OLIPPINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XX, Issue 1708, 16 June 1883, Page 4

OLIPPINGS.

Recently an nmuteur dramatist sent a very bad, comedy to tho lessee of a wellknown'ffl&utv^&'ring him tho play f«r nothing?.' The Icsee obHorved that the author evidently knew theexaotvalueof it. An interesting experiment was not long since made, in Berlin, upon the possibility of ' treating oases of nearsightedness in horses. It appears that a fine horse had become intractable in consequence of defective eyesight. The animal wa3 so valuable that its owner determined to have a pair of spectacles made for it. This was done with the most satisfactory result, the hoise becoming as docile as ever. A celebrated writer in advising respecting the choice of a wife, expresses himself, thus : " This bear always in mind, that, if she is not frugal, if she is not what is called a good manager, if she does not prize herself on her knowledge of family affairs and laying oat her money to the best advantage, let her be ever so sweetly tompered, gracefully made, or elegantly accomplished, she is no wife for a man in trade." The following are the words in which Edward the Confessor installed Lcafriuus in the See of Exeter. " I kyngc Edward, takynge Leofrike by the ryghto haunde, and Rdyth, my queene, by the lefe ; doe installe hym the fyrste and moste famous byshoppe of Exou, wyth a greate desyrc of aboundauce of blessynge to all such as shall furder and increase the same ; but wytho a fearful and execrable curse on all such as shall diminishe, or take any thy nve from it." It was the Lemon.— A man recently fell down on Warren -street. He was a large individual, and took up lots of the aide walk, and a bystander thought it the proper tiire to be funny. " How did you come to fall :" he inquired. "On a bit of lemon — " "Yes sir: on a bit of lemon," replied the corpulent one. " But I seen no lemon," replied the funny man. " Well who said you could ?" savagely roared the Large individual, as he got up and dusted himself off with his handcrchief : "Can anyone Bco tho lemon in half-a-dozen cocktails, Bay ?" They had only been married a short time. The other day she slung her arm around him and waibled in a low, tromulous voice: "Do you re.ilias, Adolphus, that, now we are mariicd, wo are only one ?" " No," roplio l the brute. " I can't realise it. I havu just paid a7o dollar millinery bill and a lot more of your bills, with several outside precincts to hear from ; &o I am beginning to realise that, as far as expense goes, instead of being one we are about half a-doz-n." The marriage of Dr Bridge, oigmist of Westminister Abbey, reminds a contemporary of a pleas mt sto«y in which he Wfl3 an actor. He was dining with the city company which calls itself after the musicians, and wondering at the extremely unliterary and unmusicil character of its prime waulen. How could such a man become head of a society of musicians ? After dinner, lie t rioil to solve the question by putting it point-blank to his host. " How aie you chief of the musicians ?" he asked. " Why shouldn't hi be ?" retoi ted the jovial old gentleman. " Hive been eight \ear on the court." To which replied the organist, 11 But you know nothing about music." 11 How do you know ?'' " Coino now," " what are the four resolutions of the dominant seventh ?" cried the master of the company." Why, do you think that I'm going to leveal the secrets of our t'raft, " Fou Fence Posts.— A writer in a contemporary says: — "I discoveicd many years ago tli it wood could be made to last longer than iron in the ground, but thought the pioccss &o simple that it was not well to make a stirabout it. I would as soon have poplar, ba«s\vood, or ash as any other kind of timber for fence posts. I have taken out hasswood posts, after having been set seven yais, that weie as sound when taken out as when first put in tho ground. Time and weather seemed to have li.'id no effect on them. Tne post* can bopicpued foi lebs than two cents apiece. Thi* is the lecipc : Take boiled linseed oil and stir in pulverised coal to thu consistency of paint. Put a coat of this o\er the timber, and thcic is not a man that will live to ».•? it lot." Inteu OctA\ Livk Stock Trade.