Humour. IT WAS A FAST "HOSS," How A Waterbury Nag Beat A Thunder Storm Between Danbury And This City.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1613, 4 November 1882, Page 2 (Supplement)

Humour. IT WAS A FAST "HOSS," How A Waterbury Nag Beat A Thunder Storm Between Danbury And This City.

A prominent Waterbury " hoss" man was expatiating upon the speeding qualities of a fine horse to a prospective buyer, the other day, In reply to an interrogatory regarding the animal's "staying" qualities he said: "Stay? Well, I guess he'll stay ; and he'll keep his gait right up as long as you want to drive, I'll jest tell you about a drive I took from Danbury lafet summer. A drummer got left by the New England train, and came up to my stable to get some one to take him over. The boys were all busy an' most o' thehoraes was out. John, as we call him, had been drove up to Bantam the day before, an' didn't get in till after twelve o'clock, an' I hadn't let him that morning. I knew 'twas rough on the old fellow, but I knew't he was good for it, so I hitched up, an' we started. 'Twas a bilin' hot day and dusty's fury; hadn't been no rain for a week, but we got to Danbury all right, just after noon. I put John in the stable, an' after dinner I set out on the stoop to the Wooster House, smokin' an' thinkin' I'd wait till the cool o' the day before I drove back. It seemed to git hotter'n hotter an' we had to git in doors an' set in the bar-room. Well I Bet there till after four 1 o'clock, readin' a paper an' drinlrin' rum and ice water, when I heard it thunder. I went out on the stoop an' see there was a shower coming, so I ordered my hoss brought right out. Mr. Baymond triecl his levelest to make me stay, said I'd get soaked through, an' like enough git struck by ligh'tnin'. But I told him I'd got to git homethat night anyhow, an' if I started right off I'd git there ahead of the shower. You oughter 'a' heard him an' and the other fellers, laugh when I said that. Of course I didn't; expect to do anything of the sort, but I didn't know John so well then as Ido now. Where the hostler brought John around to the door, the rain was a comin' whole water betwixt there an' Mill Plain, an' we could hear the wind roarin, through the trees up back o' the fair ground. John, he kndwed that suthiu' unusual was up, for he stood, pawin' and a workin' his ears, an' kinder lookin' up to me as much's to say: 'Old man, yer don't know how much of a hoss I be when I set about it, 1 an' I confess I didn't know. Wai, •when I got in an' took up them reins, the hail stones had begun to rattle on the kitchen roof to the hotel, an' the thunder claps was tryin' to see which, could make the most noise. I jest sung out to John to git, an' you may reckon he did git. TUvery time a fresh thunder clap broke loose he seemed to take it as an argymentforhim to go faster. I had thebuggy top up when I started, but afore we'd gone a mile I had to let it down flat, for the air pressed into it so solid that I couldn't breathe. When we got into the holler jest t'other side o' Newtown I looked over my shoulder, an' the wind was racin' down the hill, not twentyrods behind, an' the gutters was runnin' full o' water, and when we got onto Newtown green the holler was six inches deep with water. When we went through the centre the houses looked as if they was all whirlin' round, an' it sort o' made me v dizzy. John didn't seem to notice nothin', but kep' goin' faster'n faster till we jus' flew down the long hill through Sandy Hook. John's legs wasin the air all the time, an 1 I'll bet his belly want a foot from the ground. When we crossed the rubber shop bridge I happened to think o' the toll-gate at Bennetts bridge, three miles ahead. I went to countin' out the change for toll, but afore I could, git my purse into my pocket agin we come in sight of the bridge. I could see the gate was shut, but a woman was out doors pickin' up some chips 'fore they got wet. She must V thought we was a runaway, for she dropped, an apern full o' chips an 1 flopped that gate open in less'n a quarter o' a second, an' just in the nick o' time to save John's jumpin' it. I tried to chuck the toll out, but all but three cents stuck on to my fingers jest by the force o' the wind — we was goin' that fast. John slowed a trifle ciossin' the long bridge, 'cause he must ha' seen the notice about fast drivin' stuck up at the end. , But when we got ofl'n the planks we more'n made up for it. You'd 'a' thought we'd bin crawlin' before by the way we went now. Up hill an' down we went a flukin' w,ith the thunder roarin' an' hail an' rain ratfclin' some o' the time not twenty feet behind. Jest afore we struck Southbury I heared a cracklin', an' lookm 1 around I see what looked, like a sky-rooket on the tellygraf wire an' I knowed 'twas a. streak o' lighthin 1 tryin' to ketch us. Thinks I, ' John, old boy, you're beat now, sure,' but I just give a 'cluck an' he doubled on his gaii rite off. That streak tagged us to Southbury centre, when it got sick o' the job an 1 flew off onto the roof of Pulford's grocery. I , noticed, when John struck' this last spurt that the slack o' the reins kept Bhortenin' up till I had. to get on my knees an' reach over the dashboard to keep hold of 'em : them ere traces had stretched high two feet an' the whiffle- • tree was bent up like a rainbow. I'd a had to've dropped the lines if I hadn't had a long tie-rein in the buggy and spliced 'em out., Wa was flyin'' so fast after leaving Southbury that the telegraph poles on the country road looked like a solid fence, and all I could see of Middlebury was the top of the church steeple which was higher'n the poles. Wai, sir, when I drove into this stable that thunder shower was laggin' along over by the Breakneck four corners. There was just five hailstuns in the back of the buggy that must 'a' got in when John slowed, his. gait ' on Bennetts bridge. What' ails his mane, did you say? Same thing't ails my head ; the Mciion 'o' the air took the hair all off at that time, that sir, was drivin', that was, an' I've got , the wealtti that says, John can do as well again."— Wctferbwry American. , ,

is said, that along thY coast of Newfoundland,' devil-fiah, with' arms of unheard of* length, 'aYe so 1 numerous " that prttdjnt men, go liack 1 ten miles, in the, countrjr, to get drunlc,'*' Perhapfaf all the residents' along ■ [there were prudent;' and wentfout^f|sighi of / f r ihk diore to get^drunk, there 'would* b^fewer ; "