ECHOES FROM THE CAFE. A NATlVE WOMAN BURNED "CIVIS" ON THE COMET.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1619, 18 November 1882, Page 3

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

A NATIVE WOMAN BURNED

"C IVI S" ON T HE COMET.

Well ! 'Ch^aplß.-SllTtfOook place t success. llrn^ ev an " quality of (lie expiblfe went it was abou • partiMnWtJus ,jvas; rt)| ffi'e ' caW '|h attendance 'was, however, very proi For tUisT ihircO sfterof[ fws reasons The first was that the wet, squall weatheq, ion ,\vhiflh nd-one pouhlbe heli responsible, detained a number of peopl from going.-/ We .must- take , the wcnthe as it comes* > and be 'thankftil for wha we get,ior, if we cannot .feel .thankful we muatigrinsand bear it. > One effect ol the bad- weather was itha't h good deal o the agricultural •machinery was more 01 less damaged, and the exhibitors will he put to a considerable .amount of expense and trouble* in consequence; If the Agricultural Society expect pe6ple to exhibit valuable machinery 1 they must provide prbper sheds' for I its, protection, Otherwise this attractive adjunct of olu Cattle Shows will be, like the .civility ol our civil servants,- conspicuous -by its absence. . The other reason of . the poor attendance! at the Cattle Show was the fact •that the North Shore Regrtfcta took place, or rather should have taken place on the same day.. There are nearly- a dozen holidays in the course of the year, almost u any iof which would be quite as suitable for the North Shore Regatta as the Prince of Wales' Birthday, and I think ;that the action of the Regatta Committee in fixing bn that day, which Has been for years the recognised ca*tle*slio^rSaynra" tlirtfay 'on "wlrfclr to hold their regatta is the acme of meanness. Th(|y>jar3e as mean astjhc Hayblossoni Gdldnunmg Company, of whom xMJa.rk, friend;-. od , rather- enemy, tells. I will tell the story as Veil as my memory serves me. ' • ' The conversation had, turned upon meanness, 'rind Mark Twain had mentioned one or two very mean actions '"•When the man Mirkiss "chipped in" \yitli "It is a pity to see a young man like you exposing his ignorance in that way. You are ignorant of the very A B C of meanness, as ignorant as an unborn bull, as ignoVant as unborn twins. If you want to know what meanness is you ou«ht to know the Hayblbssom Goldmining Company (the Incorporated Company of Meart Men the boys call them). John Henry Jones \vas the honoured companion of my youth, the friend of my later years. John Henry Jones hiicd himself to the Hayblossom Goldmining Company to do some' blasting for them. One day he was ramning home a charge. He stood over tihe hole, ram, ram, lutnniiigt when suddenly the crowbar he was using struck a' spark, and the charge went off and sent John Henry Jones in the air. He went up, and up, and up, until 'he look no bigger than a boy. He went up still higher until he looked no bigger than a baby. He went up higher still until he looked no bigger than a doll. He went up, and up, and up, until lie looked no bigger than a bee. Then he went up higher still until he went out of sight. IVesently, he came into sight again, looking no bigger than a bee. He came down lower until he looked as large as a doll, lower until lie seemed as big as a baby, lower yet until he looked as large as a boy, lower yet until he seemed a full-sized man once more. He came down again in the very place from which he had staitcd, and went ram, — ram, —ramming as before. He had been away from his woik only seven niinuteb, but— would you believe it?