— According to the Si/di'Cf/ Mail, there is a possibility of an attempt being made to establish a live stock twi<lo with Fngland and India. MrD. F. M.ickay, of Singleton, has long entertained the idea that a lire stock trade between Australia and England can bo j rolitably conducted. He was in Sydney last week with the object of chartei ing the steamship Austral for tho pmposo of making a tiial shipment, but, thiough bonie leason of which we arc not awaie, was unable to do so. He is, howe\ er, determined to engage the first suitab'e steamer available. It is his intention to ship store cattle. He has of Mice several hundred head ready. The si i unont will, if possible, be made from Newcastle. The Hunter farms will supply the necessary fodder. Maize, chaff, bran and pumpkins are on the bill of fare as at present prepared. Tho animals are to be fed libei ally ; but if the voyage is quickly made Mr Mackay thinks £3 15s per head \\ ill cover the cost of food. Ills experience leads him to infer that stock, if properly tioited, will improve in condition dining the voyage. His plans aie almost complete, lie will not attempt a shipment in any other than some speedy steamship, the holds of which are well ventilated, 'lhe ai'iival of Australian Btock is by soms far seeing indnidnals even now anticipated in Lnjland. We find in Landau,/ Ilalu of a recent date the following comment: — "The Gieat Eastern has been idle for many years, but a report is current that she is getting ready for work again. The wonder to many people is that she does not make a trial trip from the Colonies with a cargo of live sheep to England. If the voyage were possible, she could stow away Borne 10,000 head on boaid, which, at a primo cost of 10s per head, should leave a considerable mat gin of piofit when landed here. If they could be brought to our shores in tolerable condition, they •would be worth 60s per head for killing, nnd if the sheep were owes they would Taring a still higher, thus showing, say 40s per head profit, for £20,000 on this one cargo alone." Mr Mackay thinks cattle will leave a better margin of profit than Bhecp, and, as explained above, intends practically to test his opinion. Rvts and Mick —If you wish to destroy them (jet a packet of Hit i 's Maoic Vi'kmin Xii 1 1 rin parkc ts, Oil, !)d, and Is, to br obtained of all storekeepers, or from i. U, Hill by enclosing an extra stamp. Like in the Basil— Titex axp Now, — It is generally support il tb.it in the bush we ha\e to put up with many disromtoits and privations in the shape of food Formerly it was so, but now, thanks to '1 H. Hill, who has himself dwelt in the bush, if food dors consist chiefly of tinned meats his (Joioniai, Sauci' gives to them a most delectable flavour, making them as well as the plainest food most etjoyablc, and instead of hard biscuits ,md indigestible damper Ins Impkovkd Coioviai. Hamnt. Powni'R mikes the very best bread, scones, r.ikes, and pastry far superior and more wholesome than yeast or lc.u en. Sold by all storekeepers who can obtain it from any merchant in Auckland. Yon will do well to furnish your houpe from Garhck and Cranwcll's 'I he) have now the most complete Furnish iner Warehouse in Auckland, fmnituic tn suit all classts, good strcntr, and che ip lliev have 'l.ipestry Carpets irom '2s 3d per \ard, Brussels fiom 3s lid per yatrl. Linoleum from 3b i)d to ss, Oil Cloths from Isodto4sod per yard, good 12 feet wide Oil Cloths at 3s (id per yard Immense assortment of Iron Bedsteads from Infants' Cots to 5 feet | wide half-tester Bedsteads. Double iron Kcdfteads fiom 25>. 480 Bedsteads in stock to select from. Beddings ot all kinds and si?es kept in readiness. Dining-, Sitting, Drawing-room Furniture, and_ and a large assortment of Manchester and [Furnishing Goods, including a lot of Cretonnes. Hook Catalogues sent free to intending purchasers. Garlick and Cranwell, City Hall Arcade. Queen-street, Auckland. Buy the best sewing machines, packed in boxes, carnage paid. Home Shuttle, £$', "While, £3 10s: Wcrthcjm. £4 10s; Fnstcr and Rossman's., £i 10s :in walnut oner, £6. Knit-ning-marhincs, £1; Singer's Howes, Davis, Tones', Standard, and all the belter classes of , machines in stork. Cash, or deferred. D. !3. ' Chambers' Wholesale and , Retail Machine Depot, 70, Queen-street opposite tho Bank of J, T ew Zcpland, |