ARTEMUS WARD GOES HOME.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1595, 23 September 1882, Page 4

ARTEMUS WARD GOES HOME.

„ » , "It was late when I got home. The children and my wife was all a-bed. But a candle— a caudle made < from taller ot our own raisin'— gleamed in Hetsy's> room ; , it gleamed for I ! All was still. Tfief sweet silvery moou was a shinin' bright, anJ the beantiful stars was up to their usual doina ! I felt a sontymental mood ao gently ore me stealin', I pawsed before Betsy's winder, and sung in a kind of op'ratic vois, as follers, impromtoo, to wit : W.ike, Ucssy, wake, My sweet galoot ! Rise up, fairy lady, While I touch my lute ! The winder— l regret to say that the winder went up with a violent crash, and a form robed in spotless white exclaimed, ' Cum into the house, you old fool. To-morrer you'll be goin' round complainin' about your liver !' I sot up a speil by the kitchen fire rcadin' Lewis Napoleon's 'Life of Julius Cresar. ' Wh at a reckless old cuss he was ! Yit Lewis picture him in glowin' cullers. Gaesar made it lively for the boys in Gaul, didn't he ? He slewed one million of citizens, male andfemale — Gauls andGaulusses — and than he sold another million of 'em into slavery. He continnered this cheerful stile of thing for sum time, when one day he was 'asaiuted in Rome by some high-toned Roman gentl'meu, led on by Mr Brutus. When old Bruty inserted his knife into him, Cresar admitted that he was gone up. His funeral was a great success, the house bein' crowded to its utmost capacity. Ten minutes after the doors were opened the ushers had to put up cards on which was printed ' Standin' Room Only. I went to bed at last. 'And so.' I said, ' thou has no ear for sweet melody !' A silvery snore was my only answer. Betsy slept."