THE OBEDIENT HUSBANDS.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1631, 16 December 1882, Page 4

THE OBEDIENT HUSBANDS.

TJT6Afe&''W6re five of them, together, and it was late. They had all been, as it ■was, supposed,, enjoying themselves. ]?iually one of them looked at the clock, and said "What will our wives say When we eet home?'' "'Let them say what they want to. Mine will tell me to go to the mischief," responded No 2. "I tell (•you what we will do. Let us meet here . again iv the morning and tell ,our cxi periences. Let the one who has refused to do what his wife told him to when he got home pay for this evening's entertainment." "That's a good idea. We agree to that." So the party broke up and went to their respective homes. The next morning they mcc at the appointed place and began to tell their experiences. Said No. 1— "When I opened the door my wife was awake. She said, 'A pretty time of night for yo\i to be coming home. You better go out and sleep in the pig-peii, for that's what you will come to sooner or later, anyhow. ' Rather than pay for what we drank last night, I did what she told me. That lets me out. " Next ! No. 2 cleared his throat and said— "When I got home I stumbled on a chair. Then my wife called. 'There you are again, you old drunken brute ! You had better wake up the children and stagger about the room for a while, so they can see what a drunken brute of a father they are afflicted with.' I thought the best thing I could do under the circumstances was to obey ; so I woke up thecluldvQnaudstaggcretfatwntfKflitf/m.r wife hinted to me to stop. She used a chair in conveying the hint. That let's me out." Next ? No 3 spoke up, and said : "1 happened to stumble over a pan of dough, and my wife said, 'Drunk again ! Hadn't you better sit down in that dough V So I sat down in it ; and that lets me out." Next No. 4 said :"I was humming a time, and my wife called out, 'There you are again ! Hadn't you better give us a concert ?' I said 'Certainly,' and began to sing as loud as I could ; but she told me to stop, or she would throw something at me ; s>o I stopped. That lets me out." Next ! No. 5 looks very disconsolate. He said : I reckon I'll have to pay. My wife told me to do something none of you would have done if you had been in my place." "What was it ?" She said : 'So you thought you would come home at last. Now hadn't you better go out to the well and drink a couple of buckets of water just to a&tonish your stomach V That was more than I had bargained for — &o it's my funeral." — Mark Lane Express.

Of all the evil spirits abroad at this hour in the world, insincerity is the mo&t dangerous. — Froudc. Two young people were recently slightly injured by lightning while out. riding. Her left cheek and his right one was scorched. It is evident that they were not married, or the lightning would never have struck both. What this country wants is reply postal cards, and to save tiouble the reply might as well be printed on them in advance by the Government. The words, " Very sorry, but can't pay your bills this week ; some other week," would about hit most cases.— Philadelphia New*. Equality is the life of conversation ; and he is as much out who assumes to himself any part above another, as he ■who considers himself below the rest of society.— Sir Hie/tard Stesle. Writing on the late war Truth says :— Suiely we are not about to allow the wicked system of confiscation of the pioperty of the " rebels" to be enforced in Egyjjt. Every modern writer on jurisprudence has denounced its iniquity, and it has ceased to be recognized as legitimate in every civilized country . If it is necessary to deprive one of his revenues— a doubtful principle at all times — they pass on to his heirs. Tin: Canadians have invented a very entertaining game at cards, which is now much patronized on the ocean steamers. It is called Qintlre Vtitch. The cards are dealt out to the players, of whom there may be any number playing by leaving out cards enough to make the deal come out even. There are ten deals, and the object of each player is to avoid taking a knave, which counts as follows : clubs, 4 ; spades, 3 ; hearts, 2 ; diamonds, 1. The best hand is a low hand, which cannot take a trick. Players follow suit, the highebt caul takes, and each playei tries to get rid of any knave he may have in his hand by throwing it or any high card away when unable to follow suit. After playing ten hands the number of knaves taken by each player is summed up, and the person taking the lowest number wins the game. It is a favourite game at the hotels of the Canadian watering places. — (loin I Journal. The Wahaiapa Slur has the following : — There is a, veiy amusing comic journal published in Ameiica called " Puck." The issue of September 27, just to hand, contains a coloured cat toon, which is calculated to shake the neives of the most sober, and prosaic of Englishmen. In the foregiouud is a length} family train, headed by Her- Biitannio Majesty, keeling against an alter with hands clasped, and features betiaying the stiongest emotions, while behind is a large family group of princes and princesses in a most devotional attitude. In front of the Royal de\ otees, arc a couple of wigged and gowned statesmen, with eyes upturned, and months representing the letter Yremsed, while behind the altar, in the corner, a.re a couple of uplifted hands. On the walls of the cathedral is the inscription, l> Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love your enemies ; bless them that ciuse you. On earth peace and goodwill towards men ;" \\ hile near Her Majesty, at the foot of the altar, is an open book, with the words on its pages, " Whosever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." In the corner of the cartoon, behind the thanksgivers,is a lurid representation of the field of battle— shells bursting in the air, and dark-skinned Egyptians rolling over in their dying agonies. For a title we have the inscription, " Is. it Christian to thank God for Islam slaughter ?" '"Mr Gladstone has lequested the Arch bishop of York to order than sgiving in the churches for the success of the Brititsh arms in Egypt.' Telegram from England. ' ' Tjbe Fjuxkfokt Rothschilds.— The two brothers, the Barons Rothschild of the old ancestral house in Frankfort-on-the-Muin, have sent in their report of their income for the purpose of taxation, and the German papers are printing a good deal of gossip abont it. The younger brother, Wilhelm, or Willy" as he is called in half the journals, ap-pears-to be the richer man of the two, at all events for the present taxable year. His returns stand at the figures of 4,7BB,ooomarks. The elder brother, Maier Karl, on the other hand, only owns to the smaller income of 4,560,000 marks. According to the figures rendered by himself to the Government, Baron Willy Rothschild enjoys a daily income of 13,120 marks, or over £630. An antiSemitic print details the figures more closely, and exclaims that this wealthy Jew is receiving 5(54 marks of German money, or £28 English reckoning, every hour about 9s every minute and 2d every second. Twopence a second does not seem much, but one has only to recollect, observes our contemporary, that there are 31,536,000 seconds in a year. If Baron Willy Rothschild shonld enjoy 40 years of life, and put down his expenditure at a million marks a year, he will leave behind him for his heirs four hundred million marks more than his exceedingly wealthy father left him. A legacy of two million pounds is something 'Stupendous to contemplate. Half the, Sovereigns in Europe, in another generation, will be beggars in comparisdn with ."the kings of money. r { ,Thb parcel sjitpm in sewing machines.— Singer i(h an ")» *" Is ; Singer's .improved with cover and! WL extras, £5 ss; Wertboini, £i 10s; Home '•Shuttle,' £3; Knitting Machine, £7. Howe. White, Davis, ,&<*., always in stock at D. S, Chambers, 70, Queen-street, Auckland, 'Whole* gfa^ aod jßetaiJ Jje^in^ ajaeJunejDeMU },*{,!