CHAPTEB XLIL—(Continued.)

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1628, 9 December 1882, Page 1 (Supplement)

CHAPTEB XLlL— (Continued.)

"But, surely amongst educated men," I said to Shuter, when the talk had once more become general, "such restrictions as the second and third must prove very irksome by tending to cramp and cripple conversation." Shuter laughed. "That's just it!" he said. "Funds chiefly from fines. Fellows always being fined. Next to impossible to keep such rules. See all four regulations broken before the night's over. First rule's a standing' one, you know; the others are changed 'every meeting. Sometimes prohibited from quoting poetry; sometimes for- j bidden to mention particular science or art, or city, or country, and so on. Understand ?" " Yes," I answered, laughing at the whimBicality of the arrangement. " Have you ever had the mention of Melbourne itself prohibited?" "Yes; several times. Great fun it was; fellows getting fined every minute. Hallo, somebody's broken a rule now 1" A terrific knocking upon the table was succeeded by a dead silence, in the . midst of which Kangaroo Eleven rose and charged Kangaroo Fifty-two with having broken the second rule by using the phrase" a priori." Kanparoo Fifty-two, an excitable little man in a pea-jacket, denied that he had broken the rule. " A priori" he maintained, was practically one word, and could not, therefore, be considered as coming under the rule, whioh provided only against the use of classical phrases, They might as well fine him, he contended, for using the word " ultimatum." This nice point the parties were proceeding to argue with great vigour and erudition, when the Grand Kangaroo put a summary end to the discussion by thundering tremendously upon the table, and declaring that, by the authority in Mm vested, he declared "« priori" to be a phrase, within the meaning of the rule, and that Kangaroo Fifty-two was fined accordingly. But the small man, who had evidently been imbibing more than was good for him, jumped to his feet. " I protest 1" he cried, " and if Dr. Jocelyn thinks" ' A universal roar of " Breach, breach !" proclaimed that the speaker had, in his excitement, committed an offence of the first magnitude by naming the Grand Kangaroo, and another and heavier fine was immediately recorded against him. Kangaroo Fifty-two having thereupon laughed a wild and scornful laugh, and audibly expressed his contempt — both personally and officially — for the Grand Kangaroo, another member rose and called attention to the fact that Fifty-two was not quite sober, and had referred to the G.K. as a " dunderheaded old noodle." This statement was confirmed by another Kangaroo, who begged to move, therefore, that Kangaroo Fifty-two be declared a Kangaroo Bat and relegated to the third table. The motion having been put to to the vote, was carried by a large majority, and the recalcitrant Fifty-two was conveyed by the Old-Man Kangaroo to the meanlyfurnished board at the end of the room, where he filled a tin mug with beer, upset it immediately afterwards uj^on the table, and fell asleep with his head in the puddle. The fun now grew fast and furious, and the fines became more frequent, until at last the Grand Kangaroo himself was convicted of a treble breach of the temporary rules. Two more members having been declared Kangaroo Bats, had been removed to the third table, but, nothing daunted by their banishment, were hob-nobbing and toasting each other in tipsy good-fellowship, and, as their tin vessels clinked together* the Grand Kangaroo, who had himself arrived at a very mellow condition, began to chaunt in a rich, oily baritone : "And let me the pannikin clink, cliiik ; And let me the pannikin clinic : A soldier's a man, A lifo's bat a span, Why then let—" " Peccavi /" he broke off, recollecting himself and forgetting himself at one and the same time, " Well, I know its a breach," he added, as the Latin expression called forth renewed cries of " Breach 1" " I quite forgot the rule about singing." "The Grand Kangaroo has broken two rules," said a member, rising. "He has just used a Latin word, which, by his own ruling of an hour ago, must be taken as a phraoe." "The Grand Kangaroo has broken three rules," said another. "His song was a quotation from Shakspere." " Shakspere 1" echoed the Grand Kangaroo. " Nonsense ! — where can you find anything about a pannikin in Shakspere?" "I am positive I have, met with the words somewhere ia his -works," was the reply. •• Mr. Shuter will .probably be able to — — " Here the speaker was himself interrupted by the ory of " Breach !", and, haying been duly fined for naming Shuter, he corrected himself and went on to say that Kangaroo Thirty-seven would probably be able to mention in what play the words occurred. " Second act, of Othello-," said Shuter.' " Cassio's song in the drunken scene. Word he uses is^ ' can*kin,' though — not'panni-'. .kin." ' , Upon this slight discrepancy, however, the Grand Kangaroo scorned to take (his stand, and, %11 three, finei having been recorded against,, him, ; he comforted: himself ; ,with ,a> goodly jorum of punch, looked at, hi? watch,* and snnounced^ that' it, was eleven , o'clock, and time for the " Grand Test." , . One of the. .Old-Man Kangaroos . immediately rose, from 1 his qeat, and,, taking a piece of chalk from, his> pocket, proceeded, with preternatural {solemnity to draw a line along the unoccupied part , of the floor. The mark, I presumed was in-; tended,for,a straight r onq,ibut .the ,air ,qf exceeding sobriety with which the , official-,corq-mencejl operationjs^proyod, -t]q be but a/ .hollo^r! „ mockery/ f 6ry b^6re he Md l 'c6mt>leted;,maiiy ;t . feet of the^erratjojzig^^

