FAMOUS EPIGRAMS. FAMOUS EPIGRAMS.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1592, 16 September 1882, Page 6

FAMOUS EPIGRAMS. FAMOUS EPIGRAMS.

I sent for EadcKffe ; was so ill, That other doctors gave me over. He felt my pulse, prescribed his pill, Said I was likely to recover. But when the wit began to wheeze, _ And wine had warmed the politician, Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my / physician. — Mattheio Prior. When Tadlow walks the streets the paviors cry ; " God bless you sir 1" andlay their rammerri by. . — Evams. / Nature and Nature's laws lay hid in night ; Godsaid: "Let Newton be!" and all was light. —Pqpa. MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN. <■ Cries Sylvia to a reverend Dean :'■ " What reasons can be given, i Since marriage is a holy thing, ; That there is none in heaven ?*' " There are no women," he replied She quick returns the jest : 11 Women there are, but I'm afraid They cannot'find a priest." — Dodslcy. Her wit and beauty for a court were made-; ,But truth and goodness fit her for the shade. Lyttletqn. — TO yAT»l*ni: DE DAMAS, LEABNINQ ENGLISH.' Though .British accents your attention fire, You cannot learn so fast as we- admire. Scholars like you but seldom can improve, For who would teach you but the verb, I love ? ON THE' DEATH 'OP A LADY'S PET PIG. | Oh, dry that tear, so. round and big; _ r Nor waste in r sighs,ydnr Drecious'wind 1 Death only takes a^w^rte' pig": Your lord and son are still behind. ~ FROM'NELSON. 'ij Take: nightcap agaii|i .my" good /lord, I