— that Incorporated Company of Mean Men docked liis wages for the 'timej: he had been away." Onr Incorporated Company of Mean Men — the North Shore Regatta Committee—were unfortunate in their choice of a day. Not only was it vet in the morning, but there was a stiong &ou'westui.' blowing, with frequent squalls. The consequence was that 'a number pf vessels were capsized, one, unfortunately, with loss of life, and mo&t of the races had to be postponed. Had it not been for the Maori NVar Canoe Race, which did not come oft", the regatta would have been financially, as it was otherwise, a failure on Thursday. I would suggest that, in future, it should take place on one of the New Year holidays. Then there would be less likelihood of squally weather, and it would not militate against the success of the Cattle Show. It would take away a few people from the laces, but not many, as people \\ ho go to the races do not cue for regattas and vice Virsit, and there are many who like to go once or twice to the meets, but do not care to go on tlnce days. At any 'rate, if the choice lii s between the injni y of the Cittlc Show or ot the races, I should certainly prefer to give the Cattle Show the benefit of the doubt. The Maaii War Canoe Race? (Lind compositor, please put a very largo note of interrogation after the Word " l.vcc'') came of! on Saturday afternoon, and was dc->ciibed by many as "another North Shore- swindle." Theie wab leally no race at all, as the Ng.vpuhis (the Bay of Inlands natives) hid built a light canoe especially for the race, whereas the innocent Waikato nathed paddled genuine old war canoes. The latter piotchtcd against the canoe of the Ngapulu«t, and so an arrangement was made that, if the Bay canoe won the race, it was to receive the second prize (£.">()). while the IVuibato canoe which camu in second was to receive the fiist piize (£100). Many people were disappointed when they found that only three canoes wcie to compete, as the report that there were seven had been industriously circulated. If there weie seven, it was pretty much in the same way as in the pathetic story, " Wo are seven," told by Wordsworth, to whose shade I make n»y most humble apology for the following parody ; — " Two a( them were on the K.isl CoMt loft ; I'wo more at the 'Jli.inu'i did stay: Two c.imo from the b.niUs of the Waikjto, And .1 swindle came from the I'niy." That impudent little humbug, Sydney Taiwhanga, and his two companions have leturned from their tiip to England, where they A\eic better treated than they either expected or deserved to be. When Sydney found that none of his native companions (no reference intended to that stately bird, " Campbell," which stalks about so majestically at Waiwera) did not assemble to welcome him on his return, he mu&t have felt, son y that he did not " chum " with liishop Luck, the new Roman Catholic Bishop of Auckland, and come on here to receive part of the welcome accorded to the prelate. He has cheek enough for that, or for anything el&e. Just fancy the impudence of the man, expressing his regret that he was mairied, as, had he not Been, lie could have had for a wife "a . very nice lady with Inrtfc means." I am sure that no one regrets the fact .that he is marticd so much as the poor, unfortunate m oman who is his wifo. With regard to the Roman Catholic Bishop already mentioned, it is to be hoped that he will prove an able and , efficient head of that large section of the community over which he is to rule in spiritual matters. The Roman Catholics have been rather unfortunate with their bishops. Bishop Pompallier wad, I believe, a good, old gentleman, but too feeble for the position he held. Under his regime the finances of the diocese got into a sad state. Biship Croke, who succeeded him after a considerable interregnum, was an able man, but he did not stay here long enough to put aU matters, right. Bishop Steins, who followed him *fter another long interregnum, was, I bclive, both a good and an able, man/ but his' health was so bad '.that 'he had ; to go j 'away from here — to 'go^away'ito did There* Ifcsibeeh another long* jnteiTGglium, and now 'Bishop Luck has come. "Poi 1 thci sake of the Roman Catholic Church 'here J hope he will prove himself a good man, and a man ofiability|(andfthat he 'may be long spared to rule his diocese. ' >'• ">' _^_ -"g^-jnnnnr. -