" Altogesher too mush 1" he repeated several times, and then, finding something very affecting in that consideration, fell incontinently a-weeping. Seized upon by two of his brethren, he was brought before the Grand Kangaroo, and, without the formality of a vote, relegated to the third table, his' silver kangaroo having been first transferred to another member, who succeeded in drawing the line correctly, and then announced that the Grand Test was' ready. , The Grand Kangaroo's chair was now wheeled round so as to face the line, and all the members in succession having been made to " walk the chalk," a dozen or so were selected to undergo the ordeal a second time. This batch having also been divided into two portions, the Old-Man-Kangaroo advanced to the Grand Kangaroo, and announced that there were six Wallabies and four Kangaroo-Bats. " Wallabies," explained Shutter, " are the slightly tipsy fellows, sent, you see, to the second table. The other fellows are downright drunk." "Dont you think, then," asked Walter, " That the Grand Kangaroo himself is in the Wallaby stage, at least?" " More than that !" said Shuter. " Exempt, though — cX'Officio." " Haven't you broken a rule by saying exoffmo ?" I asked. "So I have ! No one heard me but you, though. See how difficult it is to avoid being fined, eh ? There he goes !— collapsed at last," added Shuter, referring to the Grand Kangaroo, who, having seen the Wallabies and Kangaroo-Bats duly bestowed at their respective tables, had fallen asleep in the very act of lighting a cigar. Peacefully slumbering, with the weed in one hand and his head resting on the other, the Grand Kangaroo's open mouth presented too strong a temptation to a facetious gentleman, who sat on his right, and, who, filling a large spoon with a delectable compound of porter, sherry, and cigar-ash, inserted it between the great man's lips. There was a gasp— a snort — and, drawing back his arm with too much suddeness, the practical joker brought his elbow into violent contact with the nose of his next neighbour, who, with stooped head and bated breath, was awaiting the result of the experiment. In an instant all was confusion. Starting fiercely up, the Grand Kangaroo seized his baton, and began to belabour the person next to him, who, as the real culprit had darted out of the way, chanced to be the man who had already received the bump on the nose. Bleeding profusely from that organ, the injured Kangaroo became outrageous at this fresh assault, and, seizing a champagne bottle from the table, would undoubtedly have broken the Grand Kangaroo's august head, had not Shuter dexterously seized the uplifted arm in the nick of time. The Old-Man-Kan-garoo now interposed ; explanations ensued ; and peace was in a fair way of being restored, when an over-officious member thought proper to point out to the Grand Kangaroo the person who had been the original cause of the uproar. This so enraged the compounder of the mixture, that he declared he would make the informer swallow the mess himself, and had left his seat for that purpose, when a large orange, flung from amongst the worshipful company of Kangaroo-Eats, struck him plump in the eye. Already unsteady on his legs, the blow staggered him, and, grasping at the tablecloth in a wild, but futile, attempt to recover his balance, over he went, dragging the cloth with him, and strewing the floor with bottles, glasses, jugs, basins, and decanters, commingled in one wild mass of destruction. A moment's silence succeeded the astounding crash of the falling glass and china, and then arose a madder tumult than ever. The degraded exiles at the inferior tables united their forces, and charged up the room upon the Kangaroos, who, nothing loth, addressed themselves as eagerly to the fight, and, amidst the shouts of the combatants, the sound of the blows, and the rattle of falling chairs, we made our way from the room ; the last object we beheld being the Grand Kangaroo, with a bump over his eye, and his coat torn half off his back, laying about him like a Trojan with his official truncheon. " High time to clear out 1" said Shuter, as we descended to the street. " Greatest shindy we've had yet. Club's getting too rowdy. Fun's all very well, but this is carrying matters too far !" " What is it called the Kangaroo Club for ?" I asked, " I cannot see any appropriateness in the name." " Distinctive Australian animal, that's all ! Wallabies and kangaroo rats may be considered inferior varieties of the same species, you know. Told you to expect nonsense, you remember. This is my way. Must bid you good-ijight — or rather good-morning." " You had better stop with me for the remainder of the night," said Walter, when Shuter had marched off. "Then you can come and see me start upon my journey."