THE EDITORS WAGER.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1627, 7 December 1882, Page 4

THE EDITORS WAGER.

The Editor sit in MscKaiv alone, ' < ' ". A busier person there never was known ; Wheflrifl üblnd a farmer,- a jolly old soul, > Whose name for long years had been borue'on-the.'i-oHt '•> - ■ Of paying subscribers. He hod' come into town • - / To bring his, good wife and some farm prpduce dovyn, ' , And, having a, inoineut or two he . could spar.o,, ) , Had run in, as usual, to bring in a share Of his own inward sunshine, to lighten the gloom Of the man of the Press, and his dull cheerless room. The Editor's smile, as lie lifted his eyes And saw who was there, was a joyful sur- , prize ; And lie greeted his friend with a deal of glacT zest. , For a chat w ith him was like taking a rest, When at length the old farmer got ready to leave, He said, with a sly little laugh in his sleeve, "My dear friend there is only one thing I \van't to say— j No«\ please don't get vexed, for you lsnow its my way :—: — ( But.what makes you put in each paper l you print So much that is worthless, do you take the hint; ? "Well, petty misfortunes, and litfcie misdeeds, And lots of small matter that nobody x - ends. The editor looked at hint square in the face, At first when a frown, then a smile took • it place. "My dear fiiend," he replied, "I'm surprised yon don't know Every tine in the paper is read ; but it's so ; And now, if you wish, I will make my words good, And, prove what I say, as every man should, I'll put in the very next paper a line Or two about you, in coiioo piint or line, Whichever you choose, and just where you may say, And if yon don't lind on the very next day That your neighbours all read it, I piomised to give Free suii&cuptioiis to you as long ab 1 live. ' " Agreed." b.iid the fanner, "you shall I

hing a new song ; Put it light in the middle of one of those long Fine-type advcitUcmcnts— l never yet . Knew Any person of sense to read one of those throutjh If I hear tioin it twice I will bring down to you The Iw&fc load of gdiden sauce I evei giew." Then the '" good days ' weio pasued, and the farmei went out, And tlic editor laughed to himbulf, without doubt, As he thought of his wages, and how it would end, And the nice little joke he Mould have on his friend ; Then lie wiote just two lines, and he ordered them set In the smallest of type thinking " I'll win thiit bet," And he placed them himself to be s>iue and not fail In the inid&t of a elosr agate 1 cnl estate bale ;

For to better .succeed in hi-s little designs, He'd selected the place where to put those lines, And h.ivu them connected with what followed and make A sentence complete it itself, without break These the lines that he wrote : " Our old Fuend, good James True, "Who i- one of tlie bc->t men in the world e\ei knew , Of the. well-known Hope Faun"' — th.it was all tluit lie said About .f.uncs ; fmt the next fine fro fa h iln."<e two read, " }>v hold very chop"' — then went on to unfold The beauties and bounds of the land to be sold. The pit per was punted. The next day but one The f.uinei c.une in with his eyes full of fun. "You h,i\c won," he began," jiiat as Mite as you"ie bom :—: — "Why bofoie I got breakt.u.t ate yesterday 1110111. Two or tlnee neighbours called, on pur- j pose to .see What tli.it meant in the paper they saw about inc. (T hndn t been it yet.) Then dining the day, Kvoiy neighbour that met me had .something to say About my being sold. I was told \ery cheap, And jon did it well, too; it was too good to keep. iSol\e told the whole stoiy, and come with all speed To bi ing )on the g-iulcn sauce and I ajjiced."' The editor looked from his w indow and saw His liiend had Inouirht in all hia hoiscs could diaw — All for him : he declined to accept it, but found That hi-j fiiend would not listen, and was oil with a bound. Saying, eheciily, as he went out — "In jotir no\t Just say Jim Trues pi caching, and thi& is his text', Theio's nought in the paper — lruifc, floweiti, or weeds — Xor a line in the paper that nobody icad." 10. P. To ism . (Fioi/i tin Pi <n idem r Journal.)

On the occasion of the recent Russian christening of the C/ar's last child, the official icpoi ts announced that indescribable entluisiam pie\ ailed among the outside eiowds, hut oniinitted to mention that twenty-two women weie on that day ancsteil as JJihilists. Tin.. Minister of Public Education in Russia has found that tlie oxpeii'iiimt of giving elemental}' insti uction in medicine at the municipal schools of St Petersburg answers so well that he ;it> authorised its extension to all the municipal schools thioughout the empire. O^TRiciii'.s, m Inch digest tenpenny nails, oiinnot stand tobacco. Tlie otlipr duy, says the Xiitnl Il'/hr^, a farmer living near Ziuubion was standing in one of his ostiich camps smoking a ineeischaum pipe, when one of his most valuable breeding birds came up and snatched the pipe from his mouth and swallowed it. In a \ cry short time the bud was dead, having been poisoned by the nicotine in the pipe. Hot; Ciiolkiu iv Pennsylvania.— The latest pestilence among the herds which supply tlie British consumer with pork has biokcn out in Pennsylvania, and is supposed to be what is commonly known as hog cholera, and is a contagious inflammation of the lungs and bowels, accompanied with led and purple blotches of the skin. The animal at first is dull, loses his appetite, lies down, and moves unwillingly. In a few days the symptoms of the disease show themselves. This consists in the appearance of d.uk red or purple blotches, passing into a bluish black colour if ho, is a white hog. Tjie, discolourations arc very soon discoveied. Soon the breathing becomes panning, and laboured. Hois pabried in hisihiud-quarters, and if driven up r'nns N reeling with his hind legs and his Ji'oacJ. dropped to the ground. At this 'stage diarrhea sometimes sets in, and the fatal terniiiyitioii' is reached, sometimes in, a fftf £WP'\- '^ ne «ause}qf,f;lie disejise is not known, but it is attributed to extrejnqs, of tempevfttwyp and- the >yet aea.9oll, -feeding onjotfpj* Bwampyj r SQijB anfl,! impure vfdtQV' ' &ft(fPJ*lHsr# applied failed *to