GLEANINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XX, Issue 1709, 19 June 1883, Page 4

GLEANINGS.

" Colon kl," said, a man who wanted ro make out a cfenealogical tree — " Colonel, how can I Income thoroughly acquainted with my family history ?" *' ."Simply by running for office, "answered the Colonel. Schoolgirl : " You say the youth you dote on is almost sixteen years old and yon want to give him a Christinas present which will please him more that all the rest he can possible receive from others. Very well, give, him a shaving case." A , lady stood patiently before the receiving-teller's window in a bank the other day, but no one took any notice of her till she attracted the attention of the money-taker by tapping with her parasol on the glass. '• Why dou't you pay attention to me ?" she asked, petulantly. " I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't pay nothing here ; n«xt window, please," was the polite response. "He is a man who has made his mark," exclaimed an enthusiastic admirer of John Bright, "Made his mark aye cc," said Widow Tomkins ; " well, there ain't much in that ; my poor husband did the same, but there, dear soul, he wernt satisfied, he always said he wished he had learned to write." Two rival belles at an evening party were seated in the conservatory with their respective cavaliers enjoying their supper. The gas was turned down somewhat as it should bain a conservatory at an evening party. "My dear Julia, "said one of the fascinating creatures, "how beautiful your complexion is — in this dim light !" " Oh, thank you !" respon« ded her rivnl. "And how lovely you look in the dark 1" Richard A . Proctor once tried the experiment of wearing a corset, and thus describes the result : — "When the subject of corset wearing was under discussion in the pages of the English Mechanic, I was struck," he says, " with the apparent weight of evidence in favour of tight lacing. I was in particular struck by the c\ idence of some as to its use in reducing corpulence. I was corpulent. I also was disposed, as I am still, to take an interest in scientific experiment. I thought I would give tins matter a fair trial. I read all the instructions, carefully followed them, and varied the time of applying pressure with that 'peifectly stiff busk ' about which correspondents were soenthusiastic. I was foolish enough to try the tit gfora matter of four weeks. Then I laughed at myself as a hopeless idiot, and determined to give up the attempt to redvee by artih'cal means that superabundance ot fat on which only starvation and much exerciso, or the air of America, has ever had any real reducing influence. But I was reckoning without my host. As the Chinese lady suffers, I am told, when her feet bindings are taken off, and as the flat-head baby howls when his head boards are removed, so for a while was it with me. I found myself manifestly better in stays. I laughed at myself no longer. I was too angry with myself to laugh. I would as soon have condemned myself to usiny crutches all the time as to wearing always a busk. But for my one month of folly I had to endure tlnoe months of discomfort. At the end of about that time I was my own man again."