"Is thelitettaJOT^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H subdued-looki|ft^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H the s '.^^^jj^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^l gencs|jckjj^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| of i^i^l^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^l " Whwi^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^l looking"yoia^il^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H the young roajb^n^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H vincethe editoxiij^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H value than a P c <>|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| tablecloth'cbliar ptj^^^^^^^^^^^^^^J hat on . ybiuv headj^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^f me' the' xainute yc^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H Btretoh'SO\tiiat I c?o^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| Unless* you /are a :rii]^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^fl pocket of yboi|tt^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H like to h&ve.pnßHxßw^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H written on toojsqpMJW^^^^Bj^^^^^B prepared to befr"yeTOmSmTfda|^^M^^^^^B amount. Am I givinKftjpto ?yf||^H^^^^^| ' " You are certainly c °rcec't3s||l»^^^^Nj young man, " and if you wonld»DeiCT|B|^^^W *Don*t say any more." was " I can see by the way you BCore^dtfCTamßffiEßy word exactly what class yburaieJpSHraflM plant yourself in the corner ov^JjEHKBj^B hoot forth your madrigal or song^aiOTOT^HE or whatever it is. I can pipeyouJranß^Ba! here all right. ' '■-" The young man looked ' fiomGwH^SßfflßHßl prised, out took the position iridioa^^wHMK read as follows : ' "^^^^i^H Ah ! ne'er can I forget that happy-'daylp^^^H When you and I — not thinking *f And no one seeing us who might °B^3£g|jf|^| Each to the other gave a rapturous, .%fjfj^H I felt the passing pulses of y° ur hearii^i^Sl^H Responsive like an echo to my ?^'»lfjfji&J^H Your dreamy eyes and dewy lips ap^-ppf f|B| O'erwhelmed me with a thrill I ne'er|nffl^B ' known. > T^ina^l Since then, I know not whether thouljMMJß The kiss I gave ; nor whether, in my MgBJ^H rest, Dreaming, thy arms have wondered^wg^^B thou slept, ' „ ( ' ,-^HH Seeking again to fold me to thy fr r east,Mj|iH I only feel that thou art strangely chanjmmßß As thou wert warm, so art thouc&a|HHH While I, unconscious why thou art es |*|D£Hfl Burn with the. passion I gave thee qf&QI^H "It reads pretty smooth, doesn't it ?^||^HH the self-constituted critic to the JftW^fsM^U|J ft W^f$M^U| The latter individual nodded asVrantft^aa^Hj "But that's just the kimTof grjaejLtlSMM easy to write," continued the critic. "j-AJwra^HD anybody can grind out slush like thatJ4goM|BH thing that will rhyme every other une|jjg!p|9f not shift its gait. I could make a pratiyaaaßj " Allow me to suggest, sir," said the^JraflHE young man who had been doing the " that poesy is the flower of the s oul^||(ffl3aH plant which thrives only yh^|jge^^^HH I may venture to assert that, no,pefßon,pc^ Wjm gifted with the true poerao'jSre^cari wrtgSH verses. , . "Well, my pony-sucker," replied flies tmm ponent of turf law, " just to show you hb^ u|l from the pole you are trotting, I will giys"«sS|l a little exhibition of speed. Gimme a|®ffl gill somebody." ' / .^jPJjfflffl The pencil was produced, and the trotj^iffilll horse reporter began to write. In a few|«| minutes he had finished. n ■' ' v | " Now this stuff," he said lo the poet, " is*'-;g in just the 1 sanle meter as yours. Every other '-jt line rhymes, just like yours, and it tells' the , story exactly as well." He then read as : follows: — Ah ! ne'er can I forget that summer night When I went up — not noticing the pup, , , Nor thinking that the little brute would bite — To the front gate— and latchet lifted up. % I felt the passion .pulses of my heart Eesponsive to the bulldog's savage bark; I braced myself and got a running start, And showed a 2*lo clip across the park. Since then I know not whether thou hast kept The dog tied up ; nor whether you imagine At jumping gates I have become adept, . [that , Or can move on the fly, like midnight fiat. I only know that I am not a chump; No steeple-chase for me, my bonnie lass ; W I nevermore will leave you on the jump — ,\ When bulldogs deal the cards I always pass. ' : "Well," said the poet, in a hesitating manner, "of course that isn't bad— f6r a parody — but in the essential points of poesy it is hardly equal to my verses." " Perhaps not," replied St. Julien's friend, " but there's one place where I lay over you." "Where is that?" " My verses came out of my head and yours were stolen." ***** "It's a cold day when the trotting-horse reporter gets left," said the law reporter to the managing editor later in the day. "That's so," was the reply, "and that reminds me that it 'must have been pretty chilly around Eoohester, N. V., last July. I sent him down there to report a big race on the Fourth, and he never showed up in Chicago until the Bth. He said he got left."— Chicago Tribune. •«r-;-i r^S ILIitJSTBATING THE OLD-TIME JJ^St&J^^&^ff/^S FAIR IN LQYJB/oB WAB. ' T { Two hours have passed. So have seven or eight horse carsJ6ut the one for which Vivian is wasting fijiftHy cornea along and soon lands t him at thySoor of Pericles O'Eourke's house. , J. Ethelberia is sitting in her boudoir (high- , tonedyword for room) , sewing some foamy lace ' intp^he neck of a velvet dress, as the young _^, man entered. ' -'I have bad news for you, my darling," J Vivian says in sad tones, whileadon't-bluff- « | or-you-will-be-called look comes over bis face, i Bertie nestled her little dimpled hands con- | fidingly in his. "Tell it to me at once, sweet," m she said, " only with you alive and well'noth- J ing could be so very dreadful." .'J Vivian looked at herjwith a wonderful grave | tenderness in his blue eyes. 1 He was sizing her up. M , *' My father and I have quarrelled, and he Ja has disinherited me. I have"— and here- hisjjg voice quivered slightly—" been given the g. b. . x on your account. lam a beggar, Bertie." '■£ Her soft, dusky eyes grew wider and more r \. serious. ' ' "\ , " Yes," continued the sucker, "I am poorj>^ But I would'nt care if it wasn't for yorf, dar- >~ ling. It means that I must give you np, for*l / ;.< cannot ask you to share life with me on a < v ? thousand a year." *-- 'Jg She looked at him with a rich crimson flush ; *$'< surging into her cheeks. If it had been a full f-"^ ■ Vivian would probably have gone under, bu,fe; j>#) a flush could never scare him. - /"• "Vivian," she said, passionately, "doyo'u^rf too well for that. A beggar or a prince,' #6tf fri| are all the same to me-^my king, my loverj'^g^ < And he folded her to bis heart with a great^ |/|| • "My darling, my precious," he whispeieds j| ||| Three month's later, on a golden Decenib^^p afternoon, with' a blue sky as in' June,;ttiei^^ was a grand wedding at the O'Eoiirke mansjonll Wm As Vivian jand EthelberH;a-weTe.;OTteriQgl^fi||^