Mt George Aldrirlge will l6cture'«,t Le - Ouesne's Hall to-morrow night' on '" Th(^ New,

Our Raglkt^dKrAßgpflftoH writing on Wednesddy^^ws|FnS|Sa«e just received intelligence^at>w Maori-woman has been burned to'death at Maari,, From the report; I lehVn, thkt l dn; t ™day inb'rnlug, while some native's were npproachinc-Hhe' village, nthjpivQ^u^oo^Jlfi^a-acted to a house WHchuad caught five, and on approaching it they lioticed that'll 'woman was in>the> flames. "She. was evidently dead before'they saw'herj and.it -was at that itinie a matter of 'impossibility to reach her, although every effort \vas used to do 'so. Any person will readily realise this, M'hen they consider' with what fierceness a fire must burn when con'suining a house built of such inflamnble material as that usually used by the Maoris .in the construction of their dwellings. When at last the body \vas secured, it was so much destroyed by the fire as to be beyond identification. It was, however, proved ifterwards that she 'was a woman of about fifty yeavs of > age,' and the belief prevalent'amongst- her • people at the present, timejjs that she set fire to the house wi^li the intention of committing suicide, iv which ,pui'posa she most effectually succeeded. -' , • „ ,

' { 'TnK Rev. E. Best, _of.Cbristehnrcli,^nßS nßrfl^m^jv^r^V^ tO. tue..C,omci'j Tin's is how it begins :— > wnilc millions sleep, I stand and g;ue on theo. Picture the Rcv.-B&fc,»eWrt"only itf"th| scanty habiliments of night, " hailing f the comeTlti rtt&pel've^e from' his h>»\--room window.- The situation touches the sublime,.am}, the, Rev. Bpsb iliviilea liis a»liiiirotlf$n f> bctwcuu ihe" gldi'idits'stmhger'* ;ind himself— While millions slcpj>,T stand.mil gara on time! The thought that,"n)illi|)ns sleeji" whilst lie, Best, stands shivering in his nightshirt, affords him the same comfortable assurance of virtue which the Ph..rUeo in the Temple derived from tho*" contrast of "that publican." With n preacher's inatiuut he hastens to "improve tho occasion." AH the circiiw stances arc f.ivo'ir.ible. Tho human .race, ns wo have befii told. is. asleep { nobody is about but 1 Mr 33est and the coin6t. The preacher has the " glorious stranger" at a disadvanfcige, ami proceeds to ask him questions out of theChurcji Catcchipm and deliver him aii evangelical ''address." What please* the general reader in this address is' the .faet'thatit U as ninch about Mr Best as abou^ the comet, The " glorious strangei? is informed that the Creator made "both thee and me." and Is requested to state whether he (the U.S.) haa ever before been seen l>y " ofcl]Br-ey«s,Uk,&jninc." As the comet flashes %;T 7< womlro\id train" from his "great bright eyes," even so would the llov. Ei .B. iliiifiijnatc hi-* little sphere. The Rev. K. 8., in short, is convinced that a similarity exists between the comet and minsblf, and hence finds it impossible to keep himself out of Ins sonij. Ctyojst >qd;sittosieF jpreacher, the "glorious stranger has at present some poin^ of advantage.^ For one thing, he-flails aloft" aniongst the stars and travels at the rate of some million miles an hour. By and by the tables will be turned/-. t^u<l the, Ilew E. Best will beat the conie't' on th'e I'l comet's own ground—will , Perchance overtake And pass thco in thy -lliglit, .md trace thy course Through ages yet to come, and spend my being In service nobler far than tliinc. Till then, farewell. There is a "meet me at" Phillippi'" tone in Mr Best's "farewell." "You can outshine aiid outsail me at present, 1' he says, " but wait till I get my wjngs, aud we'll see about that.. Till then, 1 farewell !" With which note of defiance tlie poet .and preacher, probably feeling cold about "the legs, waves the comet a'lofty uu revolt; and, gets back again' into his bed. One feels that if anything could add interest to the visit of the "glorious stranger," it is the fact that he has been addressed by the Rev. Mr Best. As for the reverend gentleman himself, he 1 has, no doubt, a sense of satisfaction in having been instant in season and out Si season. He' 13 conscious that he .has done his duty, and ouly regrets that he is not able to get a copy of his " Address" 1 pinned to the comet's tail.—W<V lVitia-sb. '