall, I can't be much wuss off," she replied as she jumped down. The settler's wife was not over seven mini--utes packing up, and as the wagon moved off she called back : " Good-bye, old man ! Beckon we do'nt owe each other nothing." In less than a fortnight the settler appeared at the county seat to consult a lawyer* and great was his indignation as he explained : "In less'n a week after that 'ere wagon druv off that 'ere woman went stone blind and likewise developed consumption, and yesterday morning she suddenly drapped off her cheer and died without a kick." "She did?" * " And I've to bury her and break ap and lose my squat. Now, then, what I want is to* j know if there is any law in this State which * allows a stranger to tote a dying female around the kentry and trade her even up ion an old woman who could chop a cord and a half of wood per day, and sot up all night to keep tne bars from hpldin' a convention an the, shanty?"

A leading municipal official in Dublin is a very fidgety little person, enormously impressed with the dignity of his office. The other day his carriage was stopped by an ancient hack, which turned round under the very shadow of the Mansion House, and! checked the official's horses in their fiery career. An altercation ensued between cabby and the official, and upon the stern edict; being shrieked out : " Take his number ! "" cabby had the appalling audacity to retort* "Ah, g'wan out o' that, ye ould twelve monttfs aristocrat."

Somebody .was telling Jekyll that a brewer ' had been drownedin his own vat. "Ah," was. ' Jekyll's remark; "floating,on his own watery bier." " ) • 323. "